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ftmummy

Pregnant!!! spanner in the works, help

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Hi all so hubby and I been trying for baby for 15months now found out last month it prob wouldnt happen without a procedure to unblock my tubes so we decided to give up and chase our OZ dream and started pushing to go this year instead of next, we in process of colecting documents for visas and hubby got job lined up however.........................just found out i am pregnant arrrrgh am sooooo excited as it was what we wanted but now what do we do about OZ??????????? I am thinking hold off till after i have had it just to have support from family etc but i know hubby still keen on going b4!!! Argh really dont know what to do now!! also house not sold yet and i oly got till sep them wont be able to fly so not even sure it could even go through that quick! Any opinions, views advide anyone been or in this position help!!

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Hi all so hubby and I been trying for baby for 15months now found out last month it prob wouldnt happen without a procedure to unblock my tubes so we decided to give up and chase our OZ dream and started pushing to go this year instead of next, we in process of colecting documents for visas and hubby got job lined up however.........................just found out i am pregnant arrrrgh am sooooo excited as it was what we wanted but now what do we do about OZ??????????? I am thinking hold off till after i have had it just to have support from family etc but i know hubby still keen on going b4!!! Argh really dont know what to do now!! also house not sold yet and i oly got till sep them wont be able to fly so not even sure it could even go through that quick! Any opinions, views advide anyone been or in this position help!!

 

Oops your on a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster by the sounds of it??! Can`t be of much help but congratulations on your pregnancy...no matter which path you choose, there`s gonna be nothing that can compare to the precious little baby the 2 of you have created.

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Guest The Ropey HOFF

Only you can decide, I have read how difficult it is for new mums to settle, in Australia especially having only just got there, we don't know what sort of person you are, if you are upbeat, outgoing, make friends easy then I would say you should be ok, but if you aren't I would think long and hard about it, the move is mega hard for most as it is. Best of luck.

 

congratulations.:wink:

Edited by The Ropey HOFF

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Guest truebeliver

congratulations!!!!!!!!!!

 

but what a pickle........i would say put it on hold.... not everybody needs there family around but it defo does help when baby arrives not just practicly but emotionly aswell.....can your oh not get in touch with the company who is offering the job and see if they can hang on a while or they may be able to give him some leave so you can stay and he can return before your new arrival.....there may be a way around it so to speek

 

good luck

dawn x

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Now you get to raise your lightie in OZ !!!!! a little surfer dude / dudette Congratz !! my advice is go for it now !! get the visa and decide after that.


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

Arriving in Oz Sept 2012 !!!! :cool:

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congratulations!!!!!!!!!!

 

but what a pickle........i would say put it on hold.... not everybody needs there family around but it defo does help when baby arrives not just practicly but emotionly aswell.....can your oh not get in touch with the company who is offering the job and see if they can hang on a while or they may be able to give him some leave so you can stay and he can return before your new arrival.....there may be a way around it so to speek

 

good luck

dawn x

 

good piece of advice Dawn x

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Guest truebeliver
good piece of advice Dawn x

 

thanks hun.....im totally saying that from a mums point of view as a mum myself it was much more emotional and tiring with my first........in probably any other situation id say go for it.......except with your first child i dont think i could of done it and im desperate to go so that sort of says it all!!!!

Edited by truebeliver

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Thanks for your views everybody and trubeliever this is number 2 already have a 4 yr old too!! just cant decide!! will prob still carry on with all the visa's/arrangements etc then just go from there i think!

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Guest truebeliver

ahhhhhhhh i see....well i would go for it then! it was alot easier with second...... for me anyway, and you obvs know what to expect lol

best of luck hun and keep coming on here and let us know how you get on

 

dawn x

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Thanks Dawn its all so scary as it is without worrying about bump/hospitals etc! I worry a lot and like to know things have everything planned/mapped out lol hence the hesitation now! am sure it will all fall into place as hubby likes to keep telling me lol, will keep posts updated thanks again

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Guest truebeliver

im the same hun ive got to have descisions made like now!........then everythings planned to a tee........and then i worry if things dont go as planned .......i reckon we are our own worst enemy sometimes!...... but its actually quite nice to know im not the only one haha

 

im sure itll all be fine though with your planning and all! :wink:

 

ps. dont forget to take it easy!

Edited by truebeliver

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Deffo not the only one lol and yh we are our worst enemies haha, will just have to learn to sit back and let things happen as they happen not everything can be planned...!! much to my disgust lol. cheers Dawn will deffo take it easy! So are u already there or in process?

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Guest truebeliver

niether :(

 

my oh dosent want to go, well he does but hes not prepared to save for X ammount of years to do it which probably shows that he dosent really want to :confused:

 

he did at first and we discussed it then after a few weeks after researching the realisation of costs involved and the sheer ammount of digging,paperwork ect he was put right off.........leaves me in a bit of a predicament because im the one who really wants to go and i would do whatever it takes...... but ive got hope!

 

thats about all ive got but i cant give up...............i wont give up!

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True believer- if you really, really want to come then you will sooner or later Something will happen which will make it easier for you- that is the way of the world.

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Guest truebeliver

thats wot im hoping starlight......even if it takes untill retirement i will get there somehow!......thanks x

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If its your second then i would definitely go for it! I needed my family around for our first but we are planning another but not till we get there. All i would say is go to baby groups and meet other mums. That really helped me meet new friends and its good to get things off your chest that the OHs dont really wan to hear ! Dont waste this opportunity GO GO GO!!!! :wink: Good luck and Congratulations!! x


Been in WA for a year now :biggrin:

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Put your papers in and you can add the baby on when he / she arrives. There will be a wait anyway.

Its simply going to be a case of an extra medical.

Make sure you apply for a permanent residency visa.

Congratulations and good luck.

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Congrats!!!

I am in same position with my husband in the fact we have been trying and have been given incorrect advice from our useless agents.

I have put trying on hold just until our medicals are done as you cannot have one whilst pregnant.

It also depends on what visa you are going for as some are moving alot quicker than others. We started on a 176 and due to agents AGAIN we were changed over to a 175 and now all the 176 are going through and we are still waiting for a casehandler.

I would say go as far as you can as could be a wait anyway and when you get to meds the embassy will keep you on hold til your done and ready to go.

Hope this helps?

And good luck. xx

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Hi ftmummy

My wife fell pregnant just after we got our case officer, but we were told we had to put it on hold as my wife would not be allowed to have the x-ray in the medical.

I don't know if this is always the case but if you have not had your medical yet then this might be worth checking out.

either way I wish you the best with the little one and a safe trip over here when you do come.

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Hi,

 

I arrived in Perth in January, just under three months pregnant. I found out just a couple of weeks before we left the UK,it was a huge surprise as we had been told we would need IVF after receiving treatment for our first child, who is now three.

 

Anyway, this didn't give us anytime to think through what we were REALLY going to do. I had planned to enrol at uni for 12 months to get a teaching qualification, however after chatting to the uni when we arrived they felt sitting exams whilst 8 months pregnant would be too much.

 

Ok, now I sense your excitement and optimism so please remember these are my feelings and hindsight is a wonderful thing! If I could turn the clock back I would! Just because it is my second baby doesn't mean I need my family any less. And actually, my parents are deceased and I don't have any siblings so it's my in laws and husbands family that I feel I need around me.

 

It would be near enough impossible to get a job once I started showing so we decided I would stay at home with our three year old and without a word of a lie it has virtually sent me in sane! So, remember, when you arrive, money is tight so it's difficult to go shopping for baby things and you're constantly watching the pennies. The choice here I find is very limited for baby clothes and very expensive. I simply do not enjoy looking for clothes as I'm so used to the choice and variety the Uk offers us. My optimism and excitement in the UK led me to believe that Australia isn't a third world country, it WILL have everything I need but in reality, it just doesn't match up to the UK.

 

My daughter is enrolled at a class each day of the week and now, nearly five months in either her or I are yet to make a friend. This is very tough and think being pregnant makes it tougher because you want to chat about your bump, enjoy conversations about whether it'll be a boy or a girl, etc.

 

I can sense from your optimism that you will go ahead with your plans, well I did! I'll be honest, I regret it. I'm sorry this is a negative post but it gives you the other side of the story to think about. For me, the biggest thing was when I told my husband I would like to take a blue outfit and a pink outfit to the hospital, so the baby looks like its gender when we bring it home- without sarcasm or thinking about it, he simply replied, "why, nobody will see it!" This was the moment I realised how alone we were, the people that cared about us are so far away, the people we want to share out bundle of joy with are thousands of miles away.

 

For me, the dream hasn't turned out how I'd imagined it, oh boy didi plan and research but the power of emotions upon actually being here are something you can never plan for! I want to return to the UK for my children's sake, so they can share the time with their grandparents, so my baby can meet his family, so memories can be created. Before arriving here we thought family would visit and quality time would be spent with our children but circumstances change, my MILs husband has just lost his job and they told us yesterday they would not be able to afford to visit us at christmas, so it's just us four for Christmas!

 

I wish you lots and lots of luck and hope everything turns out exactly how you have dreamed it will, you've come this far and don't want to give up now! Stay strong and have a back up plan, we're stuck here now until we earn the money to get us back again, that's the one thing I never considered- a back up plan!


OH Bricklayer: Vetassess Practical 29/11/10, Positive Outcome 23/12/10, WA SS applied 04/01/11, WA SS approved 15/02/11, 176 Visa Lodged 09/03/11, Medicals 02/04/11, Medicals Finalised 14/04/11, CO 20/04/11, VISA GRANTED 01/06/11 , FLYING OUT 26/12/11 :cool:

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Hi,

I came back to Oz with my aussie husband (we had lived here before) when I was 6 months pregnant and honestly, it was the worst decision I have ever made. Raising my beautiful daughter without anyone to share her with has been heartbreaking. I have a fantastic mother's group but only see them for 2 hours a week. If you're not working it is really hard to meet people...plus, the 1st few months after having a baby you are all over the place and need old friends around rather than trying to drive yourself crazy making new ones. My DH's family are nearby but do not really bother with us - more of a monthly visit to pick apart my mothering skills and messy house rather than any kind of support!

I have since had a 2nd baby and whilst things are definitely easier this time, I still miss everyone back home and the lack of support. At the moment the plan is for me to get citizenship (I can apply in 9 months) and then for us to all go home.

Of course, this is just my experience but I 100% regret leaving home when I was pregnant. Hopefully if you do go, the area you move to will have a lot of people in the same boat. You don't want to move here just to mix with other Brits but having someone who knows what you're going through will be a massive advantage.

Sorry to be doom and gloom...everyone has different experiences though!

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Guest Guest62757

It is what you make it and how you look at the situation. If you are close to your family then I would stay.

 

With my first my mother lived in Spain at the time so she was only in London for a week after the birth so I did it all on my own which was fine in all honesty.

 

Just before we moved to Oz we found out I was pregnant and moved over when I was 3 months gone. Because it was my second they didn't have a mother group but I joined a playgroup and found myself other women who were also having baby number two. Again I was doing all this on my own with out family except for my husband who worked long hours. I also have a condition that requires me to go into hospital a few times a year.

 

It wasn't bad at all in fact I had another one after that!

 

My mum has since moved back to London and I do miss her not being able to see her grandchildren but its easier and cheaper for me to fly her out here.

 

I also have Australian friends who live away from family having their first and they have set up great networks with their mum's groups and they see each other quite often during the week.

 

So in all it depends on you, if you are outgoing, do you have a close family, do you do it for a few years then go back???

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