Most difficult decision or not at all?

[Guest Flo]

Hi all. It's my first post. I have read with great interest what people have had to say. We have been talking a lot about moving but for some reason I am petrified of taking the plunge and yet we have gone through the checklist and there is no reason for us to stay. We have 3 kids - 10, 8 and 6. As people say the sooner the better.

 

I have been worried about my eldest son who likes things just the way they are but hey I can't stay here for his best mate whom he might not see again after a couple of years.

 

We both have elderly parents and I suppose I'm thinking I might not see them again and I won't get blessing from my mother.

 

I know everything is right to move and it's now or never so why am I crying? I should be happy.

 

Also, I don't know anything about where to live or schools etc. I suppose we have a long way to go.

 

What I do know is that I have had it with the UK. There doesn't seem to be many people on the forum who have any regrets.

Best regards. Flo.

[sadsmile23]

Hi Flo,

just read your post and wanted you to know that you are not alone. I've wanted to take the plunge for a few years now, but we're only really in a position to seriously consider it now - my OH is going to take some prising away from his comfortable existence here tho. I've got 3 kids too, 11, 5 and 17mths and my oldest is exactly the same; his life revolves around mates+football and doesn't want that to change, but it seems like such a good opportunity for all of us to go for it. My mums been diagnosed with secondary cancer and I know that if I get on that plane I might never see her again and that breaks my heart, but I'm torn between living my dream and giving up my dream. I know I'd never forgive myself if I don't try, so we're just looking into our options at the moment, so fingers crossed. We are thinking of Perth at the mo, but I suppose we will go wherever OH can get work. Just as long as we get away from UK, lol!!

 

I know what you mean tho, comments from everyone on this site makes me want it even more, can't wait to go.

 

Best wishes

 

Jill x

[Guest Flo]

Thanks for your reply Jill. I have been pathetic these last few days looking at whatever I can to make me feel more positive and I still cry which I know sounds as if I don't want to go but it's a matter of must make changes and give the kids a better future. I really do want to go and I know it makes sense It's just that it doesn't come without consequences.

 

We've not had so much luck here recently but I have spent the last 10 years immersed in bringing up the kids so now suddenly I am thinking about the next 10 years.

 

It doesn't seem that my husband's job is listed on the most wanted but I suppose I start with an agency and see what they say.

 

Nobody with children and elderly family could do this lightly. I haven't the closest of family but the permanence terrifies me and my mother and brother will never forgive me. Of that I am sure as I will be taking the children. Also I don't fly but if I have to fly once more then I may as well make it Oz.

 

I know I sound all over the place. That's because I am but once the applications begin perhaps I will settle.

Many thanks. Flo.

[Guest suey]

Hi girls,

I read your posts and you both have the same concerns I have about going, and yet we all still want to go and try it. I think what's worse is having an opportunity like this and regretting not taking it up. I have three kids also 6, 3 and 22months, so it'll be a little easier for them and a really good time for them to go. My husbands got a got job waiting for him in Melbourne, the house exchanged contracts today to be out 17th Dec (living with my parents till we go) fly out in Jan. I am worried about leaving my parents and taking their grandkids away, it's like leaving this great hole in their lives, and I'm also worrying how I'll cope over there. Well, we've been planning this since May this year and I think it's taking that long for all these worries to ease Alot! I am giving myself a headache with all the worries of What if? now after 7 months I am looking forward to a new life over there. I looking at the area where I live and hoping the streets will be cleaner over there and the kids can play outdoors more. I don't think life is going to be perfect we will have bad days and want to come home but that's to be expected. If you talk about the move more often to people and family you become more relaxed with the idea, and sort of convince yourself you are doing the right thing for your family now! Even writing on these sites helps on those days were you still have the odd concern I have just reconfirmed that I am doing the right thing.

Hope this helps. :smile:

Sue

[Guest bernie]

Hi Flo, I also have a son who is ten. We have been talking about going over the last few years and as time goes on I think it does get harder for them (although they always end up being popular at school and making new friends). My son is probably more worried about things so talking about what HIS life would be like seems to help. He enjoys wildlife and talked about the sea life and surfing and being outdoors etc. That why we opted for now.

 

My friend has gone to the Sunshine coast and was living a similar life to me and she can not fault it where she is and is so happy to have gone.

 

You think going would make you happy but to be honest as many have said on here it's a rollercoaster ride but bottom line is we can't see how our life would be WORSE there! It could only be better and so we have started the process. It's alot to think about but taking one step at a time is what we found helps I still haven't thought for schools etc but that will come. Sometimes we feel guilty for leaving people and other times we can't wait to go so we have not got used to the ups and downs!!!

 

Think you have to make the decision and then stick with it and don't give up!! Good Luck, feel free to ask questions, Bernie :cute:

[Guest kdal]

Hi Flo, As everyone else says you are experiencing what almost everyone else does on here. Don't hold back for your sons friends, I remember my boys going to nursery with their friends and now at 14 and 16 , they do not have so much in common with them now and are not nearly as close anymore.

 

We are making the move now as it feels the right time for us now and also because of the age limit for migration so its now or never!

 

I had a conversation with my Dad today and we don't really talk Australia (we all know but it's kinda of not spoken about much), anyway he says that he had always wanted to live in Australia and he wishes now that he could just go and if he could he would go tomorrow but in the past family is what kept him here and a business that was doing really well some years ago. I could see so much sadness in him today whereas previously I felt he resented me but now I know it is because I am living his dream and maybe many years ago I was part of that family that he didnt want to upset by saying 'come on kids we're going'. So don't hold back for anyone as you may live to regret it and it can make you very bitter.

 

You don't want to look back on your life with what IF's.

 

Good luck and live your dream

[Guest Flo]

Thanks everyone. You have been fantastic. We all know we are talking about guilt and responsibilities but sometimes life pulls you away.

 

I am so appreciative of your comments. My dad was here tonight on his weekly visit to the kids and he is all for it. Funny because I stayed here for him years ago but perhaps for the wrong reasons. I came home to be with mum years ago. Now my brother looks after her and the future looks bleak.

 

I know I am right and will start the ball rolling. I think the thing that makes me sad is that it's almost like running away but I don't want it to feel like that. I'm not 21 anymore and I have responsibilities.

 

It's funny reading posters saying that perhaps they just weren't ready a few years ago and I feel the same. It's a massive move but I'm ready now. I haven't discussed it with 10 yr old yet but from what I hear it's sort of cruel to be kind.

 

Thanks again for your encouragement. Sorry to sound such a wimp but it's because I have made up my mind that I'm finding it so hard.

 

Does anyone know of the best agency to contact?

 

Flo x

[Guest kdal]

Hi Flo

 

Sent you a PM

 

Regards

[tracybayliss]

hi flo

 

I only joined this site a couple of days ago it is comforting to hear that many people experience the same difficulties and emotions.

 

Im an extremly emotional personal as it is and cant face telling my parents Im going, although im 42 I still always turn to my mum in times of trouble and difficult times. I began to get upset reading your thread, because I know just how you feel. I often have to keep telling myself its going to be a much better place for my children although the 12yr old says shes will run away at the airport.

 

Ask yourself this where would you want to retire here or there.

 

Ive made my self a promise and hopefully I will carry it through, to come back here every year as we would normally go away every year on holiday. My cousin lives in the Gold Coast and has been there for 26yrs her mum my aunt has never been to see her, which I dont think my mum would ever do, and at the very least your family like mine are only a day away.

 

good luck.

 

tracy

[Guest Flo]

Sorry all I accidentally hijacked someone else's post.

 

I want to thank you for being so supportive. I have had a rotten few days but today was the pits. I don't feel such a pathetic so and so after your support.

 

Talk about odd day. husband phones and says hi you okay, I burst into tears. Why? because I don't know what to do although I do really it's just the guilt.

 

As of half hour ago, i want to go to Australia, youngest age 6 wants a biscuit, middle wants to play recorder and eldest smells a rat as everytime he walks in I am on internet for Oz. We talked a couple of years ago about moving to France but it didn't happen so I think he has got the idea I'm up to something.

 

Thanks to the forum I feel tonnes better. I am not one for doing this thing regularly but the net is a fantastic place for things like this.

 

Keep it going for me and others that are just on the edge. It makes all the difference.

Thank you. Flo x

[Guest NicAndrews]

Hi everyone. I'm new to this site and it is helping soooo much reading your thoughts and comments. I thought I was the only one who was crying all the time and wondering whether I can go through with such a big move. Our kids are 14 and 12 and it seems such a big step to be making - can we find the right schools??? Our eldest is due to pick his options and start GCSE courses in September and trawling through the internet looking for schools in Aus seems to be a mind numbing process.

 

I thought once I had made my mind up to take the plunge then life would be happy but I find I am crying every day and every time I do something good (like something to do with Christmas and my parents) I find myself saying 'it will be the last time I do this'.... Does anyone have any advice on how to get around this?

 

Thanks for any advice anyone can offer.

 

Nic

[Guest kdal]

Hi everyone. I'm new to this site and it is helping soooo much reading your thoughts and comments. I thought I was the only one who was crying all the time and wondering whether I can go through with such a big move. Our kids are 14 and 12 and it seems such a big step to be making - can we find the right schools??? Our eldest is due to pick his options and start GCSE courses in September and trawling through the internet looking for schools in Aus seems to be a mind numbing process.

 

I thought once I had made my mind up to take the plunge then life would be happy but I find I am crying every day and every time I do something good (like something to do with Christmas and my parents) I find myself saying 'it will be the last time I do this'.... Does anyone have any advice on how to get around this?

 

Thanks for any advice anyone can offer.

 

Nic

.......

 

Hi Nic, My youngest son in the same position as your eldest, whereas he is starting his options next September (14 years old). I have looked on some Queensland schools websites and emailed a couple. It looks ok to move them as they can go straight into year 10 in Queensland (according to the emails I received), and in year 10 in Oz they then pick there options for year 11 and year 12.

My son has done so well here it is a shame that he will not take his GCSE's , but I think the Oz equilavent will be more beneficial to him. My eldest is sitting his GCSE's here before we go and there going back to school in Oz too.

 

You will get lots of up and down days, of guilt and then not feeling guilt etc.. But your only here once Nic so go for it. I don't like the thought of just living here all my life as you have to make the most of things.

 

Going to lunch with friends now, so will have to leave it there before I'm late

:wubclub:

[Guest NicAndrews]

Hiya,

Thanks for that - I didn't realise they picked options in year 10 (I find the years really confusing). Here the kids are in year 9 and 8 so we will be looking at starting them in school in Oz in September 2008 so it may be that he will be in time to pick his options then. I feel a bit like you - its a real shame he can't do his GCSEs as he is on course to get some really good results. I'll have to start emailing schools.

 

I'm trying hard to focus on the fact that you are only here once and you only get one chance at life. I know that moving to Oz is what I want to do and that Andy needs to do it for his job. The kids are really excited, but sad at leaving friends and family behind. I just didn't expect to find it so hard to leave my parents. They are being really supportive but I feel like someone is ripping my heart out most of the time. I have got to start to think positive!

[Stuju]

Hi all. It's my first post. I have read with great interest what people have had to say. We have been talking a lot about moving but for some reason I am petrified of taking the plunge and yet we have gone through the checklist and there is no reason for us to stay. We have 3 kids - 10, 8 and 6. As people say the sooner the better.

 

I have been worried about my eldest son who likes things just the way they are but hey I can't stay here for his best mate whom he might not see again after a couple of years.

 

We both have elderly parents and I suppose I'm thinking I might not see them again and I won't get blessing from my mother.

 

I know everything is right to move and it's now or never so why am I crying? I should be happy.

 

Also, I don't know anything about where to live or schools etc. I suppose we have a long way to go.

 

What I do know is that I have had it with the UK. There doesn't seem to be many people on the forum who have any regrets.

Best regards. Flo.

Hi Flo,

It is a very hard to decide if to move to the other side of the world and start again, you children are at an age where this would be so easier for you,than if you left it till they are older (i left 2 girls aged 21 & 18 in the uk-but have a 14year old in oz with me)

 

As far as schools where to live etc go - thats the easy bit, the hardest bit is making the choice to go and all the ups and downs that goes along with that choice (and of course getting the visa)

 

No one can make that choice for you - you have to decide as a family unit, you all only have one shot at life and you have to do whats best for you and not for others.

Wishing you all the best

gizmo

[Guest JoanneHattersley]

I had a conversation with my Dad today and we don't really talk Australia (we all know but it's kinda of not spoken about much), anyway he says that he had always wanted to live in Australia and he wishes now that he could just go and if he could he would go tomorrow but in the past family is what kept him here and a business that was doing really well some years ago. I could see so much sadness in him today whereas previously I felt he resented me but now I know it is because I am living his dream and maybe many years ago I was part of that family that he didnt want to upset by saying 'come on kids we're going'. So don't hold back for anyone as you may live to regret it and it can make you very bitter.

 

You don't want to look back on your life with what IF's.

 

Good luck and live your dream

 

KDal,

 

My mum was the same! I was living her dream and she had a VERY hard time coming to grips with it! We couldnt talk Australia in any way, shape or form!

[Guest natalie langley]

Hi all. It's my first post. I have read with great interest what people have had to say. We have been talking a lot about moving but for some reason I am petrified of taking the plunge and yet we have gone through the checklist and there is no reason for us to stay. We have 3 kids - 10, 8 and 6. As people say the sooner the better.

 

I have been worried about my eldest son who likes things just the way they are but hey I can't stay here for his best mate whom he might not see again after a couple of years.

 

We both have elderly parents and I suppose I'm thinking I might not see them again and I won't get blessing from my mother.

 

I know everything is right to move and it's now or never so why am I crying? I should be happy.

 

Also, I don't know anything about where to live or schools etc. I suppose we have a long way to go.

 

What I do know is that I have had it with the UK. There doesn't seem to be many people on the forum who have any regrets.

Best regards. Flo.

Hi Flo

We are leaving New Years Eve, we had our leaving party last weekend I spent most of the night crying !! Look at it as an adventure, if you don't try it you will never know if it doesn't work out you can always come back !! But at least you have tried be brave !!

Natalie

[gparkes]

Hi guys,

 

I am in the same boat as you all, we move out of our house today and into my mum and dads until next friday and we are flying on saturday (15th December)

I am not looking forward to the goodbye's as my mum is so upset about the whole thing. i have tried to keep cool and tell her its going to make our lives better and the standard of life over there will be better for us but she still will miss me loads and i will miss her too, and when i walk away from being cool i am a mess deep down and keep randomly crying thinking that if something happened to them while i am so far away would i really ever forgive myself???? i just don't know but as most people say you have to just go 4 it and its better to go and fail than to not go and regret not taking the oportunity.

 

It has been a rollercoaster for me as 3 months ago i was happy in a beutiful home i had a great job ect and within a day my whole world fell apart when my OH lost his job. he has such a specialist job that we always have to move to a different city and he had got job offers in sweden.london,glasgow and melbourne. i just went with the flow and thought about the quality of life and which job we would benefit from more and melbourne was an oportunity that if we hadnt excepted it none of the other jobs would have ever lived up to a sunshine life and large house other than a 1 bedroomed flat in london or a country that i couldne even speak the language.

 

This has all happened so quickly and i do feel better now about it than what i did when we made the discision it really does get better but i am not looking forward to goodbyes this week

 

Wish me luck

 

Gail

 

p.s sorry to ramble

[Guest kdal]

KDal,

 

My mum was the same! I was living her dream and she had a VERY hard time coming to grips with it! We couldnt talk Australia in any way, shape or form!

.....

 

Hi Johatts, This is so difficult as yes we just don't talk about it, my Dad opened up the other day but the phone rang and the conversation never finished from there, so things were left unsaid. He says that he is going to go too with or without my Mum!! I hope he was only trying to upset me and didnt really mean this, but I suppose he has to do what he has to do. Makes me feel pretty bad for my poor ole Mum though. I can only hope that she comes and visits and wants to stay too.

 

I have seen on other threads of yours that your parents are now fulfilling their dream by coming to live in Australia - Good for them and I hope they will be very happy

 

 

Regards

[Guest kdal]

Hi guys,

 

It has been a rollercoaster for me as 3 months ago i was happy in a beutiful home i had a great job ect and within a day my whole world fell apart when my OH lost his job. he has such a specialist job that we always have to move to a different city and he had got job offers in sweden.london,glasgow and melbourne. i just went with the flow and thought about the quality of life and which job we would benefit from more and melbourne was an oportunity that if we hadnt excepted it none of the other jobs would have ever lived up to a sunshine life and large house other than a 1 bedroomed flat in london or a country that i couldne even speak the language.

 

This has all happened so quickly and i do feel better now about it than what i did when we made the discision it really does get better but i am not looking forward to goodbyes this week

 

Wish me luck

 

Gail

...

 

 

Gail, I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you are going to be sooo happy in Australia.

 

Your husband lost his job here in the UK so you have very good reason to try something new. Sometimes you have to think things happen for a reason and then this throws a new opportunity out to you. We have had a rubbish year both mine and Oh's businesses gone downhill no fault of our own but due to the changes in legislations etc.. (wont bore you with it all lol).

 

We went to Australia for a holiday and never dreamed we would want to live there, although my eldest son has always said when he leaves school his going to Australia ! We thought going would make him change his mind when in fact we changed ours!!

 

I hope your parents are able to come and visit you and that you will be in a position to come back and visit them too. You should try and get them fitted up with skype or such like before you go. Also let them know about the penny a minute calls you can make from the Uk to Australia, so your move doesnt effect their pocket too much.

 

Good luck Gail :wubclub:

[Guest JoanneHattersley]

.....

 

Hi Johatts, This is so difficult as yes we just don't talk about it, my Dad opened up the other day but the phone rang and the conversation never finished from there, so things were left unsaid. He says that he is going to go too with or without my Mum!! I hope he was only trying to upset me and didnt really mean this, but I suppose he has to do what he has to do. Makes me feel pretty bad for my poor ole Mum though. I can only hope that she comes and visits and wants to stay too.

 

I have seen on other threads of yours that your parents are now fulfilling their dream by coming to live in Australia - Good for them and I hope they will be very happy

 

 

Regards

 

Im sure that things will work theirselves out in the end!

 

Thank you for your good wishes re my parents! I CANT WAIT!!!

 

Always here if u wanna chat!!

[Guest kdal]

Im sure that things will work theirselves out in the end!

 

Thank you for your good wishes re my parents! I CANT WAIT!!!

 

Always here if u wanna chat!!

..

 

Thanks, I can see me PM'ing you in the future! So good to have this site

[Jackboots]

hi there, wow were all in the same boat im a new one to this site and am i glad i found it, hi flo told my inlaws and family in the summer and had the shock to here them all say go for it, don't blame you etc...sometimes they surprise you dad said he will pop over every 2 yrs , this is a guy who never flys and tows a carravan, any way its not one way, but we said its for ourselves but mainly for our daughters future, my cousin came over for a hol in april from perth and was shocked by the difference here she said her kids would be like fish out of water, and its a better place for kids to grow up out ther! she was from here orig, anyway we used 1st contact and have been fine with them so far were waiting to here for our meds next stage its long and drawn out but we can't wait now were on the journey good luck, sharon.

[Guest Flo]

Hi all. I started this thread. See how I've changed. See "told the kids". I feel ecstatic. Told everyone except my mother but that was never going to be easy. I'll keep you posted.

Flo x

[Guest tracy.grinsell]

Hi Flo

 

Im in the same boat as Gizmo, leaving 2 of my 4 children behind(16+19 year olds) one at college and one at uni. They are going to live with their dad till they finish their education and then come out to oz. But coming out for visits in the meantime. We havn't gone yet, we are mean't to be going end of jan but visa has not arrived yet (457), i' already feeling crap inside even though my 16 year old had the choice to come she is breaking my heart, because now she is getting stressed about moving in with her dad, i really wish she would come with us but i do understand that she wants to finish her college course. My 19 year old can't wait to finish uni so he can come over to live.

At the moment i feel dammed if i don't go ,dammed if i do. My two youngest children will benefit so much from the lifestyle and so will my oh and me so that and the thought that one day i Will have all my 4 children with me sort of keeps me going.

 

Sorry for rambling on, but least your children are young and basically what you says goes and you know deep down you are making the best choice for them.

 

Good luck with all your decisions.

 

Tracy

[Guest donovan]

Hiya Flo and everyone else that has posted on this thread.

Me my husband and 3 kids age 11,9 & 3 moved out in August this year, we have been to Oz a few times before and the kids loved it, but when it was time to move the eldest really found it hard leaving his house and friends, and we felt guilty about putting him through the BIG move, all our emotions were all over the place too, but honestly when they got here and started school and made new friends (and they love the english kids here) they are now loving their new life, and you will soon make new friends here too, so try not to worry, you have to do whats right for you and your family.

 

hope this helps

 

 

Sarahx