Why is it so difficult to say YES?

[Guest mandy1970]

We have given ourselves until Xmas to make our decision whether or not to emigrate but as Hubby is going to his work on Tues for a month we want to make it yes or no by then.

 

Hubby and girls want to go and so do I but I am having great difficulty saying "lets do it". I wake up in the night having panic attacks. For no reason I think SH*T and start shaking. I have been on PIO asking random questions, I am doing loads of research on here and in general, roughly know where I want to live and in what house etc. My family are all behind us and have even started looking to see what they can have!!

Is this normal?

Do I just say it and let the excitement take over?

[Guest Mrs C]

Hi Mandy,

 

I know exactly how your feeling, the whole process is quite daunting. I made my decision to go, a long time ago, but couldn't go for several reasons. My hubby was born there and I am going on a Spouse Visa (I Hope). My eldest daughter is not sure, the middle one only wants to stay for two years and my boy wants to go tomorrow. There are a lot of mixed feelings, but I took the Bull by the Horns, and thought England will alway's be here. We have never been to Oz so really going into the unknown, but looking at it as one big adventure.

 

Good luck with your decision, it does sound a bit one sided to me!

 

April

[keily]

GO FOR IT MANDY !!!!! YOU CAN ALWAYS CHANGE YOUR MIND [WOMANS POROGATIVE] LOL .... IT IS A SCARY THING TO DO BUT AS YOU GET THROUGH EACH STAGE YOU REALLY START TO LOOK FORWARD TO GETTING THAT FINAL EMAIL ... JUST WISH OURS WOULD HURRY UP :arghh::twitcy:

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DECISION

MRS KEILY

[Guest Sarah&Darren]

I know exactly how you feel. The big thing for me is leaving my Mum, that is going to be so hard. For the first time I'm taking time to smell the roses, time with friends, time with family. Why is it so hard, when it's for the best!!

 

Sarah

[tracybayliss]

hi

 

me and my hubby take it in turns to wake up in panic, just when i think its the right thing to do he panics then when hes happy re making the big step i wake up shaking and often convince myself that every one going through the same process must feel like this too! had job offer and told today they want me there on the 10th March, so again went into complete panic, i get excited when im talking about it to other people but then often at night think about all the sorting out to be done, i suppose when done things get better, like me you'll never know unless you try it, thousands of people do and dont come back so must be worth it. keep in touch

tracy and john

[Guest Sarah&Darren]

I know! I can talk about it all day long and look at every website going....but when it actually comes down to the real stuff...I panic. Do you think we are like this because it is so far away?

Sarah

[ali]

It's natural to have uncertainly after all you're taking a step that will change the rest of your lives. Think about the reasons you want to stay in the UK and the reasons for moving to OZ. For me it was particularly helpful to read about things that weren't quite so rosy so I could think what I would do if those circumstances arose. Some people give themselves a time limit of say 2 years and say they'll stick it out no matter what for that time and then see how they feel. If you don't like it - you'll have had a great experience living in another country.

 

If you can afford to and haven't been - why not visit, I don't think you can make 100% decisions on which suburb you want to live until you've seen them - the only thing we kept too was living south of the river.

 

Good luck

 

Ali

[Stuju]

It is a very tough decision to make and alot of people do change their minds once they get to oz and go back home. I hope you don´t mind me saying

"Follow your heart and not your head"

 

wishing you the very best of luck

gizmo

[Guest billy braveheart]

Hi Mandy

 

It took Billy 10 years to talk me into coming over so i understand your thoughts it is a very scary decision to make. I'm sure you will make the right choice for you & your family.

 

Good Luck

 

Janette

[alcocainmel]

Hi Mandy

 

I was exactly the same. Oh was the driving force so to speak, and tried everything to get me to say yes.

At the time we started the process I said yes but it seemed such a long way off and I never thought the time would come when we would be in Oz.

Even after we were granted our PR I kept changing my mind....one minute yes then no. It took Oh over 2 years after we were granted our visa to get me over here!!

 

Dont get me wrong it wasnt that I didnt want to come, I was just worried about going into the unknown. (Even tho we had been over 3 times before).

 

Now we are here I know that we made the right decision and we couldnt be happier.

 

Deb xx

[Guest mandy1970]

Thanks for all your replies.

 

I was born in Perth so I do sort of know what it is like. My parents moved back to Scotland when I was 7 and I always said I would go back. There is still family and friends there so we would not be on our own.

Everything that happens just now seems to say GO, things breaking in the house, the weather etc. One person said it seems a bit one sided but I promise it isn't. I am about 98% certain but I suppose its like saying "I love you" for the first time - you dont know what to expect. I think I just need to give myself a damn good shake. I have already moved in my head and yesterday I sent for quotes for shipping my stuff and the dog!!!!!

I will keep you posted

[ali]

Give it a go Mandy - the worst that could happen is you don't like it. I think you're right in that you've already decided as you're doing things to promote a move. When we came back from Aus the first time and were seriously thinking about migration, there were adverts in/on the media, shows about migration - we took it as a sign that we were meant to try - we're glad we did and don't think we'll look back.

 

Ali

[Guest Emcee]

Hi Mandy

 

Like a lot of people on here I have been in the same position as you. I posted a thread about my dilemma a few weeks ago and had a lot of responses that were really helpful to me. It might help you too if you can find it - I think I called it "Should I stay or Should I go" and it's in the general dilemmas forum.

 

Anyway, after that I/we took the decision and it's now full steam ahead. The sale of our house completes on 7 Jan and we fly out on 8 Jan. Even so, I can't say I'm not very nervous about it. And, if I'm totally honest, I sometimes think that it could all be a big, costly, stressful mistake.

 

However, there's only one way to find out and that's to do it. And to do it with as positive a mindset as possible (not always my strongest point, in truth).

 

Some people just know that certain things are right for them , e.g. a particular job or house or even moving to Australia. But I don't think that you need to worry if it doesn't feel like that for you. Some decisions are so big and involve so many different angles that it may just not be possible for you to 'know' what is the right thing to do. That's certainly been the case for me.

 

So, I think that all you can do in that situation is weigh up all the important considerations and decide, on balance, which way to go. Once you've decided, put it into action - acknowledging the doubts and fears along the way - but giving it your best shot. Then, if for any reason it doesn't work out you can probably accept it without too many regrets.

 

Anyway, that's what I'm trying to do, give or take the odd panic attack.

 

All the best

M

[Guest Flo]

Emcee I couldn't agree more.

[Guest Flo]

What a strange day! So many people experiencing the same or similar.

 

Our house has seen a very odd day. I have been cried every time I have received a post and not one of you has been abusive - far from it. I want to go to Australia, my 6 year old wants a biscuit, my 8 year old is playing the recorder and my 10 year old smells a rat!

 

We all have our personal reasons for wanting to go. It's going to be tough but I have made my mind up. As one poster said, where do you want to be and where do you want your kids to be. I would never wish for my children to stay in my town although it would be like losing a limb.

 

Carry on posting your encouragement to me, even though you are making me cry. I won't be this wimpy for long once we get on the road.

Flo x

[Guest Flo]

Sorry I have put this on the wrong one but it doesn't matter, we are all in the same boat!

Good luck all.

[ali]

Aw Flo, we didn't mean to make you cry. If you decide to go ahead, you'll be a mixture of emotions for several months and feel like your having a nervous breakdown lol. Why not get xmas over with and make a decision in the new year - "new year new start"

 

From a personal point of view, my children were 11 and 7 when we moved (both have now had a birthday), someone asked my eldest if she's go back to England and she said only for visit. My two have settled in so well (It was a great relief), and my son has thrived in this environment where he can play outside most of the time.

 

 

Ali