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From a book called Anguished English, by Richard Lederer. Reproduced with his permission, so long as you run out and buy his book! <BIG><BIG><BIG>Some do's and don't do's for all you travelers</BIG> In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs. In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results. Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years. In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers. In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter. A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played. In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right. In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin. On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life. Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run. >From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. >From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor. Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: - English well talking. - Here speeching American. </BIG></BIG> <BIG><BIG></BIG></BIG> <BIG><BIG>:laugh:</BIG></BIG>

As some of you know, I'm not going away for another 6 months but over the next few months I will be starting to buy things for the trip :cute: and knowing me I'll forget even the most important things, so what should I be taking? Definately and maybes? I've already got my flight and visa sorted....what else could I be doing at this stage? Anything you can think of will be appreciated :cute: and I'm sure it will be useful for other people too.

Hi folks, we are off on our validation trip on the 16th May and need to sort out the money side. Now we have a Nationwide Current Account, with a Visa Debit card. Can someone please tell me whether our card will work out in Adelaide. Now I have asked my bank this question and they assure me it will, but they also said that, when we went to Italy last year, and it didnt. So a bit worried, to risk it. The other option is to order Aus Travellers Cheques. Also can anyone recommend a good place to order money from, with a good exchange rate of course....whatever that may be :wink: Thanks Mandisfam

Hi everyone, Before we get started on our Australian de-facto offshore visa application we would like to get a few queries answered to decide whether our situation requires an agent or is straight forward enough to go it alone. We met whilst travelling 2 years ago and have lived and travelled together ever since. We have some documentation to support this including travel documents, email messages and even a joint bank account. We would like to hear from anyone who has gone through with this visa who has shared a similar experience and could tell us how they found it. Also a possible agent who they found to be supportive of the circumstances. Cheers.

Hi, Used TCP over 10yrs ago when backpacking and just wondering if anybody has used them as a redirection from UK when they first moved as I know the Oz post have to see you in person so no good for us? Plus looking at their website is seems they only set up one persons name so anything in our joint names not sure what would happen to it?:confused: Thanks

Hello there, I hope you do not mind my contacting posting, but I am currently working a documentary for Channel 4 and am trying to get in touch with people who might be doing some travelling as part of a big move, or just the travelling alone. To tell you a little more- Channel 4 are producing an new landmark documentary series about the growing number of British families putting day-to-day life on hold to see the world with their children. Through the films we hope to highlight just how rewarding, educational and most importantly possible it is to go traveling with the kids. Our hope is that the programmes will inspire more parents thinking about this kind of trip to actually take the plunge and get involved around the world. We also want to highlight the positives of this kind of experience has on a family unit and the educational benefit for children. Each family would be left with a unique travel-log of their journey. We would not plan to be with the the family the entire time but would provide them with a camera to record the events with us dropping in at certain key points along the way. We hope to follow five families in the series and whilst we have already started filming with three we are still looking for two more to be involved who could be leaving anytime. It would be really good to get in touch, even if just to tell you a little more about the project. please drop me a line naomielkinjones@twentytwenty.tv Kind Regards Naomi Tel: 07878062874

Does anyone know if you get charged for paying Australian Dollar travellers cheques into a bank in Australia?? We are changing some tomorow rather than taking all cash, but wasnt sure if we would get charged for doing this. Thanks in advance everyone

hi guys does anyone know how much aprox do banks or whoever charge to change travellers cheques to cash? julie :wubclub:

Just like to put a call out to any lone ex-pats who, like myself, bravely decided to make the move to the gold coast as a single person. If there is anyone who would like to meet, whether you've been here for a while or just a short time and need some support, dont hesitate to get in touch. I know how hard it can be to meet new people and start a new life completely from scratch. Cheers Linds

:yes:Is anyone thinking of visiting our beautiful country? Well during the period 5th October, 2008 to 15th November, 2008 we will be visiting your fair country, so I thought perhaps we could offer our house which is in East Fremantle, Perth, WA for a very reasonable price. It is a 3 bedroom/2 bathroom townhouse, very good location just 5 mins walk to the river and 3 mins drive to Fremantle. Fully furnished, fully equipped kitchen with dishwasher/microwave, plasma TV/DVD/Surround Sound, air conditioned, lovely back garden area with Spa/BBQ. Near bus route. All you have to do is just unpack and enjoy. Quiet living - not a party house. So..... If anyone is interested, please send me an email.