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Found 10 results

  1. Ok here's the deal--I've been hearing a lot about bad drivers in Aus--by bad I mean people who show very little courtesy to other drivers. This I think is very much evident and distressing for those coming from the Uk because we as a nation love to follow rules and generally are very courteous on the roads(I'm sure people who live in cities like Birmingham may have a different story to say)--it almost gives us pleasure to give way for others, to wave back to those who've done us a good turn, and so on.( actually I sometimes give way just to get me in a good mood :laugh:--call it feel good factor or something) So actually I've been thinking for a while that we need to design a poster sticker--you know the kind that says Dogs are for life not just for Christmas--well that kind of thing!You get the gist I hope. So if we were to design such a sticker the aim would be that we distribute it amongst ourselves--anyway there are tons of brits out there who are used to the way things are here----back to the point---the sticker should be cheerful and say something that would make the guy behind you smile as well as think as well as encourage him to give way more. So lets try to be inventive...it might just work you know!
  2. Nothing will Help Me Mum!
  3. Guest


    :smile::smile::smile:went to the fridge and right at the back was an easter egg.................said won't be here at easter mum so here is your egg...................made me smile ................what made you smile today?
  4. Hello to you all..We took our first steps in applying to live downunder today, and in the process found this site. Impressed so much by the help and advice given and recieved we thought we'd sign up.. We've been to oz befor a few times and feel we'll be in a possiion to move in about a year or so. Kat is a nurse, and I (mudd) am a building maintenance kinda guy. Kat will post sensible posts and ill do the nonsence, we'll both be under this user name. If anyones got any tips ready to throw at us, GO FOR IT....:hug:
  5. gaz n family

    Some jokes to help everyone smile

    Got sent these today. thought they might help others to smile in all this sad news with the floods, and the frustration of most waiting for a CO >Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. > >Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for some hot action. So I sent her my ironing. That’ll keep her busy. >After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That’s when he realised he had made it home safely. > >Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year”. Mick said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th then." > >My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner. It took her 5 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak. > >Came home one day early in December to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone’s Advent calendar…? > >I’ve been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit. > >After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing. > >A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, “Never mind son, maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part". > >2 women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, and when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes…. I think they were Hovis Witnesses. > >An elderly couple were being interviewed recently here on TV and were asked how they keep so fit? The guy said, we have sex nearly every day … nearly on Monday…nearly on Tuesday etc > >I thought I'd be a gentleman and hold the door open for a young lady. Two minutes later she said "will you sod off. I'm trying to have a sh1t!!” > >Brought the missus some crotch-less knickers yesterday, It had nothing to do with a sexual nature, it was so she could get a better grip on her broomstick.. > >Advice for Kate Middleton - If you get divorced make sure you wear a seatbelt... > >Due to the water shortage in Ireland, swimming baths in Dublin have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8. > >I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency. ** DELETED SOME IN FEAR OF FLACK FOR NOT BEING PC ** If they do offend, then sorry, it was certainly not my intention
  6. Rob and i have just heard the news from our agent that we have been granted the visa!!!! I am currently sat in work trying my best to act normal (ish) as nobody has a clue and i dont intend on them finding out until i hand in my notice (new job you see, dont want to be given the boot!) We'll be celebrating with one or two (or three........) glassed of champers tonight!!! For those in the early stages believe me all the effort put into the application is well worth it in the end!!
  7. Guest

    Something to make you smile

    Years ago we bought a new mailbox and over the years due to the weather it started to fall apart, I kept saying to the OH that we needed to get a new one, anyway I was coming out of the house one morning and wondered what was lying on the retaining wall, I was amazed to see a lovely new mailbox, homemade with a little note attached which said: "Hello, I pass your house everyday on my morning walk with the dog and noticed your mailbox was in need of repair, as I am now retired and like to make things I have made you this mailbox, I hope you don't mind, but I get great pleasure in woodcraft" Well you could have knocked me over with a feather, I have no idea who is lovely person is and left a note for him attached to the mailbox once the OH put it in place. Just thought I would share this lovely story with you all so that you can see what a beautiful country Australia is.:jiggy:
  8. Guest

    Have a smile and pass it on!

    I hope this makes you smile ... if so add another to it ..and pass it on! :twitcy: Duck walks into a bar... Duck: Got any bread? Barman: No, sorry, mate we haven't. Duck: Got any bread? Barman: No, sorry. Duck: Got any bread? Barman: I SAID, I have no bread! Duck: Got any bread? Barman: NOOO ... I SAID I HAVEN'T GOT ANY BREAD! Duck: Got any bread? Barman: Look you stupid duck, if you ask me if I've got any bread one more time, I'm gonna grab your beak and nail it to the bar! Duck: Got any nails? Barman: No. Duck: Got any bread? :cute:
  9. WHEN A PRETTY SMILE STIFLES THE FIGHT Karen Thurgood, aged 20, and 5ft 7in. is a night-club bouncer. Bubbling with personality, she shrugs off any thought of danger. 'I just act nice and friendly, just like one of them. They respect me for doing a job.' Sandy-haired Karen, with the widest, friendliest grin in Toowoomba, south-east Queensland, was chosen to stand at the door of The Court House, a $1.1m. refurbished mecca for the rural ravers, when there were 16-stone footballers standing ready in line for the job. 'I put on my black pants, white shirt, jacket and black tie and realise that anybody intent on causing trouble is only trying to draw attention to himself. Once you understand that, it helps a lot when you're called on to the dance-floor.' The moment there is a disturbance in the boisterous crowd of 400-500 dancing to disco, Karen, from Newport Pagnell, knows she's got several male heavies to help sort it out. But her sweet reason always seems to work. Like the night a drunken female customer locked herself in the toilet. 'I got another guy to help me get her out, then I escorted her to the door to make sure she got into a cab safely. She went quietly. 'We are only there to keep the peace. As the boys come in some of them ask me if I can fight and what self-defence I use. The girls find it odd to see a female bouncer and want to know: "Aren't you worried you're going to get hurt?" ' She's not. 'It's mainly common sense and talking people out of being aggressive. I did a self-defence course when I was 18 and then security training where they taught us all the moves.' David Ash, her boss at the Court House club, says: 'She's always such a happy person she can change people's moods.' Toowoomba has been celebrating its annual carnival of flowers and Karen was runner-up in a Queen quest to raise money to help pay for the entertainment. Between her canteen work and nightclub bouncing she raised $1,510 through car washes, raffles and cosmetics parties. But there is a dark, underside to the rural city renowned for its gardens, its turn-of-the-century mansions once owned by a squattocracy who reigned over thousands of square miles of pasture; it has good seasons and gloomy spells, depending on rain. As grass turns tinder dry and farm incomes plummet, the effect is seen in doctors' waiting-rooms as despair brings on illness and psychological depression. Surveillance cameras have had to be mounted in the streets to help prevent an upsurge in crime. Fresh-faced Karen works by day at a hospital caring for the mentally ill, and sees the end result of the seasonal downturn. 'I serve in the canteen and every day I see the unstable, the mentally troubled, and the victims of drug and alcohol addiction. It's interesting to meet them to get a chance to chat with them and find out what is wrong with them. Sometimes it's hard to take, because they seem so normal. But they are sick people who are certifiable and have problems in their lives that handicap them. 'I give them a cup of coffee and get to know them. A lot of them just enjoy somebody saying "g'day, how are you?" You know, that somebody cares? It is,' she assures you, 'a very enjoyable job.' She gets to the canteen some mornings after only four hours' sleep. 'I am on the door from 10 pm until about 2.30 am.' Her long-distance coach driver father, who can be 2,000 kms away, is confident she can look after herself in her $11-an-hour job. But her mother, Moira Thurgood, admits: 'John, and I lie awake some nights waiting to hear Karen's car arrive. Toowoomba is not as bad as a lot of places, but nevertheless some disturbing things happen at night. A fortnight before my eldest daughter's wedding, her fiance was beaten up badly. Then Karen's car was broken into when she was raising money for her quest and lost a brief-case containing documents and money. She made up for the lost cash from her own pocket. 'She also had scratch lottery tickets stolen, but some English friends of ours living nearby kindly made up for that loss; their caravan had been broken into recently and they knew how she felt. The downturn in the rural industry has made so many people around here depressed and they see no way out of it. I took my youngest daughter to see where Karen works the other day and she found it hard to understand. I explained that it wasn't so long ago they locked up young mothers here for having a baby out of wedlock.' Karen's ambition? 'I want to get into the tourist industry. I am going to England next year to go on tour with a leading firm so I can learn the ropes and hopefully get a job with them. I have aunts and uncles all over the country and I'm going to see my 94-year-old grandfather in London.'
  10. Guest

    Sunday Smile

    This is so sweet: This is the most successful ad ever placed in the lonely hearts column of the American Atlanta Journal: "Single black female seeks male companionship. I am a very good girl who loves to play. I enjoy long walks in the countryside, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cosy winter nights snuggling by the fire. Candlelit dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I`ll be there when you get home from work wearing only wot nature gave me. Call 4048 7564 20 and ask for Daisy - I`ll be waiting! " Some fifteens thousand surprised chaps found themselves talking to the Atlanta Dog Rescue Service when they dialled!!