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Hi All, Can't believe it, this place is hard to take sometimes. :sad: In a nutshell, moved from Liverpool UK in Jan 2010 with 2 cats - now 9yo. Two days ago our male was fine - he was the house cat, the female is an outdoors cat. He hid in our closet for 24 hours - usually hides, but I didn't see him eat his dinner, or sit with us when the kids went to bed. About 2am I woke up and opened the door as I heard him moving inside, so he could go in and out as he pleased. Didn't think to check him, so next afternoon thought he was trapped somewhere when I found him in the cupboard, unable to move, his breathing sounding like snoring, struggling a miaow, covered in urine, a real mess and pretty harrowing. carried him and lay him on the kitchen floor while I got catbox, vet called and baby in carseat for dash to vets. Raced to the vets - they found a tick on his neck - (1cm murderer!!!) and they stayed with him till 9pm, he got stressed being moved - to be taken to a 24hr vet facility, and so they said they'd have to leave him unattended in the surgery with oxygen, sedated, and see if he made it by himself. Got a call at 7.45 on Tues 26th Oct, to say he'd died in the night. Went there at 9.30am to say goodbye. :cry: Worst is that I didn't want him to die alone, so wish we could have brought him home and stayed with him. Once we'd got the cats from Quarantine in March, it felt the family was whole again. Now it's a nightmare, and I feel like I just can't breathe. The guilt of bringing him, of not finding him earlier, of now cleaning out the shelf he was on, and the cat box and towel I took him to the vets in. Just so many tears. He was with us pre-kids. I insisted on bringing them because they are family. Doing the kitchen sink thing, and being irrational thinking, why did we even come out here, such a struggle and now this before our first Xmas here. argh!:cry::sad: It's only been a day or so, so pretty raw still, but he's not coming back. and I'm at a loss. Poor kids just keep saying, oh mummy don't cry. It's ok. One word from the wise, 'you can't turn back time'. And that's all I seem to be wishing right now.