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Found 53 results

  1. I love this guy his honesty alone is worth the viewing.
  2. paulswin

    Too Funny!!!

    Subject: FW: Move to Australia - haha - BRILLIANT! > THIS IS ABSOLUTE GOLD > > DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA > > August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new > home in Karratha, Western Australia. > Now this is a town that knows how to live! > Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. > I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. > It was beautiful. > > I've finally found my new home. > > I love it here. > > September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. > No problem though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car. > What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. > > I'm turning into a sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds!! > > September 30 - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. > > Lots of palms and rocks. > > No more mowing lawns for me! > > Another scorcher today, but I love it here. > > It's Paradise! > > October 10 - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. > How do people get used to this kind of heat? > > At least today it's windy though. > > Keeps the flies off a bit. > > Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected. > > October 15 - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. > > Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. > > Missed three days off work. > > What a dumb thing to do.. > Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this! > > October 20 - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car > before I left for work this morning. > > By the time I got back to the car after work, > > Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck > to the upholstery. > > The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat s@:@. > > I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat. > > October 25 - This wind is a bastard. > > It feels like a giant f@:@:g blow dryer. > > And it's hot as hell! > > The home air conditioner is on the blink > > and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order > parts from f@:@:g Perth ........The wife & the kids are complaining. > > October 30 - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still > haven't arrived for the f@:@:g air conditioner. > > House is an oven so we've all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 > nights now. > > Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside. > > Why the hell did I ever come here? > > November 4 - Finally got the f@:@:g air-conditioner fixed. > > It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but > the humidity makes it feel about 35. > > Stupid repairman. > > F@:@:g thief. > > November 8 - If one more smart bastard says 'Hot enough for you today?' > > I'm going to f@:@:g throttle him. > > F@:@: heat! > > By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my > f@:@:g clothes are soaking f@:@:g wet > > And I smell like baked cat. > > F@:@:g place is the end of the Earth. > > November 9 - Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and > sat on the black leather upholstery in my car. > > I thought my f@:@:g arse was on fire. > > I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off > my f@:@:g arse. > > Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat. > F... F.... F... > > November 10 -- The Weather report might as well be a f@:@:g recording. > > Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and f@:@g sunny. It never f@:@:g changes! > It's been too hot to do anything for 2 f@:@: months and the weatherman > says it might really warm up next week. F:@:> > November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f@:@: place? > > Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might > just dry up and blow into the f:@:@ pool. > > The only things that thrive in this f:@:@ hell-hole are the f@:@:@g flies. > > You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of > the little b:@:@ds! > > November 20 - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 f@:@:' degrees today. > > Now the air conditioner's gone in my car. > > The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' > > I wanted to shove the f@~@~ car up his ****ing arse. > > Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of > jail for assaulting the stupid pr@:k . > F@&%$ Karratha ! What kind of sick, demented f~@~ idiot would want > to live here! > > December 1 - WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!! > > You are f@@@"% kidding me! > > > Thought this was funny but had to go through it and edit the swear words!!! Can you believe my mother and father and law sent me this and we are off to Perth in Jan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. Libbysmummy

    funny little rituals

    Do you have any little rituals/ocd now your in oz? :eek: My brother still bangs his shoes after he visited a few years ago, and i've been told to check under the seat and fold the bed back to check before getting in:arghh: can see me developing a bit of OCD LOL! Are there any little rituals you would advise, er like life saving ones from poisoness spiders:wink: x
  4. At first, Geelong scared me. For a town (city) with a population of 200,000 it's incredible how small it feels. I just thought I'd share some peculiar experiences of Geelong life, and wonder if anyone else has experienced similar. The Geelong Cats are arguably the greatest ever team of footballers, playing the most prominent 'code' in Aus. But these guys are locals alright. In 3 years, I've had 3 personal run ins with local footy legends. Cameron Ling 2 years ago, in my role as fill in bowler for the North Geelong VI's (!?), I bowled an over of what could best be described as 'buffet bowling' at him. Nice fella, but he couldn't help smiling as he biffed me all over the park. I took it in the nature it was intended: middle aged fat English bloke providing a (not really needed) confidence boost to a local legend during the off season! He certainly didnt get any exercise as he stood there, Viv Richards style. In the bar at half time he was just one of the lads playing for his old school, St Joey's. Joel Selwood About a year ago, I was driving into the car park near Officeworks when this fella in flash new car reversed into the side of my car. He got out, apologised, we swapped details. I had no idea who he was, I just thought he looked like yet another cashed up tradie TBH (he towered over me, looked as fit as a butcher's dog, very much an alpha male). I rang my insurance company next day, and was informed by the call operator that Joel Selwood was in fact a very well known 'Catter'. Darren (Dasher) Millburn Another Cat's legend. My lad is in the same kindy class as this bloke's lad. Again, huge bloke, he did a session with the kindy kids teaching them about footy.
  5. Guest51810

    any jokes or funny storys!?

    Im feeling a bit fed up today, not sure if its the fact that the lovely weather has disapeared or im just being a grumpy moo as usual lol. Has anybody got any jokes or funny storys that might cheer me up. Or just tell me to stop being crabbit lol that might work
  6. :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: Forget gumtree.............this is where the real bargains are to be had http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Blue-used-HOLY-Undies-Still-has-many-years-left-/320733047765?pt=Men_s_Clothing&hash=item4aad2debd5
  7. BritChickx

    Funny Stories

    I'm sure some of you have a few, plus a lot more! I'm in need of a laugh and inspiration today and would love it if any of you had any funny stories to share about travelling/moving/living in Aus soon I shall be sharing my own! :cute:
  8. Guest

    Something Funny, 'Maybe'.

    Just heard this on the radio, and I quote: York Is The Best Place To Live In The UK............ According To The People Who WANT To Live there'. :yes::biglaugh: Made me giggle, I know boring, but tis still a little funny. There's a message in there,:cool: Cheers Tony.:wink:
  9. http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/wpix-man-robs-bank-health-care,0,4161298.story
  10. Guest

    Funny Animal video

    Now i thought this was hilarious, But I do have a warped sense of humor. http://windowssecrets.com/wacky-web-week/allen-allen-al-8230-its-not-alan-8230-steve/
  11. Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ___________________________________________ A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.' ___________________________________________ 'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.' ___________________________________________ A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.' ___________________________________________ An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.' ___________________________________________ Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: 1. The DNA all matches. 2. There are no dental records. ___________________________________________ A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up. ___________________________________________ Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. 'How was he killed?' asked one detective. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied. 'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?' 'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.' ___________________________________________ Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.' ___________________________________________ A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse. 'Oops!' ___________________________________________ While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all- in-one?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care. ___________________________________________ The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'
  12. Smirfyduo

    Funny or Freaky

    So, if you went into hospital for a minor operation, and a few days later, when you removed the dressing to clean it, you found a smiley face pulling a tongue :tongue: (with the smile being the incision) - would you find it funny or freaky????? :biglaugh: :shocked:
  13. Parley

    Funny Animal Voiceovers

    These videos are very funny.
  14. Guest

    Funny Innit?

    How anyone who disagrees with some on the MBTTUK forum, are somehow ganging up and bullying? :goofy: Some folk who love Oz are constantly slated and berated, and accused of wearing "rose tinted specs" by individuals (of course they're not a clique, bullying, or ganging up) :confused: just because they have a different opinion. Of course..............they're not being "ganged up on" or bullied, or are they? I've never yet seen anyone from the "sun, sea, and surf gang" complain about bullying, it always comes from the MBTTUK. Does that indicate that only those who love Oz are bullies and the detractors totally innocent? For fecks sake! :arghh: Let's get some perspective :arghh: Just because more than one person disagrees with you, doesn't mean that you are being bullied. just because you love Oz doesn't mean that you shouldn't post on MBTTUK. Likewise, just because you are moving back, doesn't mean that you don't have a (hopefully) valuable contribution to make in other forums. Whether you love the uk, hate Oz, hate oz, love the uk, or could happily exist in either place, you have an opinion, and that is all it is, an opinion, unless you support it with facts. Opinions are likely to be questioned, and if they're questioned by more than one person, you are not being bullied or ganged up on. For fecks sake, guilty party(ies), stop bleating foul every time someone disagrees with you! :arghh:
  15. fourcorners

    It's a funny old world...

    Hi, I'm sort of new here, used this forum a few years ago but haven't had to for while! We lived in WA (Kalgoorlie) for 18 months until April 2008 when we moved to Canada as my other half had secured a Phd there (British Columbia). Unfortunately that didn't work out and in December the same year we moved back to England. We lived with my mum whilst we found jobs which at times was very hard, but eventually I got a good job in Cornwall and we bought a house here in June last year. Andy got a job with an offshore drilling company and ironically is now working in Australia! He's working 6 weeks on 3 weeks off (with travel on his own time), so given the jetlag and travel he only really gets 2 weeks at home. And to make things worse he's found out he is being paid less than the cleaners at camp in Oz! So we're now in the predicament of deciding whether to move back to Australia permanently. I am a geologist and whilst I've got a fairly good job here (by UK standards for geos), I know I could earn 2-3 times more in Australia. So from a financial and spending time together point of view it makes no sense to stay here. I accept that it's the nature of both our jobs that we spend time apart, and we have a lot since graduating, but this is really getting silly. I like my cottage in Cornwall but it feels very lonely most of the time. I know if we moved to Oz permanently we would have no problem finding jobs (Andy would more than likely quit his current position as he'd like to get back into mining), and probably no problem finding a company to sponsor us for permanent residency (but go down the 457 route first) and relocation costs. I think we would keep our house here, and rent it out, I'm not too worried about having to sell that, which is good. I guess we've been coming to the conclusion that we can't stay in Cornwall if the price is too high (i.e. our relationship). As wonderful as it is living here, it's not really a life if we only see each other 2.5 weeks out of every 9. It's what we moved back to the UK to avoid! When we lived in Kal before yes we did get fed up of the heat, and lack of greenery and topography (Andy was into his climbing back then so used to get pretty frustrated), and distance to the sea. I'm not sure yet whether we would go back to Kal but it does give one of the best opportunities for us in terms of jobs and both going home every night (I regret that I sometimes took this for granted when we lived there before). So, I suppose I'm wondering if anyone else has been in a similar position. At the end of the day, our travels have taught us that the world isn't so big, and relocating doesn't scare us as we've already done 3 big moves in the past. Any thoughts?
  16. Guest

    How funny is this.

    Made me laugh out loud.:cute: bloke ripping up his bill that has come through the post. <iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RP4abiHdQpc" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" width="640"></iframe>
  17. This IS not an Aussie versus UK thread, it is meant to give us a laugh, a giggle if at all possible. We all know that very often we have experiences with Aussies (especially when we first arrive) that can seem confusing and funny. Whether it is the language, products or maybe the wildlife. My worst experience was around ten years ago, I was travelling around Australia relocating camper vans for a large outfit, it was cheap, and gave myself and then good lady :wubclub: the opportunity to see Australia on a limited budget, great way of doing things. Anyhow, it was approaching the early morning hours and I had been driving for around 12 hours, by the time I had dodged the Roo's etc, I was knackered, we were about 30 K's north of Newcastle, our next planned stop, but all in all we were both kanackerd so decided to call it a day and park up in a drivers rest area, (even though it didn't allow over night camping,:shocked::policeman:). Anyhow, we had by this time got totally peed of with using the o board shower, it was way too small and rarely did it feel as though it really freshened us up. So in our foolhardiness we decided to use the on site shower facilities, :idea::no::no::biglaugh:. The 'shower' block looked as if it had seen better days, falling to pieces in actual fact, but nonetheless we decided to give it a go. No lights in the block, but at least it had water. As we entered the block we realised soon enough that it was less than luxurious, but we bit the bullet and went for it. My other half at this time had gone very quiet, I thought best to leave it as I didn't want to make the situation even worse. So there I am, stark bullock naked, shivering, but looking forward to the shower. As I reached for the tap it was covered in slime, but still turned. However, it was COLD water, really cold. It was pitch black in there, but for the occasional glint of moonlight it was very dark. As the cold water began to cover me, well, dribble over me, I could see the occasional glistening black shadow of several roaches, after a while the walls looked like christmas lights, all flashing intermittently with the glistening backs of roaches. As I scrubbed more and more ferociously, the other 'inhabitants' of the shower began to KICK OFF,:biglaugh:. At one point I remember looking down at my feet and just being able to make out the outline of several large roaches intent on investigating every part of my anatomy. This was followed by the unmistakable hiss of some kind of snake coming from a corner of the shower, by this time I was trying to get out of the shower quicker than a guest in the Bates Motel in Hitchcocks Psycho. As 'things' started to fall on my head I had enough, I was out of there sharpish. As I made my way out of the block I made my way toe=ward the camper van. My better half had been very quiet indeed, so I was a little perplexed as to how she was coping. As I opened the door I shouldn't have worried, their she was sitting on the bed, several beer bottles around her feet, one in hand, as white as a sheet, and all she said to me was 'Leave me alone',:embarrassed::biglaugh::wubclub:. I thought this was the best path to take, so ever so quietly I made myself a cuppa and retired to the OPPOSITE bed,:biglaugh:. We woke I the morning, looked at each other, and said, 'What the hell went on there'. We decided at this time to go and investigate the Block in daylight. What lay before us was an arachnid, roaches, snake worst nightmare. There were literally hundreds of roaches, spiders of different sizes and colours and indeed a rather large python curled around the overhead pipe work. It was an experience, that is all I can say, but know I can look back at it with fond memories, well nearly anyway. I could go on, and tell you about the time I was with the ex good lady at Mission Beach. We had way too much to drink, and the 'romance' of the place overtook us. We were in the middle of a romantic 'interlude' on the BEACH, when up rocks a security guard asking us to move on as they were filming a local movie there. No matter what we said, and the realisation that we were drunk he insisted that we move the camper van NOW, how he kept a straight face whilst I and the good lady tried our best to cover up our 'insecurities' I don't know. I refused as I didn't want to take the van on the main roads, so we came to a compromise, I moved it about one hundred yards down the beach out of sight of the cameras,:biglaugh:. There must be others out there, so come on. Cheers Tony.:wink:
  18. gaz n family

    Funny Fosters Advert

    Just seen the new Fosters Advert. OMG how funny. For those who have not, nor cannot see it, here it is YouTube - Good Call! Foster's TV Ad Suncream ft Brad & Dan OMFG Budgie Smugglers???? never heard that before, ROTFLMBFAO
  19. Guest

    Funny Article

    An ode to the end of Aussie macho | The Daily Telegraph
  20. Guest

    funny world

    It's kinda funny when your in the uk waiting for your visa to get to oz you look on here for support and like minded people.....all excited to go and live in oz..... then some get here decide it's not for them and go back on here looking for support and like minded people wanting to return to the uk....all down and depressed..:cute:
  21. Guest

    A Funny Politician. Honest.

    Was down my local town today just doing a bit of shopping as you do, and not surprisingly some of our local candidates for the forthcoming general election were out and about doing the wavy, shaky, ohhh can I hold your baby please' routine, all bollocks I know. But at the moment our local college is canvasing for a cycle lane to be installed as several dozen students go to and fro on push bikes, and recently there has been some accidents involving traffic and cycles. So there I am with the better half, watching as one of the candidates to show that he is in touch with the people decides to hop on a push bike and get a photo opportunity outside the college main gates. As he pushes off, one of the cameraman says to him, 'Where's your helmet'. Without a seconds pause or thought the candidate immediately says very loudly and abruptly, 'Behind the ****ing camera'.:shocked::biglaugh: He had obviously had enough of the journalists in question, and you could tell the moment he said it he regretted it. It was met with rather sheepish laughter from those assembled, some in agreement and some in contempt, but it was bloody funny. I would vote for him purely on this basis, but I reckon once his comments are plastered across our local papers next week he may have to join the thousands who are presently signing on down the street. So in essence, some politicians do have a sense of humour, just a shame that they can't seem to run a country properly. Cheers Tony
  22. Guest

    Old but still funny

    These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) __________________________________________________ > Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). > > A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ > > Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) > A:Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ > > Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden) > > A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ > > Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK) > A: What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ > > Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) > A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . > Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not > ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ > > Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA ) > > A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ > > Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) > A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ > > Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA ) > A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is > Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ > > Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) > A: You are a British politician, right? __________________________________________________ > > Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) > A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. > Milk is illegal. __________________________________________________ > > Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA ) > A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. > All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. __________________________________________________ > > Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA ) > > A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. > You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. __________________________________________________ > > Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA) > A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. __________________________________________________ > Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France ) > > A: Only at Christmas. __________________________________________________ > > Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA ) > > A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
  23. Joke of the Day - Tourism Australia Responds to Stupid Questions I cant say for sure that these are real responses to tourist questions, but they are amusing. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, but take lots of water... Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? A: No. What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? A: Africa is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Australia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. Q: Which direction is north in Australia? A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? A: Austria is that quaint little country bordering Germany, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? A: No, we don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? A: You are a British politician, right? Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? A: Only at Christmas. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. A: Rattlesnakes live in America which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
  24. Hi All, just hoping for a bit of advice from those who have been there, done that.... we're looking to move to Australia is about a year and hopefully purchase a home out there. Was wondering whether it would be worthwhile paying $5 a month to set up an Australian bank account now and dripfeed money into it (when the rate is good!) to get a semblance of a credit history sooner rather than later. I know some banks base their decision-making for loans on employment and salary etc. so not sure whether it would be worthwhile? Thanks!!