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  1. In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle. Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T) Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T). Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T) Those who are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T) If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T) Thank you, Boss in General (B.I.G S.H.I.T) Made me laugh. May be an old one, but I've not seen it before.
  2. Guest

    Cheek Of The Devil

    Hi Everyone, I just wanted to let of a little bit of steam this morning, so i hope you don't mind!:arghh: My sister came over yesterday, apparently she bumped into my ex's mum, she started moaning at my Sis about us going to Australia. Baring in mind I have not seen or heard from her for over 4 years, I think she has the Cheek Of The Devil:cry:, because she said "don't I get a say in it?" How dare she? My children have only faint memories of her, I don't think they would know her if she passed them in the street. I did try to keep in touch at first but when the phone calls were all one sided and the children didn't get so much as a Birthday card, I thought sod it. Sorry about that rant, but I needed it....lol April
  3. Helz980

    Get this for cheek!

    Hey all Aint been on the site for a while - busy working! However that also means that I havent even started our other forms - bad Helz....:nah: Anyhoo, last friday we recieved a letter from Oz (some of you may remember that OH had his appendix out when we were in Oz in April) anyway this was a letter threatening us with debt collectors as we hadnt responded to any letters etc (we hadnt recieved any!) for payment for OH's operation for over $1,000, I freaked saying we didnt have to pay etc etc. because of the reciprocal agreement our countries have and thats what we were told at the time. So last night we scoured the tinternet found the correct regulations and stayed up til 2am to ring oz. THEY nearly died when OH started saying he was a British Citizen etc etc we dont have to pay anything due to the agreement, it was a disturbing letter etc, they wanted us to call back but we stayed on the line and phew its sorted - the debt has been wiped. I was so happy as i was worried that this coulda been a black mark against our names...... Sorry for the ramble!! PS: I also cried on sat night after we lost the rugby, straight into my pint of genius...
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