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Fergie

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  1. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    I think it’s hard when one wants to stay and one wants to go, I never really wanted to come to Australia, was not overly interested in even coming here for a holiday, but hubby wanted to. When the shine faded and I started getting homesick I think hubby thought it’d pass and think he umm’d and arr’d at the right times, but fast forward 13 yrs and I’m still desperate to go back. He’s happy to go back now to, he’s seen me so low, and also we’ve been living in limbo, that’s no life. Even things like buying a new car, home improvements, is it worth getting finance because we may not be here that long, my mind set is awful to in that I won’t buy even little things for the home as I’m uninterested and I think I’ll wait till I get back to Uk, so it’s like everything is on hold. To be honest if my hubby wasn’t prepared to compromise and give Uk a go, I think it would cause issues in our marriage, especially as I’ve given Australia 15 years of my life and 13+ of those have been trying to say the least. I really don’t want to be one of those old ladies with regret as I get older for not giving it ago.
  2. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    I feel for you chortlepuss, it’s awful when your choices seem taken away, in many ways it makes it feel far worse. Since my kids are older and I can see light at the end of the tunnel and I feel less anxious. But you never know what’s waiting in the future, I was talking to a lovely older English lady end of last year, we got chatting about England as you do( I do anyway lol) and she was moving to Scotland to be closer to her grandkids (they live in America!! Yes America) she was homesick for the Uk and had been for many years, but it was never the right time before, she was in her middle 70’s! She worked in a little chocolate shop near where I live, so I popped in to ask the new owner if she’d heard from her and she’s happy and loves it. Lots of people move back later in life to.
  3. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    Hi Gary H dont know how you manage in Cairns, it’s hot enough down here on the Gold Coast. if you are thinking of relocating to south qld, and Uk not an option, look at mount tamborine on the Gold Coast hinterland, it’s beautiful, 5-7 degrees cooler than Brisbane always, has a sort of winter (certainly for qld standards) , great coffee shops, community etc, might be an option if Uk unattainable at the moment. Think there are quite a few people biding their time till they can get back because of covid. Good luck in whatever you decide to do
  4. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    Hi proud preston i agree you do need to look after yourself, but when children are in the mix it’s excruciatingly painful and difficult. It would of been a no brainer if I didn’t have kids. I’d of gone back years ago. Have you been back on holiday? Does your hubby know the extent of your feeling? I was thinking yesterday, we all deserve to live our best life. At my lowest point I used to envy people who were happy and people who were settled and optimistic about doing jobs on their homes, just happy, as I felt so sad inside. So I know exactly what you mean about being envious of people who have stayed in the same village all their lives, I’ve thought the same myself. As the kids get older maybe your options will broaden to, we all deserve to live the life we want and be happy
  5. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    Hi ramot that’s very true, financially we’d take a hit if we ping ponged back and the Uk didn’t work out. I’ll be surprised if that would be the case, but you don’t know till you try, but at least then you can hopefully put it behind you and move on. I talk to a lot of people( I work in medical) and I’m amazed at how many Brits are unsettled to some degree here, if we chat about Uk, and the question comes up “would you consider going back” not many say never! It’s money, kids, to old etc and that’s quite sad really I think.
  6. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    I agree quoll, the stories I’ve heard over the years of parents either moving to be near adult kids or staying to be near and fast forward a few years they’ve moved away because of work etc. we will go back, just a question of when. My kids are ok with it, it’s just me feeling guilty, I have to get a grip lol
  7. Fergie

    Moving To Cheshire

    Hi LincolnH I did wonder if you went back given present circumstances, pretty awful for everyone over there at the mo. I’ve been here 15 years this April, but knew after 12-18 months it wasn’t for me. So I’ve struggled for a long time( hubby’s job, then 3 kids in school, in turn them all coming up to year 11-12) but my youngest is 19 now and there’s light at the end of the tunnel. chester is a lovely little city, it’s actually the most Roman city in the Uk now apparently! The villages I mentioned above are about 20 mins into the city at most. There are lots of lovely pubs all around the area, walks and people are nice and friendly. I’m on a few of the community pages , so I see what goes on and get an insight to what it’s like and it’s very encouraging, people helpful, community stuff going on, quite lovely really. If you need any more information on the area, let me know, as I know it quite well
  8. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    Hi scousers I know you are right and that would be my advice to, it’s just so hard when it’s your kids. We will go back over the coming years, I know it will be hard initially, but I’m hoping things will settle down in my head and I can lose the guilt for leaving. I think sometimes it’s the agony of making the decision and not being able to do anything for years because of circumstances that sends you mad , round in circles and second guessing yourself
  9. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    Hi chortlepuss it is truly awful to feel this way, and I 100% get what you mean about feeling normal back in the Uk. I have been to counseling about 3 times over the years, the first 2 did nothing except enabled me to get it all off my chest and I cried the whole time. The 3rd bloke was better, he was more about CBT and it helped abit , I’m no expert but you sound like you have situational anxiety, which I believe I have to. How old are your kids? Have you talked it over with your hubby?
  10. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    Oops sorry! I’m new to this, apologies
  11. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    Hi marisawright don’t think I’ve implied anyone else feels anything, I’ve only expressed how I feel. There are many reasons people move to different countries. I would suggest you re-read my posts.
  12. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    Hi Maryrose02 ive thought of all those scenarios, but I’m thinking unless I give it a go I’ll never know. Have you no preference to Uk or Australia? Being back in Uk what are the things you loved or hated that you’d forgotten about while living in Oz? I actually live about an hours drive from my oldest 2, (they live closer to Brisbane) I live on mount tamborine ( you will know the mountain if you live in surfers) as it’s cooler, I hate the humidity and intense heat down there, lol. So it’s not just a pop down the road, it’s always a pre arranged visit either way. Doesn’t stop us seeing each other a couple of times a month. It’s beautiful up here, but with the Uk it’s a longing I just can’t get away from, it’s scary because it’s been going on so long, about 13 years actually, I’m concerned in my head the Uk is the answer to everything and Australia the reason for everything, if that makes sense. When you’ve struggled with something for so long, in the end you go round in circles, should we, shouldn’t we, what if’s, will we love it/ hate it. The kids, the NHS when we get old, what happens when we are to old to travel, what if we don’t go back and I regret it as I get older and leave it to late. It’s all swirling round in my head everyday for over a decade. Hence the anxiety etc .
  13. Fergie

    Moving To Cheshire

    Hi LincolnH i only just joined the site and read your post, did you move to Cheshire and where did you settle? Have you settled? that’s my home area and we are looking at moving back in the next few years. There are some beautiful villages around Chester, bunbury, tattenhall, tarporley, just to mention a few( depending on budget obviously. I’d love to hear from you
  14. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    Hi Quoll I've read your posts in the past with interest and hope. I knew exactly what you meant when you said things like being me again. How are you managing being back in Oz? I guess it may feel new again for a short while, but I’m interested to hear how you feel now being back for 10 months or so. Are you feeling bad again ? Is it totally out of the question you going back permanently? Being back for 10 years is a long time, it sounds like you loved it, must of been a wrench coming back
  15. Fergie

    Thinking of moving back to Uk

    Thank you, reading on this forum has helped over the years just knowing I’m not the only one feeling like this
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