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Cobs_Ahoy

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About Cobs_Ahoy

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  1. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    Yes that was my thoughts about whether it’s better just to get the kids back asap @Marisawright but now I’m less panicky, I’m learning more towards giving them a proper ‘experience’ of what it’s like to live abroad, so that if/when we return to the U.K. it’s something that has been positive for them and they can look back on it fondly. I was so worried about extracting my 7yo from friends/family in the U.K. but it went far better than expected and if anything has really helped her confidence, hopefully a return to the U.K. would be similar. I think one year would be ok, friendships in the U.K. can be maintained without too much drifting, 2 years probably is a bit too long at that age. you are absolutely right about our ‘give it a try’ mentality, Australia hasn’t been a lifelong goal/dream, it was simply an opportunity that presented itself due to the pandemic, and at that point we were feeling frustrated/trapped with our circumstances in the U.K. if we do return to the U.K., it will be with a renewed sense of purpose and a better awareness of what we need to do to improve our lives there, and hopefully with a lot off happy memories of a great adventure living abroad for a year (or so). Im also finding that my clinical placement isn’t helping - I’m working with adults who are post-retirement age and it’s giving me some serious guilt about leaving my aging mum alone in the U.K! I wouldn’t have described myself as someone who was particularly close to family, but the thought of my mum needing care/being in hospital and me being in Australia is tormenting me!!!!
  2. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    That’s actually really helpful @DevilsAdvocate as that feeling of being overwhelmed describes it exactly, and that’s something that I’m not used to feeling. It made me feel panicky because when you have children it’s scary to feel like you lack the skills/knowledge to manage if there was a crisis, particularly as you don’t have the safety net of friends/family around you.
  3. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    Thanks for sharing that @Quoll and I’m sorry to hear that the unhappiness with being in Australia is becoming more prominent for you. What you said about not wanting to grow old/die here and returning ‘home’ while you still can really resonates, and I think that is what’s driving my thoughts at the moment.
  4. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    I can see where you’re coming from @DevilsAdvocate and agree with giving it a try, but we will need to make a decision that balances ‘giving it a shot’ and the well-being of our family as a whole. I guess it’s this balance that will determine how long is long enough. For me, I would set it at a year - long enough to feel a bit more competent in navigating social and systemic idiosyncrasies+ long enough that we can say we got a real sense of whether we would ever feel at home, balanced against returning to the U.K. without it causing significant distress to the kids. A year also given enough time to address things that are causing issues (eg I work/rentals etc). However, that’s only my personal way of approaching things. My husband is struggling more than me, and he has said a year feels like a lifetime. My marriage and our family unit is more important than making this work, so I’m not going to enforce any arbitrary timescales. I have found that things have improved for me since I started this thread, but the home sickness is still there. I no longer have the desperate panicky feeling and think I would genuinely enjoy being here for a few years while I see how things go.
  5. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    Thanks to everyone for chipping in with their experiences. @Constance ausvisitor is right about paperwork documentation, you will need lots, but once you’ve got it all together and completed your profile on the app the agents use it’s fairly easy to apply, which means you can fire off multiple applications quickly once you get going. the only point I would raise is that I have found we weren’t getting a look-in due to a lack of rental history in aus and no wage slips from my employer. I had letters from U.K. mortgage prover showings no missed payments, references from previous and current employer stating salary, bank balance showing decent proceeds from U.K. house sale. But because we alerts looking before I had started my job, I didn’t have the wage slips, and because we were new to the country I didn’t have a rental history. we were offering 6months upfront, lots of references, decent bank balance, PR visa, police checks with no criminal history, evidence of permanent full time employment with a government department (so very secure). However, the southern end of the Gold Coast where we are looking has some of the lowest numbers of available rentals, and this was exacerbated by the time of year (summer hols, so everyone short lets their properties for double the price as holiday rentals). we have managed to find a 3 month let via gumtree, this allowed us to bypass the fairly rigid assessments of estate agents which required wage slips and rental history. This is risky as you could be ripped off, but the landlord was off travelling for 3months and his grandkids go to the school we enrolled my daughter in, so we felt relatively reassured we’d be ok. We are also paying double what we budgeted (and our budgeting wasn’t stingy!), however the house we’ve got is amazing in terms of size, location, and it’s fully furnished. So we are sucking up the cost and taking the attitude of having a great summer, while knowing that by the end of the three months we will have a rental history, a reference from an Australian landlord, and I’ll have some wage slips by then. it’s been much harder, much more time consuming, much more expensive, and much more stressful than I expected. But lots of that is due to our individual circumstances, so is not necessarily going to be the case for you. Do t get bogged down in other people’s horror stories, but definitely get as much paperwork as possible ready!
  6. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    Interestingly one of the things I was most looking forward to was escaping the burden of seeing family at Christmas!!! But Christmas back home seems very appealing right now, probably because I am in a really depressing hotel and the management made us take the Christmas lights down that we put on the balcony!
  7. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    You’re spot on @Jon the Hat about waiting for the kids to find their feet, it’s awful watching them cry and I think that’s feeding into my worries. Actually my 7yo seemed to make a good start, but I know she is finding the change hard and missing her old school/friends/family.
  8. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    Thank you for sharing that @ramot I have seen your other posts and know how settled you are here, so it helps to know that even you had a rocky start! The motel comment has really struck a chord, we are currently in a bleak hotel and it’s definitely having an effect. Much like @Marisawright ‘s point, when we get out and go to the beach/parks etc I find the anxiety subsiding. The bit of Australia that appealed still do seem wonderful, they are just overshadowed with stress and home sickness at the minute.
  9. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    I was committed to the move, but on reflection it was a commitment to something totally unknown, so in some degree it was hypothetical! I guess like lots of parents with young children, we took a chance on seeing whether life out here would be a better fit for us than in the U.K. But as someone who wouldn’t describe themselves as dependent on family/needing lots of support from friends, I perhaps underestimated how intense home sickness can be. I think my ambivalence stems from whether my homesickness is likely to subside once some of the initial stressors have been addressed (eg rental and job). But I appreciate no one can answer this!
  10. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    That does sounds really stressful, now I see you had a flare up of shingles!
  11. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    Yes 4 years feels like an eternity right now!
  12. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    Yes I think you are right, i do struggle to go with the flow and have a tendency towards ‘fixing’ things. Cant imagine us being here until secondary school though to be honest!
  13. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for taking the time to reply, it really helps to hear from others.
  14. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    Thank you for sharing that, I can empathise with the shingles comment as I’m worried I’m coming down with it at the min as a result of stress! Can I ask how long you remained in Oz and what made you decide to head back to the U.K.?
  15. Cobs_Ahoy

    Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

    Yes I probably would be happier if we were closer to my sister, but greater Melbourne doesn’t really hold any attraction for me, and also might cause visa issues as I have committed to working in QLD for 2 years. thanks for sharing the story of your friends who returned, it’s helpful to hear about people who have returned and not regretted it along with stories of those who stuck it out. The comment about making changes back ‘home’ really resonates.
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