thanks for your input, we intend to validate our visa on a holiday in November anyway and wont move for 12/18months (at the moment they are nearly 15 and 16)due to the girls sitting exams and a personal reason.
so they will have the visa validated before we make the big move anyway, i just don't want to leave them behind and for me that's not really an option, i think i will be ok-ish if they decide to come back after x amount of time and decide its not for them, however am i supposed to bring them kicking and screaming either.
when we lived in oz before they were gutted when we had to go home, i am probably over optimistic they will love it, it has been our dream for so long, 5 years ago this would have been so much easier.