Ribbon Katie

Hi there, So I came to Australia five years ago, my marriage broke down and my former husband remarried in England in December. I gave him permission to go to England(he lives here in Perth but wanted to be to get married in the UK), the children (four) were gone for four weeks. I have a holiday booked to America and need to get visas. My husband won't give me the passports as he wants half the costs. Doing a quick Google search, I can see that a replacement child passport is 49 pounds ($91) and an adult 85 pounds. He demands I pay $350 each for each of the passports (188 - pounds) so total $1400 as I also have to contribute 50% to postage and extending pr costs as well. He claims each one was $700 hence for each child I need to contribute $350 (50% of total costs). I'll point out here that he took the passports from my house without authorisation and I have since become a Citizen, but couldn't get my kids Citizenship as he took the passports from me without consultation. I went to see a solicitor today and she said in order to start the ball rolling to get the passports back she'd like $1100. What would you do? Should I go back and say I am not contributing to postage, pr and photos and I'll just pay the $91 for each passport. Should I go with the solicitor or should I just offer a set fee or offer what he is asking. I have been racking my brain for hours over this, so any advice appreciated. Also knowing my former husband for 22 years, even if I hand over the money, there is the likelihood he may not actually give them to me. The solicitor says for that fee she'd write him a strongly worded letter and follow it up.....claiming that they would pursue half the cost of the holiday if he didn't give them back Please help..... Cheers, Katie

Okay, last time I posted on here was 11 months ago and I was feeling unsettled ....unfortunately I still am. We have faced a few problems over the past twelve months (our house severely damaged by tenant in England, cancer diagnosis with close relative in UK) I have never felt settled here but I am the only one who doesn't want to stay. It has led to a rather strained relationship with hubby and is now at breaking point. I've struggled to find work and the two jobs I've had since arriving in September 2013, I've been on contract and they've both come to an end. I was in my last job in the Uk for 17 years and felt valued in my role at work. I had lots of friends in the Uk and was happy but we left because husband couldn't find employment during the recession. Now everything has reversed. Here in Oz my husband has been thriving at work and although he is incredibly busy, seems to enjoy it. He also plays hard and goes to lots of men only corporate events with his work, so has a very busy social life and we don't seem to be doing much as a family or couple any more. All our four children love it here and don't want to go back to the Uk and the oldest is now 14. But I just feel so unhappy, I haven't made many friends, find everything expensive, struggle with not being able to pick up permanent work and because of this I feel we're always on a tight budget, need to watch our pennies and can't afford much in the way of leisure activities. Anyway things between me and husband have been so strained that we have discussed separating. Problem is I couldn't afford to stay here and the kids won't go back to England, and I couldn't bear to be apart from the children. We keep going around in circles and we're not getting anywhere. But yesterday husband and I made a breakthrough in that he agreed to see a Relationship Counsellor to try to work through our problems, I had been badgering him to go but he was adamant he wouldn't go, so feel pleased that he has now agreed for us to go as a couple. I rang up Relationships WA and discovered a 50 minute session would be $170.....which wasn't the price I was expecting. Has anyone else felt like this and that the move to Oz created cracks with their relationship and have sought counselling. If so where did you go (apart from Realtionships WA) and was it beneficial? Would really appreciate some help as we are just not moving forward. Feel stuck... Thank you in advance Ribbon

Thanks for all your replies, which I have read, it is good to have a sounding board. Most of you have suggested a break home won't be a bad thing, although WolvesAussie I take on board your comments, I don't fancy returning and feeling down again. I still have a few weeks in which to make a decision. Thanks once again. Thanks Ribbon

Feeling for you as I am in a similar sort of position - only arrived in Oz in September and not feeling very settled and have ended up with full time job, which wasn't the plan as we have children and wanted to work part time. Everyone loves it here except me and oh yes my widowed father who is 84 tells me everytime I skype that 'Life's not the same now you've gone'. A mother's guilt/daughter's guilt never leaves us! Don't make any hasty decisions.....just yet ....and try not to let your dilemma overtake your lives.

Hi there I am new to this forum and was wondering if anyone had any advice and had been in a similar situation. Have been here in Oz for 8 months with husband and children. Living in Perth. Husband very settled, children very settled. Me (mum) not very settled....... Totally underestimated the value of strong friendships. I had many friends in Blighty as I'd lived in the same place for 16 years and was a bit of a social butterfly. Because my children are older there are no toddler groups etc to go too and they walk to school on their own so not a lot of opportunity to meet new people, plus I am working full time. Realise I have to give Oz longer as 8 months is far too short to make any rash decisions. The problem is I have a return flight back to the Uk soon (This is the return part after we decided to get a return ticket when we left UK last year). We were all going to go home as a family but we knew we would have needed to have booked one way tickets to then get back to Oz. The price of tickets have soared and we can't find any cheap one way fares for less than £1,1150. Husband and children weren't that bothered about going back so have decided to forget about trip and forfeit tickets. He says I should go back as I am so unsettled. But is this a good idea? Will it make me more unsettled? I'd obviously love to go back dearly to see friends and my widowed Father, but will it set me back? The other issue is that I feel I'd be neglecting my kids if I went back as I'd be going over school holidays in July. I can't change the date of the trip as I am working full time and I lodged the leave a while back and this would be difficult to change. So it would mean I'd be going back while the kids are off school. Hubby says he would take four days off to spend some time with them, but I am worried they'll be at a loose end during the two week hols when he is working. So should I go home to Britain for the two and a half weeks, which I'd like too, but have the possible risk of feeling more unsettled and miserable on my return or should I abandon the idea and stay put and enjoy some time off work with my kids in the hols? Any advice appreciated Cheers:wub: Ribbon