Melbkitty

Who spends all their time in the suburb they reside in? By all accounts the village I grew up in in the UK was boring for a kid and eventually teenager. Wow the life you've described sounds completely boring but I literally don't know anyone in Aus who has that lifestyle, even people who live a good hour out from Melbourne. What a bizarre argument!

It's hard to say! The supporting docs could have really helped there but who knows - I'm sure they would use the same logic though if you'd had the medical and just waiting due to processing times. I was all set to have the X-ray and had researched it greatly - there really is no risk and I can't remember why I decided against it, my parents were here at the time and my Mum probably talked me out of it knowing her...

Hi there - I had my baby in March 2014, had the X-ray/medical immediately after and my PR was finalised/granted in May 2014. I applied for the PPL at that point (you have 12 months from birth of baby) and it was granted, even though I didn't have PR at time of birth. I sent in supporting docs to Centrelink from my GP & immi stating that the X-ray was not recommended and it wasn't questioned. I would just say get it lodged and hope for the best, there's not much else you can do as Centrelink won't give you any guarantees and the customer service staff don't have knowledge on immi related topics (or even Centrelink issues usually). You could write a supporting letter with your application for PR, not sure if it would help. You'll also be asked to complete the X-ray and medical close to approval and if you're still pregnant you'll have that decision to make also. I would say you'll most likely have the same outcome as me - applying when your PR is granted and baby may be a couple of months old - it is backdated though. You can then apply for family tax benefit a & b and if your partner is on a low income you may get a reasonable amount. You'll also get all the assistance with childcare which from July 2018 is going to be more generous to low-medium income families. Good luck and try not to stress too much like I did towards the end of my pregnancy over this!

I think it's important that your partner is also aware of her rights if she was to move to the UK to have a child. She should be aware that if she misses her parents and Australia, you would need to be fully on board with a move back here. Consider the scenario of you are blissfully happy and she is not - she could feel very stuck indeed and legally/physically with the kids, she would be if you did not agree to a move back. Not everyone is really aware of the Hague Convention and how it works.

Think long and hard about bringing children into the equation at this point. Whilst in love and happy it's hard to conceive that things could ever not be that way - but an international relationship/marriage is hard when you both have different hopes about where to 'settle'. I'm in Melbourne with my Aussie partner and our 3 year old plus another on the way, I've been here for 8 years and no family here, luckily my parents are still able to visit yearly but that won't last forever. His family are in Brisbane and he would move there in a heartbeat - siblings and a new cousin are his drivers (plus the weather). I'm settled in Melbourne with a good friendship network, I get on with his siblings and can see the pull of living in Brisbane however he is closed to moving to the UK so I feel, why should I? Our relationship has suffered because of these issues and the reality is, I'm in Australia indefinitely whether I like it or not. He's worried that moving to the UK may mean him being stuck there if things break down. I'm worried that if we move to Brisbane, I'll be stuck there without support should we separate. A family court could absolutely stop me moving back to Melbourne with the kids. Then there is the question of, do you really want to live in the UK? Really? I'm not sure if I would truly settle there anyway, even with family around. Siblings/cousins all great but life gets busy, personally I'd prioritise a closeness to parents and I agree the woman seems to require the support of her own parents more and vice versa. It sounds like you already have some bitterness towards your fiancés Father in particular (he sounds like my partner's Dad) which would only be harboured more if you moved closer to them. But then life in suburban Melbourne sounds like a bleak prospect to you...personally I still love Melbourne and having kids has only enhanced that. I'd love to be able to say to my partner 'let's do 3 years in each place and see how we feel' but realistically things can change, people change, kids change you and your relationship, and once the kids are 'habitually resident' in a Country, it takes you both to agree moving them, and you may not always agree... I wish I'd listened when people warned me of this very real scenario that affects so many people.

Your last point isn't true - your local MCHN put you in touch with a group of new Mum's when your baby is born. And it's free (unlike the NCT).

Oh dear...something tells me you won't be happy in London either...

Oh and I'm in Melbourne now, much easier transition from UK!

I hated Sydney too and spent my first 3 weeks in Aus there, in the rain, wondering what in earth I'd done! Fast forward 5 years and I couldn't imagine going back to the UK, I'm struggling to get back for a visit as my relatives love coming here so much! Can you call beyond blue as a starting point for a counsellor? Explain your financial situation and ask about community services. And please don't feel so helpless, you can always go back!!! Maybe you should go back and see how you feel, I did that quite soon after arriving in Aus and it helped me to establish that indeed I had outgrown my roots. 3/4k on a credit card has to be worth your sanity and even more depreciation of your emotional health.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3051078/Wild-bluebells-carpet-floor-woods-country-spring-bursts-colour-traditional-April-showers-return-weekend-temperatures-drop-10C.html#comments :twitcy::twitcy:

Oh no sorry to hear that! Well I'm sure you're in very good hands - I ended up with an emergency C/S and could not have asked for better care from the public system. And of course it's all worth it when you finally meet your little one. I'm clucky for my next already yikes! Good luck!!xx

Oh yes my Partner being Aussie would have made us eligible for family tax benefits as minuscule as that amount is!! The PPL however was entirely based on my employment situation and residency status. How long now Blossom or is your baby now here??

Hi I didn't update when granted as I've been busy with a new baby! My 457 transition 186 was granted on May 22 14 and I submitted the app on 22 Dec 13. Nomination approved in March - the rest took longer due to issues with chest X-rey and pregnancy. Good luck everyone!

Hi there i know this had come up a few times so I thought I would share my experience. I became pregnant on a 457 visa and applied for PR whilst pregnant (186) but this was not granted until after my baby was born. I made the decision not to have the X-ray whilst pregnant so the visa couldn't be processed until after delivery. I was advised that I would not be entitled to any Centrelink benefits. However - I put the application in anyway as I thought I could appeal any rejection. I sent supporting info etc letter from immigration saying X-ray in pregnancy is not advised. Anyway, my paid parental leave has been granted. Along with family tax credit! So if anyone is in a similar position and anxious about going the X-ray while pregnant to speed up the process - all is not lost and you may still be able to get the allowances if you decide to wait until after baby is born.

Hi there were you advised in your own immiaccount the nomination had been approved ?

I didn't think you could have indefinite amounts of extended tourist visas. I was looking into it for my parents & I was advised it's not possible!

There you go! Things are moving now

They love the UK they get homesick towards the end of their Aussie trips! I'd like to make more effort to take trips home more regularly when I become a mum. I want my child to to know its English family & heritage!

So sad. They should be carried out as soon as women become sexually active (however young that may be) alongside sexual health tests. It was every 5 years when I was in the UK after 25 - shocking! And here in Vic every 2 years - tracked by the GP who sends out a reminder when it's due.

Very true, and they wouldn't want me to return home just for their sake I know that. My sister lives here too and we both worry as we would want to be there in the case of sickness. Perhaps I'm being selfish in wanting them to be around for as long as possible for my own needs. Thing is I know my mum is terrified of cancer (she's lost many family members early to it) which is why she will never go for screening - because she would rather not know. It just breaks my heart to think of my parents getting sick while their daughters live so far away. But I'm slowly accepting that they are set in their ways and won't be expecting any change.

My parents are visiting at the moment so it was a face-face chat - it's been a long trip so perhaps that pressure is taking its toll too. Plus I hate being around them when they are smoking - they try to be discreet but I don't think they realise how much their life is governed by cigarettes! I've bitten my tongue until now and it was to no avail, but I wanted them to know that it worries us, in the same way they would worry if the tables were turned. My mum worries about our health so much I just don't understand why they do not worry about their own.

Is there a new visa that allows you to do 6 months on/off?!

Thank you for your responses, I think impending motherhood & pregnancy is definitely tugging at my heart strings! I had a chat to them tonight which didn't go down too well as my mum becomes very defensive. I just voiced my concern & tried to be non - confrontational but I expect it will always come across as judgemental & preachy! I'm leaving it there & true they are adults. Would love them to have many years ahead of them and play a big part of my child's life even though we are so far away, but if they don't want to change the unhealthy behaviours what can I do. I guess I do feel sad that we do live on opposite sides of the world & guilty that they can't spend the time with their Grandchild they would like too. But like sometime said there have to be compromises & it was my choice to move out here. Thanks again.

I also met an Aussie man in that time so would have been able to go for defacto but thought the 186 would be quicker - so you never know what will happen

I was in a similar position to you and had redundancy hanging over my head....for 3 years!! Eventually I was moved to another part of the company & now applying for a 186 visa after 4 years with the employer. So for my it was worth hanging in there although it did get really hard & I felt unsettled much of the time. Could you look for another employer to take over your 457? It's hard but not impossible and I had an offer last year but decided to chance it with my current employer so I could go for the. 186. in your situation I would contact an agent. Perhaps your employer could support you with direct entry 186, so you wouldn't need to wait 2 years? Good luck