Jump to content

owensfamily

Members
  • Content Count

    52
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

10 Neutral

About owensfamily

  • Rank
    Member
  • Birthday 29/08/1974
  1. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    To convince someone is not bullying, do lawyers bully a jury into a decision, no they present the facts and let them make their decision, I was looking for advice on how families had approached this, such as getting them involved in the decision making process etc as was constructively suggested by Leah1921. The fact that others have angered you should not have any bearing on my post, if you'd bothered to find out a bit more about my situation then maybe you too could have offered some valuable advice rather than accuse me of being a bully and how unreasonable I am to expect my mum to up sticks and move to the other side of the world which if you read my responses thats not actually what I'm expecting her to do, I'm actually expecting her to listen to my feelings, thoughts and ideas about moving to Australia, the life and opportunities that we would all have, how she could be involved in this adventure with the all the support we could give her, if she doesnt feel she can do that then as I have said several times then we will not go, so if you can't be bothered to read what I'm actually saying in my posts and wish to continue with your negativity feel free, I'll just ignore you. If however you can offer prudent advice based on what I'm asking and to be fair you have suggested some pertinent points I'd be happy to listen
  2. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    Quoll, it must be very hard caring for a parent with dementia and I have every respect for you that you doing that however please do not accuse me of trying to organise my mums life and I take particular offence that you suggest I'm trying to bully her! You know nothing about the relationship between myself and my mum, you know nothing about us as people - I always put my family first so don't you dare accuse me of bullying someone who means so much to me! Also if my kids came to me in 15 years and said they wanted to move to Australia or Timbuk-bleeding-tu, whether I agreed with them or not I would do my upmost to help them achieve that even if it was at my detriment. Bottom line is - we will go if its right for my family as a whole
  3. owensfamily

    Gymnastics and Horse riding

    Hi Cal, appreciate the information. When we were in Sydney then assessed her and put her in the IDP for her age and overall it appeared gymnastics is taken far more professionally than back here in the UK especially for kids that want to do more than just rec gym. I think in Sydney it was working out to be around $700 per term so if the costs are anything like QLD in VIC then I'd be happy, although I did look at some of the comp leotards for Waverley $330!!! and I thought the £65 we paid for the last one here to be expensive. I would love to carry on coaching but it depends on how it works with the employment I get, it works well know as my job is pretty flexible - how do the qualification converted, is it just praticals? or logbooks as well?
  4. owensfamily

    Gymnastics and Horse riding

    We maybe moving to Melbourne in Jan next year and I've been looking at activities for our two daughters, Ella is a 8 year old keen gymnast who currently trains 14 hours a week and competes at Regional level, Jess is a 10 year old who adores horse riding which she does at least once a week. When we validated our visa's almost two years ago, we went to Sydney, Ella went to gymnastics for the three weeks we were in Sydney and the facilities were amazing. Jess went horse riding too and again great facilities. We loved Sydney but are looking at Melbourne as it seems more affordable and I think the climate would suit better. So gymnastics first - what are the best clubs - not just facilities but how the club is run, coaching (I'm actually a qualified Gym coach too), costs? I've looked at Waverley and they look really good does anybody have any kids there? Horse riding - Valley Park Riding - anybody use them or other options in Melbourne? Again feedback if you have used them would be great
  5. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    LOL...I'm the husband but my wife is of the same opinion as me, living in Australia is something she'd like to experience but its not the end of the world if we don't go, she certainly doesn't think we should leave without my mum agreeing that she would come and visit. However we both agree we'd probably regret not taking the opportunity buy that's life sometimes it doesn't work out as you want.
  6. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    Thanks, that's good to know. It would certainly be something we would do, perhaps not every year but at least every other.
  7. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    I'm sure that would happen but we would both be working so holidays are restricted around that, for when we are apart my mum does have an iPad (which initially she didnt want, said she'd never be able to use and was a waste of money - she now uses it everyday playing scrabble, surfing the net, face timing her granddaughters) so we also have that means of communication when we are apart.
  8. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    Thanks Howard, I think that is definitely an option although I'd make sure mum was in Business, part of her issue is the practicalities about finding her gate, the transfer etc... If she flew with us then they go away, the alternative being engaging the airport or who you are flying to provide assistance or another option would be to fly out with my wife's parents who are much younger
  9. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    I'm sure all of you have responded with statements around my mum is too old, should you really be making her do this, etc... are just trying to be realistic and offer genuine advice about the issues but there appears a real agenda of negativity from some. I'm simply looking for others who have had similar experiences with their parent(s) and how they approached/ resolved or didnt resolve the issue of them not wanting to come and visit, maybe if I hadn't mentioned her age I would have received a response to my OP rather than a list of reasons why I shouldn't be trying to "persuade" her because she is too old. I appreciate she is getting on in life, I appreciate the journey is not the greatest, I appreciate the difficulties if events back in England result in having to fly back - my father died suddenly when I was 25, I was on holiday in Ibiza at the time and it wasn't fun and it took me two days before the insurance could find me a flight home and that was only Ibiza! However one thing life has taught me is make the best of what you have, if we go to Australia it will only be with the support of my mum and fact that she will visit, if we don't go I have a great life in the UK and long may it continue - I personally think if you go to Australia in the hope all your problems will be solved your setting yourself up for a shock, as I said in and earlier post its an opportunity, an adventure and something we'd like to try
  10. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    Bungo, a lot of what I wrote was in response to Quoll - I also addressed it to you as you had quite rightly mentioned travelling Business maybe more suitable, however your final paragraph in your response above is quite frankly unnecessary and inflammatory - my mother is more than capable of making up her mind, I'm not guilty about leaving her because as I've stated several times Australia or any location is not as important to me as my mum hence I won't be leaving her
  11. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    Your points are all valid and I don't have the answers because I can't predict the future, I'm just trying to do what is best for my family i.e. my wife and daughters and my mum, Australia is not the be all and end all - its an opportunity, and adventure a chance to try something different, we may hate it and be back after a year but equally my mum if I could convince her to visit it may come over, love it and never want to return....and the problems around contributory visa occur!
  12. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    Sorry you have lost your mum but as I said in my first post "going and my mum not visiting for extended periods is not an option." and in my second post "my mum is more important to me than living in Australia" i.e. we would not go to Australia if my mum says she won't come and visit its as simple as that. I agree with you completely people are more important than places, thats why I want constructive advice from people who have been in a similar situation and how they dealt with trying to get across why you want to go to Australia and why you want them to still be a very important part of your life
  13. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    Bungo, Quoll I appreciate what you are saying and my mum is more important to me that living in Australia however equally IMHO I'm not actually asking that much of her, she would have to "endure" an uncomfortable trip once in 3 months, she is in the fortunate position to be able to travel business class or even a 45 day cruise on the Queen Elizabeth to get to Oz. The life she has here revolves around my family and in particular her grand daughters, why you think being able to spend more time with the family she cares about so much in a climate far more conducive to good health as opposed to stuck in her house in the UK on her own would be classed as comparative penury I have no idea.
  14. owensfamily

    How to convince your 81 year old mum to come and visit

    Thanks Laura, sounds like you have it well and truly planned...I just need to get the ball rolling with her and start to introduce the ideas
  15. It's crunch time....we validated in November 2013 and have until November 2017 to get to Oz, a window of opportunity has come up and leaving Jan 2016 would be a good option, however I have a very big sticking point....my mum. If we go now she will be on her own, we will be taking her two grandchildren away from her and they are basically her life, when we came back from our validation trip at the end of 2013, she wouldn't really talk about us leaving and although she would never stop us I know leaving her would be devastating for her, but at the time she had said she would come out and visit plus she had my older sister back here, unfortunately my sister passed away suddenly in January this year and my mum is now point blank refusing to travel. Our Australian adventure was something we always wanted to do and we worked very hard to be in a position to get a PR visa, taking over 4 years to be granted and at this moment a lot of things such as work, finances, school ages for kids etc have lined up that going in the next 6-8 months would work very well but going and my mum not visiting for extended periods is not an option. I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone been in a similar situation, how did you handle it? I'm thinking I need to sit down with her and run through everything with her and make her understand what it means to us and how we work around her fears about coming to visit, the plane journey etc.. but at the moment I'm dreading that conversation
×