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chapmans

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About chapmans

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  1. I guess it's not all bad all of the time, she does have good days/weeks, but I never realised nor did she, just how much she would miss her friends, family and school from back home and certainly didn't think we would have to go down the professional route to help her deal with all her emotions! I guess it's like they say, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger......... right?? Aiken Drum... Good luck with your decision, I guess if you don't do it, you will always wonder what if, which is why we all decided to give it a go. I now tell our daughter to look at it as a big adventure and if when she finishes school in a couple of years, she or all of us want to go home, then we can do so, but who knows how we will feel then........ and hopefully we won't have problems getting her a place at UNI with her VCE results, but that's a whole other worry and one I try not to think about now, as like I said who knows where we will be then....
  2. Hey there, Just read your post and I feel I can give you quite a good insight into the dilema you are facing........ We were in the same situation as yourselves this time last year, our daughter was just finishing year 10 in the UK and we got offered this opportunity to come and work here in Melbourne. Obviously our daughter didn't want to move, but accepted that it was a great opportunity for us all and prepared herself for the move once she finished year 10. Fast forward 9 months which is how long we have been here and If I am honest, I think we have made the biggest mistake ever coming here! It has been far harder than I could have ever imagined, both for my daughter and myself and husband. Fortunately our son who is 11 loves it, but he is so easy and goes with the flow. Our daughter joined school half way through yr 10, which in itself was quite hard for her, coming into the year half way through and getting to grips with the different education system, but she did ok, or so we thought........ Around the end of September, she became very depressed, always crying, constantly tired and wouldn't talk to us at all, so we took her to the Dr, at her own request and was recommended to see a psychiatrist, as she had a lot of personal issues that she needed to talk through with someone. I of course thought, OMG what have we done, she was perfectly happy back in the UK and now she has to see a psychiatrist! If I could have gone home then and there I would have done, believe me! So now here we are, she has started year 11 and is still seeing the psychiatrist and still not really happy and all I can think about is how the hell are we going to get through the next two years, until she finishes school here! Like I said, if we could go home tomorrow I would do it, but all her friends are now just about to start their GCSE exams and I am not sure how she would be able to finish her education, other than making her drop a year and doing her GCSE's next year, which she would hate! So we are damned if we do and damned if we don't!! Arghhhh She has a boyfriend here, who is a lovely guy, but she herself admits that he is the only reason she can handle it here, so of course that makes us think, Oh my, what will happen if/when they break up? She will go into complete meltdown. Honestly sitting here, I could cry about it all, so please don't do anything hasty, try and wait until after your daughters GCSE's, but even then it may be too fragile an age for them, as you know what girls are like, or at least a lot of them! It takes a very strong person to be able to cope well with moving and that age, even my husband and I have found it incredibly hard and not the sort of lifestyle we are all lead to believe........ The cost of living here and the amount of hours my husband has to work with only 4 weeks holiday a year makes life not all that pleasurable and top it off with none of your real friends and family around for emotional support, it all just makes you look at what you had back in the UK and the grass definitely isn't greener for us, not that we had a bad life in the UK, we had a fantastic life, but moving here was always something we had wanted to do, to give the kids options in life when they are older, due to the way things are nowadays in the UK. Fortunately my OH only has to complete 12 months with the company he is with before we could leave and return home without having to repay them all the moving costs they paid, so at least that is something....... I am going to contact some schools back in the UK and find where we stand with our daughters education and then make a decision. I hope this hasn't scared you too much, but I just wanted to be brutally honest about how we have found it, of course not everyone is the same and some can cope much better than others. Good luck with your decision.
  3. chapmans

    Anyone in or near Brighton?

    Hiya, Just logged in and found all these replies re meet up in Brighton. I am always up for meeting for a coffee and chat but best to arrange via a pm as I still don't always get the PIO notifications. Vanessa x
  4. chapmans

    Anyone in or near Brighton?

    Hi Cath, Just wanted to say thanks for the invite, I will see if I can make it and let you know. Vanessa
  5. chapmans

    Daughter doesnt want to go to oz

    Hi, Yes I have a 15 year old daughter who was in her last year of school back home and of course did NOT want to leave all her friends and move to Melbourne, ahh it broke my heart and I felt just awful at what we were doing to her, but these opportunities only come your way once, so we decided to take the plunge and go for it! It has been a roller coaster ride to say the least, but now we have been here for 7 months and our daughter loves it!! So much so, she says she never wants to go back to the UK!! She loves her school, her teachers, her lessons ( shock horror! ) and has made some lovely friends, plus now has a boyfriend. My opinion now is, Kids are resilient and adapt well, it is the parents who suffer the most!! Good Luck!
  6. chapmans

    Anyone in or near Brighton?

    Hi Lisa, I can do that day as kids back at school then, woohoo! I will pm you my number, as I don't always get the pio notifications, hence the fail at meeting up last time! Vanessa x
  7. chapmans

    Anyone in or near Brighton?

    I could do Monday or Tuesday next week? Hopefully it will have stopped raining by then!
  8. chapmans

    Anyone in or near Brighton?

    My children are going away tomorrow until the 19th so I am free to meet for coffee. I know we meant to arrange a day before, but what with Xmas and my parents over for the whole of December I was just so busy!! Vanessa x
  9. chapmans

    2 minds

    We were in a similar position to yourselves this time last year when my hubby was offered a sponsorship with Coles with the option of PR after 3 years. We debated and umm'd and ahh'd, turned the offer down and then did a quick turnaround and accepted, as we were of the opinion that if we don't do it, we will always wonder what if and it had always been a burning desire of mine to live in OZ. Our kids are somewhat older than yours, so yours being so young is really in your favour and like you say you are still young yourselves, so you could give it a go for a couple of years. This is what we are doing, we are here for at least the next 2 years until our daughter has finished school and then who knows! We have been here 6 months now and we have both been very homesick at times (kids are having a ball!) but the way I get through those feelings are to look on this as a real life experience and that it doesn't have to be forever. My motto in life......... it's better to regret the things you do in life than the things you didn't do! I don't want to be on my death bed having any regrets. One thing I would say is, don't sell everything you have back home. Rent your house out so that you have it to come back to which is what we have done. We have friends who sold up and moved to NZ only to return 3 years later regretting selling their house! Good luck with your decission.
  10. chapmans

    UK tv programmes

    And why are you going to all these lengths to read and comment on posts that you obviously have no interest in??? Perhaps it is you that needs to go do something less boring instead?? Unless of course you have something of use to say????? No......I didn't think so. :tongue:
  11. chapmans

    Anyone in or near Brighton?

    Hi Luisa, So sorry to have missed your reply, for some reason I do not seem to be getting notification from PIO when someone replies............ Ok so we have missed this week, but could do a day next week, probably wednesday would be good? Maybe send me a PM so as I get notified of message? Vanessa
  12. chapmans

    Anyone in or near Brighton?

    Oooops, i haven't checked back into my original post for a while, so thank you for all your replies and sorry that i haven't replied!! I would love to meet you all for a coffee and can make myself available most days, is anyone free this week or next? Was thinking perhaps Wednesday or friday? Looking forward to meeting you all. Vanessa x
  13. chapmans

    Advice on School Years Uk v's OZ

    Hi Matt, We were recently faced with the same situation. Our daughter was just finishing year 10 at a private school back home and we had enrolled her into a similar school here, where she would ordinarily have joined half way through their year 9. Our daughter and we felt that this was perhaps not the best for her as we had been told that the UK education system was ahead of the Australian one and the fact that she had been at a private UK school, meant that she could be even further ahead, so........ we asked that she join in year 10 and see how she gets on, as felt that if she found the work too difficult then she could always drop back down to yr 9, but couldn't go up as easily, which the school were more than happy to agree to. Fast forward 4 months and she has now finished yr 10 here and is commencing the start of year 11. It hasn't been an easy transition and our daughter has found the whole thing rather stressful, but I think that is mainly because she joined yr 10 half way through and the differences in the education system take some getting used to, but kids are resiliant and she has done really well considering what she has just been through at the age of 15!! She is now loving school and really excited to be starting year 11 at the same time as everyone else. I hope this helps a little, as I know how confusing it all is. Vanessa
  14. chapmans

    UK tv programmes

    Just to let everyone know......... I have subscribed to My ex pat network for £5 a month and am now able to watch programmes on Itv, BBC players etc and was able to Watch I'm a celeb last night whooo hoooo!!! :jiggy:
  15. chapmans

    Anyone in or near Brighton?

    Ooops forgot to say, that's Brighton, Melbourne. V :biggrin:
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