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Everything posted by seekingsunshine

  1. seekingsunshine

    Need help with an impossible situation :(

    Hey everyone... I've just separated from my husband - he has gone off with another woman (was our mutual friend) and left me with our four kids and I am 22 weeks pregnant.... He is not the same man and he won't do counselling or anything just says he has 'strong feelings' for this other woman and that's that....obviously no strong feelings for me, our four kids and unborn child so my dilemma is what am I to do? I have duel citizenship with au and uk but all my family is in uk...I have an amazing network of friends who have been very supportive here but obviously you cant just keep asking people... to complicate matters my pregnancy is not going well, was told a couple of weeks ago to consider termination....the situation has improved but I am scanned and monitored weekly and baby will almost certainly be born early with underdeveloped lungs..... my husband was aware of all this but still thought it would be a great time to develop feelings for someone else... my parents have suggested that me and the children go back to the uk with them and stay for six months so they can help with the children, birth and special care of baby, my ex partner has agreed children can go for as long as I want/need...(he doesn't seem to care) I do not want to be in the uk at all but can not see how I can manage in the short term with such a difficult pregnancy my parents cannot stay here longer... i'm worried if I return to the uk I will be stuck there for months if the baby is very premature.... I feel like I need a change of scene and need to give myself a break from my selfish ex and surround myself with people who love and genuinely care about me and the children....but I don't want to be in the uk in the long term I just don't know what to do.... I hope no-one else has ever been put in this situation but just in case I thought I would put it out there...for any suggestions
  2. seekingsunshine

    Need help with an impossible situation :(

    I have it worked out in the practical sense to some degree but my fear is being stuck in the uk with a preemie baby...ultimately I want my children to be Australian... si I know I answer my own question there...I just don't know wherther I am ready to face life here without my husband... my parents would come back out when the baby is born but this baby could arrive at any time that's why I am being monitored weekly and if the baby shows any distress then it will be taken out...could be at 26 weeks, could be 28 weeks I just don't know... it is safe for me to fly, just depends on the babys lung condition when born whether she will be able to fly... my friends are amazing...but not family...and I don't know if I am strong enough to deal with this situation on my own....feel very alone even tho my oparents are currently here.... thanks so much for the replies...I guess I am just talking it out in my head...ultimately I want to be in oz just not sure how practical or feasible it is with five kids on my own ...
  3. seekingsunshine

    Need help with an impossible situation :(

    oh and I was planning to buy a return ticket, return in time for next school year and get a rental sorted, my parents have a home I can stay in here initially...i'm just scared I think that I will be stuck longer in the uk with a preemie baby and I don't know whether I should just face my difficulties here but then I would just really like some support and to remove myself from the situation
  4. seekingsunshine

    Need help with an impossible situation :(

    he has said I can go as I will have more support there than he can give me, he will buy me out of our house so money isn't an issue plus I will still get centrelink benefits here while I am in uk... my parents have a huge property in 2 acres in a beautiful part of the uk so no dramas to stay with them at all, the kids are young so i'm happy to have them out of school, i'm still a uk citizen so presume I can use my nhs number I never cancelled it lol
  5. seekingsunshine

    Need help with an impossible situation :(

    thanks for the reply - he can't and won't , he lost his job a couple of months ago and only has temp contract now so cant take time off our children are 7,6,4 and 2 and I am struggling to see what to do for best
  6. Hi everyone! thought some family people (especially with young children) might be interested in this comparison! I have recently had my child tax credit/and working tax credit back - telling me I'm now entitled to.......67 pounds a month!!!! I have two children under three, i work (20 hrs) earning minimum wage and my husband is an a contracted electrician - usually working 60 hours a week - earning about 25 grand (after tax) HOWEVER, he is at moment working away (as due to economic crisis there are few jobs local to us) so he has to pay about 120 pounds a wk i just cant believe how much we are being penalised for being married and wanting to be a family! I dont expect the gov to support us, it just annoys me how it doesnt support married couples and/or family units. In contrast after doing a bit of research I've discovered that with my hubbie working full time, me as STAY AT HOME mum and with three kids, we'll be entitled to around $1200 in Australia - because the gov there has a scheme to support families with only one breadwinner, where one parent wants to stay at home!!! WOW! i cannot believe this we're actually not going to be penalised for being a family! i think we need to get on a plane quick, because with rising costs here in the UK we won't be able to survive much longer!!!
  7. seekingsunshine

    HELP! Families with children - does Oz REALLY offer more?

    Hey! good luck with your decision-its a tough one!at least you have first hand experience of Australia to compare it with! For us Australia definately does offer more - we wldnt have got a mortgage in the Uk, even on two wages (especially with how mortgages are now in uk) we have a mortgage here in oz, house 600m from the beach. We have had a fourth child , who wldnt be here if we lived in uk as we wldnt have been able to afford him!i am a sahm which i cldnt have been in the Uk my husband earnt 20000 pounds in the Uk and here earns over $80000. we cldnt afford to live in the UK now lol! so it totally depends on what you do for work and where you settle! our children have a much better lifestyle here-they are outside a lot more,we are very close to the beach (as we were in the UK) I cldnt justify living in the UK now but understand that orthers are obviously very happy there lol! I love love love it here!!!! I am so happy that my children are growing up here and wish that I had!! all the best with your decision- do u have extended family here then?that should make the move a lot easier
  8. seekingsunshine

    new puppy- who do u recommend for pet insurance?

    Hello! i've posted this in poms in adelaide but then thought for pet insurance i can ask for recommendations from all over australia yesterday we picked up our 8 week old fluffball, a long haired male german shepherd He is absolutely gorgeous I've just been looking online at different pet insurance companies - currently looking at medibank pet insurance.... but thought i would ask on here to see if anyone had any recommendations for pet insurance? never insured a pet before lol was expecting to pay about $40 a month which with medibank would give me accidental and illness cover but is it worth going for routine care cover too where u claim back on vaccinations etc? any guidance would be fab thank you!
  9. seekingsunshine

    Toyota Tarago or Kia Carnival?

    i have kia grande carnival and we are family of six, two adults, 4 kids under 6....i personally wouldnt opt for kia carnival as i think it would be too small and it reminds me of the hyundai trajet too much in its appearence (had one in uk and hated it lol) i dont think there is much bootspace in kia carnival with all seats up, whereas kia grande carnival the boot is huge! and very very deep as the three back seats fold into the boot... havent ever really looked at the tarago.... happy shopping!
  10. seekingsunshine

    Best car for family of 6

    our kia grande carnival is 2008 - we arrived 2009 so it was a year old when we bought it.... we got 5 years warrenty with it... most garages will offer a three year warrenty with a car so i dont see what problem there would be with buying older model? there is plenty of boot space- it is a seriously big car! we have two booster seats and two car seats in it and there is a lot of room... car parking spaces seem to be bigger in oz lol and i dont have a problem parking it...mine also has reversing sensors and a camera on the back with a screen by driver so there are things that can help.... hope that helps, i agree with the other poster, take everyone with you when you go to see car, and car seats and pram, and dont rush into a decision... we did a with buying the hyundai santa fe and we lost a few thousand good luck!
  11. seekingsunshine

    Best car for family of 6

    We have a kia grande carnival... brilliant car, we would buy one again definately. we actually bought a hyundai santa fe when we arrived but sold it within 4 weeks (lost a few thou ) as way too small , we had three kids aged 3 and under at the time so all needing car seats and a grandma with us... my friend had a kia grande carnival and i fell in love with it! we got one and i would not change it... it has 7 full sized seats and then there is a middle seat in back back row but u cldnt fit a big adult there for long journeys. we now have 4 kids so have four child seats in the kia grande carnival and still room for the grandparents when they visit ( i squeeze in back middle seat lol) we had a hyundai trajet in uk and that was pants - we all leant forward when we went up hills lol! so i was a bit put off the kia grande as didnt really want a people mover due to speed etc, then i test drove it and it definately moves lol! boot space is massive..only thing my husband complains of is its turning capacity we also have a nissan patrol 7 seater , hubbys car and family car for beach days but its not big enough for everyday use by family of 6... only 4x4 i would conisder for everyday would be toyoto landcruiser... anyway hope that helps, check the kia grande out if u can!
  12. just wondered if any electricians out there could give their thoughts on the work situation in their state/city? we were planning on moving to Adelaide but just been looking on a thread on there which says there isnt much electrical work around....obviously i know this is the case probably everywhere at the minute! my hubby is fully qualified in Uk - we're just going thru TRA to get him recognised in Oz (goin on spouse visa) then were going to do PEER course in Adelaide.... just trying to decide where to move to!. when i checked out electrician jobs on seek.com there was a huge amount of work in Melbourne..... any melbourne electricians out there? what are your thoughts? anyone who is anywhere else? any advice on current work would be greatly appreciated! thanks all
  13. Hi everyone i'm sure i've read a thread on this before but i cant find it anywhere.... does anyone know if next deliver to Oz? i've been on their website and they deliver to new zealand but i can't find australia! (why would they deliver to new zealand but not oz?!?):err: i was hoping to buy some lovely maternity summer clothes off next (not been overly impressed with maternity stuff i've seen here so far):err: can anyone help?!? THANK YOU! :jiggy: (I know dotty P, topshop, new look, asos,debanhams,marks deliver here -so surely next must?!?!)
  14. seekingsunshine

    move from south australia to queensland

    Hi thinking of a move, not immediately but in next couple of years however my concern is that i keep reading tradie jobs are hard to come by in Queensland.... is this still the case? my hubby is an electrician, he has a fab job here which he has been in for two years... bit worried about giving that up if work is hard to come by in Queensland... any advice from electricians in Queensland would be fab- whats the work situation like please? Thanks
  15. thanks so much Kate - great information! i have already contacted diggiddydoggy and the ladty has emailed me some info out so it looks like our dog can come on holiday with us thanks again!
  16. hi everyone! bit of a random question but was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions... we are going camping to mount gambier in october and are planning to take the dog with us, then we thought well its only a few hours drive to melbourne , we havent been before, be nice to go with the kids to the zoo, aquarium etc and then we thought 'what about the dog?' we obviously cant take her in the zoo......no dogs allowed in i'm afraid lol anyone got any suggestions? be good to find a dog sitter for a 6 hours during the day....do kennels even do this type of thing? we were thinking of camping in the Geelong area or somewhere similar so we could just make a couple of day trips into melbourne..... plans may now be changing because of the dog! any suggestions appreciated!
  17. seekingsunshine

    how can we get family over here?

    Hi! was wondering if anyone could offer any advise...we have no experience of this visa business really as i am an oz citizen and hubby came on spouse visa so was very easy for us! my husbands sister (29) wants to emigrate to south australia with her husband (34) and their daughter (1) my sister in law has nvq level 3 in childcare but hasnt worked in that occupation since she qualified! her husband is an unqualified painter and decorator and has been working as such for the past two years (before that was in debt collecting) we believe we could give them some points by sponsering them but not enough that it would make any difference! my husbands parents still live in uk so we are not their last remaining relatives.... what other possibilities are there? could they study for something and come on a tempoary visa? we have no idea if there is any way to get them out here! any help greatly appreciated!
  18. seekingsunshine

    MMR vacine australia

    Hi, i dont want to start a debate about the MMR vacine i was just wondering if any one knew if there is anwhere in australia where you can have the vacine given as single immunisations - mumps, measles, rubella i chose to do this in the uk and happily paid for it would rather do the same here but internet research suggests that this isnt on offer in Australia! does anyone know any different? thank you!
  19. seekingsunshine

    MMR vacine australia

    thanks for the replies, i will try contacting my local council (we are in SA) but i think you are right, they do not offer single vacines here really annoying, will still have mmr but will wait awhile i think, and have it seperately to hep b etc! this case is headline on Daily Mail Family win 18 year fight over MMR damage to son: £90,000 payout is first since concerns over vaccine surfaced Read more: Family win 18 year fight over MMR damage to son: £90,000 payout is first since concerns over vaccine surfaced | Mail Online i'm sure a lot of people will start feeling jittery again but i do believe in vacines just would rather single vacinations lol! thanks for all the replies
  20. seekingsunshine

    Back in the uk for 4 years now

    snap starlight7!! we're thinking along the same lines here lol! :biggrin: benefits to living in either country!
  21. seekingsunshine

    Back in the uk for 4 years now

    i know it does generally seem to be raining in wales lol! bit like scotland i guess! we are here for the lifestyle i.e beach but for as a family we are also financially much better off here (hubby earns twice what he did in uk) and obviously for him as a tradie job prospects are much better. we have also been able to afford our own house here and a am a SAHM both of which werent possible in the uk also , something i know that is very important family and friends...all of my family have duel citizenship and my parents are in the process of buying here so they can split their time here and in the uk, my hubbys parents are also planning to spend three months a year here when they retire... we know we are in a very fotunate position as many people the ultimate draw back to the uk is family (tho we have met plenty who move to get away from family lol) we do miss people tho. everyones different tho - be boring if we stayed in the same place all our lives wouldnt it!?!
  22. seekingsunshine

    Back in the uk for 4 years now

    all the best to those going back to the uk-you've got to do whats right for you and yours at the end of the day. i have no plans to ever go back and we love it here.....but everyones different just had to post tho as my kids spend way more time outside here than they ever did in the uk! they wear hats and sunsits and suscreen and if we are just staying at home they ride their bikes/scooters under the giant pergola..... we're thinking of putting a sail over their swingset too..... when its really hot we head down the beach at four ish when hubby is home from work for a cool down ...its fab.... but we live only 500 metres from the beach lol! we were hardly ever outside in the uk as it was way too cold and windy (wales) and i cannot stand being cold! at the moment we're not outside much cause i think its cold at 17 degrees! we lived in a lovely beautiful area of the uk 'an area of natural outstanding beauty' quote but i only saw it from a car apart from a few weeks a year when it warm lol! so for us apart from when its 40 degrees obviously we are outside a lot! all the best to those going back!
  23. seekingsunshine

    £12ooo, and 4 kids ???

    Hi i think it will be enough especially if you have a job to go to and will have money coming in straight away. a lot of people come with less (but obviously have the support of a partner which prob makes it easier) but if you have a job to come to than thats a massive hurdle overcome. the only thing that would concern me would be childcare (you dont say how old your kids are....) if you are on permanent visa you would qualify for help with childcare , the only thing is thats its hard running around everywhere when you first arrive with four kids! but thats only the first week or so-you could do it! again if your kids are a bit older that would help i would reccomend Adelaide (but i live there lol), no it is a lovely place to live and bring up kids possibly slightly cheaper than other states too?! we love it here, and we could have gone anywhere in Oz as i'm a citizen (have lived in Brisbane before too) maybe check out other sites like POMS IN ADELAIDE and try and speak to some midwives.... i'm sure Melbourne, Perth etc must have sites like this too so maybe try and get a feel for the different cities! Best of luck, but I think it can be done, if you want it to be!
  24. seekingsunshine

    Favourite Poems

    "My Country" is an iconic patriotic poem about Australia, written by Dorothea Mackellar (1885-1968) at the age of 19 while homesick in England. 'My Country' written by Dorothea Mackellar The love of field and coppice, Of green and shaded lanes. Of ordered woods and gardens Is running in your veins, Strong love of grey-blue distance Brown streams and soft dim skies I know but cannot share it, My love is otherwise. I love a sunburnt country, A land of sweeping plains, Of ragged mountain ranges, Of droughts and flooding rains. I love her far horizons, I love her jewel-sea, Her beauty and her terror - The wide brown land for me! A stark white ring-barked forest All tragic to the moon, The sapphire-misted mountains, The hot gold hush of noon. Green tangle of the brushes, Where lithe lianas coil, And orchids deck the tree-tops And ferns the warm dark soil. Core of my heart, my country! Her pitiless blue sky, When sick at heart, around us, We see the cattle die - But then the grey clouds gather, And we can bless again The drumming of an army, The steady, soaking rain. Core of my heart, my country! Land of the Rainbow Gold, For flood and fire and famine, She pays us back threefold - Over the thirsty paddocks, Watch, after many days, The filmy veil of greenness That thickens as we gaze. An opal-hearted country, A wilful, lavish land - All you who have not loved her, You will not understand - Though earth holds many splendours, Wherever I may die, I know to what brown country My homing thoughts will fly. love this poem,especiallu the second verse which sums up how i feel about Australia! love it