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the_shaws

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About the_shaws

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  • Birthday 04/07/1972

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  1. the_shaws

    6 months in Melbourne and it is breaking us

    Hi everyone, thank you for the kind messages! I haven't been on this site for 2yrs now and thought I would have a quick look at the thread. It's now nearly 3 yrs and....we are still here! We are still in Diamond Creek and have now owned our house for 18 months. I have had ups and downs but there are definitely more ups Our kids are now 17 and 13 and love Australia, I don't think I could ever imagine them living back in the uk. I still have occasional thoughts of missing the uk but they now drift off as quickly as they arrived. The main thing is getting out there meeting people and joining clubs, groups etc to get into your new life. I joined a running club and the CFA 12 months ago and feel part of the community which I never had in the uk. So anyone reading this I would recommend a minimum of two years and don't think of it as forever, you can always go back, however if you go back too soon you won't know what you are missing either! Don't feel like you have to stay in the first place you land, take your time and look around, we know a few families that returned from Melbourne due to the suburb they were living in, you need to work out what you like, the beach, city, leafy areas etc we ended up in the north east which is a beautiful area near to the Yarra valley, close to the vine yards I am heading back to the uk in a few weeks after 3 yrs of being here so a little apprehensive, however this is now home, I have spent the last 6 months of summer dining outside in the evenings, camping in holiday destinations on our door step, jet skiing and wake boarding at the Great Lakes in Victoria and wondering around a fantastic city with so much to offer! When and where can you do that in Nottingham?? I wish everyone all the best with you own adventure All the best Ross
  2. the_shaws

    6 months in Melbourne and it is breaking us

    Hello All, Its been a year since I wrote the original post and I came online this morning to delete this thread...and I cant find how to delete it lol. So instead I thought it maybe better to give an update rather than deleting as it may help others. Well things have definitely changed in a year and as others have said its about giving it time, well giving it time but also changing circumstances. From that very dark and depressing post I am a completely different person, don't get me wrong there are times I still think about things from the UK but those thoughts are few and far between now which I could never see happening. So what advice can I give, thats a difficult one as everyone is different and there are different scenarios, however this is what I did: 1. Go to the doctors and get some professional advice, I only needed the help initially but the following changes made the difference 2. Reduce your calls home, your family and friends will encourage you return 3. Change your job if it doesnt suit you....this should be at number 1, this made all the difference to my life 4. Get out and make the most of your weekends...I brought a second hand 3 seater jetski and what a difference it made to our family weekends and the relationship with my 15 year old (he has learnt to wake skate) 5. Move from that dingy rental, after the contract runs out, that you had no choice in renting due to the $1000 per week motel bill 6. Join a club, meetup is not a bad application (seems to be more for singles) but good place to start. I joined a local running club that helped loads. 7. Give it time and don't think it is forever, you can always return after a couple of years if it doesn't work out, we have had friends that have returned to the UK and are glad they made the move. 8. Think about what sort of area you want to live in and have a good look around. I was depressed by the inner suburbs, they were cut and paste with no character. We have moved further out to a hilly / leafy area which suits us. So from 12 months ago where I was ready to jump on a plane I have done a complete 180, we have brought a house in Diamond Creek which has a metro station so we can get into the city, the kids are happy in school in the next suburb and I am really looking forward to the summer. I hope this post helps other people that find themselves in the same situation All the best Ross
  3. the_shaws

    Wattle Creek Equestrian Centre?

    Sorry Julie, just noticed you are in Brisbane!!! Oh well.x
  4. the_shaws

    Wattle Creek Equestrian Centre?

    Hi Julie, I read your message and looked up Wattle Glen on a map. Is it 2 hrs 50 mins N.W of Melbourne? I was hoping you meant Wattle Glen, which is 10 mins from where we live in Diamond Creek. I'm looking for a riding partner, something Id really like to get back into.Anna
  5. the_shaws

    Partner Really Down

    Thankyou so much, and Merry Xmas. All good advice, and heart-felt. Anna
  6. the_shaws

    6 months in Melbourne and it is breaking us

    Hi Afro Developer, Thank you so much for your post. Everything you wrote makes sense. I completely agree that Ross needs to get out, socialize, do his running again, and feel more himself. It has been the most difficult 6 months in our relationship. I love my husband very much, he is my best friend and soul-mate. I am trying desperately to keep our family together and can see the benefits of living here, as the kids do. We are looking forward to some time off at Xmas and enjoying our time together. Thanks again. Anna.
  7. Hi Tina, we are not having much luck meeting some new friends! Just you and I for that class of wine then? p.s we could spread our search to Bundorra, Watsonia, Eltham, Heidelberg, anywhere, we are not fussy. Come on there must be some people in the north-east suburbs looking for friends???
  8. the_shaws

    6 months in Melbourne and it is breaking us

    Thank you so much for the replies. I can understand every ones points, the youth culture back in the UK does worry me but we were lucky enough to live in 'nice' area so even though it is going on I would like to think that our boys were not close to it. My 14 year old turns 15 in Feb so I am worried that if we did return in June he will have to retake a year. I just can't see the point in staying somewhere if we are not going to invest and make it home, I want a 'home' again and to feel settled. I know it takes time but if you can't ever see yourself living in the place then you are never going to be settled. I want to do it for my wife and boys but I would like to be happy too. The kids were happy in the UK and doing well. If I do not intend on staying they why would I bring my boys up here with the likelihood of returning in a few years and splitting the family as they would have started there own lives (I know they could move anywhere in the world in the future) We came to Australia to have a more outdoor life, family life. We have visited some beautiful places (Apollo Bay, Torquay, Philip Island etc) but there are lovely places in the UK also. We were always out at the weekend whatever the weather. We have come from a good position to a vast city where I will need to commute for hours and its a nightmare to get anywhere (the trains are good to the city on a Sunday). We weren't expecting to live next to a beach but travelling to a good coastal beach isn't quick and live needs to be a balance between working, family and friends. My wife and I have had many heart to hearts / discussions / arguments about this and she feels its better here than the UK, saying that she too feels long term she would not want to live here (eventually she would like to live in Cornwall, a good few years yet). I am up and down every week and sometimes everyday. She can't take it anymore and I the thought of staying here for another 6 months does send me into a panic. The problem is we simply don't agree... In all honesty I wish we never started this 'adventure' as for me it has turned out to be a nightmare, I wish I could close my eyes and wake up back where we were in the UK and the worry is that feeling is never going to change... Thanks again Ross
  9. Hi All, This is the first time I have written on here, we have been in Melbourne for 6 months now and it feels like a lifetime to me. My kids and wife have settled pretty well but I have struggled very day literally since the plane landed. I am trying to grasp at why we came, its been so hard that I can't even remember why we even came here now. We wanted to try somewhere different and didn't want to get older living our whole life in the UK and also to provide better opportunities for the kids. What I have realised since we arrived is that we had a good life in the UK. Good job, friends, house, area, the only thing that let the place down was the school that my eldest was attending. We should have moved across the city not across the world. My wife is my best friend and soulmate, I have felt so lucky to have met her, she is a strong women and she wants to give it a go for at least a year but I can't live here anymore and it us breaking us apart. We have two kids 14 and 10 which is worrying me even more, my 14 year old should have been starting year 10 this September in the UK. To make things worse the company I worked for in the UK has a job available so I could literally job back into my 'old' life. I am losing my family here but if I 'force' them to move back to the UK I will lose them there also. I'm not sure if its Melbourne or Australia or me. Personally I find Melbourne very bland, I love the city but that's not my life. I live in the North East and most of the work I am involved is down the eastern suburbs so hardly get to the city. Maybe if I was in my early 20's living and working in the city it would be very different. We have moved from the rat race to a huge rat race. I have thought about moving elsewhere in Australia but I think I will simply be uprooting my family again and taking my problems with me. What I do know is that it's not somewhere I want to live long term, the weather isn't everything (and we are talking Melbourne ), I don't want to put roots down here (especially with the price of housing) and with the age of the kids I don't feel we can give it a try as they need to be settled at this crucial stage in education. I feel we are wasting time 'giving it time' as after 6 months this feeling has got worse not better. I want to get my eldest back on to his GCSE's before he falls behind to far. I think we are losing much more than gaining but my wife does not seem to feel the same. Not sure anyone can give any advice and sorry for the ramble.... Cheers Ross P.S For all those on the way out thinking that would never happen to me, be warned I was saying the same thing all the way up to the day we left, agree on a strategy before you come out if one or both of you find yourselves unhappy.
  10. the_shaws

    Partner Really Down

    Hi Debs, My husband is the same. We have been in Melbourne for 5 months. He is really struggling with home sickness and really dislikes his job too. We have struggled to make friends. The sad thing is that our boys love it, their in good schools and have made nice friends. I'm working supply in a school and loving that too. But if my husband isn't happy it brings us all down. It is true the more you get out and do things together away from the house the better it is. But I feel like I'm being a `rock`, trying to stay strong and happy for the kids sake. But as time ticks on I feel more and more tired. I hope your situation gets easier. Feel free to private message me if you want to talk more. Anna.
  11. the_shaws

    We need friends in N.E suburbs!

    We know Eltham well! it is the next suburb to us and we stayed in a Motel there for 3 weeks when we arrived. There is a great park in Eltham with the usual free electric BBQ's that are in most parks. We managed to have a BBQ in the middle of winter to celebrate my wife's birthday (guess it was around 18 degrees and sunny that day which was great). I now have a summer birthday in december Thanks for your message and good luck with your travels, drop us a message when you arrive and get settled Cheers Ross
  12. I completely agree, tell them you are going for a year that is what we have said, set them up with Skype and Facebook and have a practice before you leave. We probably talk more with our family than we did when we were at home! We regularly exchange photos on facebook and see each other on Skype...even over a Smartphone. The world is much smaller now. We were not close to our family but I must say it was the hardest thing we have ever done. It was heart breaking when we left and there is no way to prepare for it. My parents wanted to take us to the airport but I persuaded them to say our goodbyes the night before we left in our home city. If they had come to the airport it would have made the trip down under unbearable. We have been in Melbourne for 3 months now and to be honest I am desperately home sick, everyone says it takes time and in my mind I am trying to give it a year and see how it goes. If its not working out then we will be back home again and it will be like we never left...except we can say we have done it and got the bug out of our system! I am hoping I grow to love the place as the kids are getting on really well over here. Good luck and all the best with your adventure!
  13. the_shaws

    We need friends in N.E suburbs!

    Hello everyone, I know it sounds desperate, but we are a lovely family from Nottingham looking for friends. My husband ,me and our 2 boys aged 10 and 14 live in Greensborough. We enjoy getting out at the weekends, biking, bbqs in park (only did in once so far!), beaches, etc. We are quite new, only been in Melbourne for 3 months. It would be great to share some Australian experiences with others. Anna and Ross
  14. the_shaws

    Hi from Greensborough

    I agree, the kids are why we came, and they love it. It's such early days, I just hope as time goes on it gets easier . Work is trying to help, its just so different for him. Thanks for your message.
  15. the_shaws

    Hi from Greensborough

    Hi simone, love to meet up. Give me a ring Anna.x
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