Phil & Vikki

 

The overriding feeling for me is the worry that we'll only realise if we truly want to be in Australia by moving home. As we are currently on 457 visas, we wouldn't have an easy return option so there is a gamble. It would be much easier to get PR and Citizenship by staying here a few more years (admittedly I would have to look for a different job here) but equally I'd rather have my mind made up than look back and think I invested 2-3 more years to stay somewhere I then didn't want to be.

 

 

The first thing that we would say is that you gave it a go, so no one can ever take that away from you. With the move out here, we decided that we would rather give it a go and see if it was for us rather than look at it all ten years down the line and say what if. With regards to what you have written in the quote above, it does seem that you will not really know if the move is right for you until you have done it and experienced it for a bit. That way you will both know for sure if you want to stay in the UK or be in Australia.

We re going for the Citizenship shortly as then we can come and go as we want, if that is what we decide. As you are on a 457 and like you say it would be hard for you to come back if you decide it is not right for you being back in the UK, you need to make sure this is right for you guys. It is a shame that you could not stick it out for a few more years to get the PR and then the Citizenship so you also would have the freedom to come and go as you want. This will probably be a case of following your hearts and what feels right for you. Would say however, if you go back now, you may not be able to come back out, but if you stick it out and get the Citizenship, then you can come and go.

It is for you, Starlight. In your circumstances, taking into account the life you left behind, the life you have built, the things that matter to you, the things that you value etc etc so many different factors that make us unique as individuals......they all contribute to who we are and how we see the world.

 

For me - I don’t need to move to Australia to know that life would not be better there for me. I’m pretty sure that in certain circumstances I could happily live in Aus (or a lot of other places tbh) but it is not my dream. The things that make my life full and happy and ‘good’ are all here, in the UK.

 

But all of that means diddly squat to every one else, because we are all different and weigh and measure things differently. Some folk will agree that life really is much, much better in Aus – for them. But something like a third of people currently going throught he visa process will pingpong, and some of them will pingpong again. Threads in MBTTUK show that some people, after decades of living happily in Aus/ UK, decide that it no longer ticks all the boxes and that they need to move for a happier or different lifestyle. Goals posts change for a lot of us, for lots of reasons, and that fact alone makes me think that nowhere can honestly be described as the place of dreams......just my view. Tx

Think this is a great reply and helps sum things up nicely. People are all different and what is right for one is not right for another.We all want to live in a world where we have the freedom to express our thoughts and be able to say if something is not right for us.

This post was not meant to read that we were 'escaping' anything, but more the fact that now we have realised that things were not as bad as we initially thought. There was another post where someone said that it is the same sh1t, just a different place. That is true, unless you win the lottery, we all have to get up, go to work, pay the bills and wish the week away to get to the weekend. For some people, they discover that after a bit, they would rather do all of that in familiar surroundings and with people they have know for a long time. We personally did not come out here to escape anything.

I take it that your children have probably heard you discussing this and in my experience children tell us what we want to hear not what they really want as they want to have a happy life and no discord whatsoever. Even when home life is anything but ideal children never want to leave it.

 

The words just seem very adult to me.

 

However I am not saying you should not go or that you should stay, you have to do what is best for you and your family. If you return and for some reason things went pear shaped it would just be harder.

This. I am sure the child was just repeating what he has picked up from you. Although I am not questioning the validity of the statement.

Or we could simply put a curve ball out there and say that it is because they know their grandparents will spoil them rotten and buy them all the things that we will not or cannot for whatever reason?

After the recent family troubles, we have spoken to our kids about either staying in Australia or going back to the UK. We said that this was just pie in the sky ideas at the moment, but wanted to get their thoughts on it all. We asked our son if he would like to go back to the UK and he said yes without any hesitation. We said to him that it would mean leaving all of his friends behind and having to making new ones back in the UK. To which he replied that it did not matter about the friends he had made as family was the most important thing.

Sometimes it takes the innocence of youth to cut through it all to come up with the real answer, the only one that matters.

We have been thinking about it recently and was wondered if anyone else had the same thought. Recently, we have started to realize that what we initially had in the UK was not really as bad as what we thought it was. Yes there were issues which coming to Australia helped us sort out, but after all it was not too bad there at all. Moving to another country makes you realize that everywhere has its own set of issues and problems.

When we were deciding to come out to Australia, we thought that we had it bad in the UK, but now after a bit of time away, we realize that things may not of been that bad. THis is in respects to health, money, friends, family, British ways and all the other things that crop up in conversations

Not that we have things bad here. It is funny how sometimes you think things are far worse than they actually are, when you are set on doing something like moving. It is only when you step back can see the whole picture. The old saying that the grass always looks greener on the other side is often true.

Often thought if this was the case for getting older in Australia and if it was the best place to be. With the costs of medical care and such like, when you get older, do not think that the UK would be that bad for getting older in.

Must agree with the migrant conversation part. We had that many a time and said that we would give it until we got the citizenship and then see how we felt after that. The plan was always to get citizenship for the kids, so they could do what they wanted later down the line, make their own minds up. As it happens, we are very much both in the same frame of mind currently and just need to work out the best option now. Your situation sounds very different though as you are not both in the same frame of mind and whichever decision you make will leave one feeling like it is not really what they want. Was told once that making a list of the good and bad points was a good idea. Not sure if you have done this yet, but it would help you visualize what you both line and want.

The pull towards the family, friends and all the comforts that you had back in the UK (home) is a strong one, that is sometimes underestimated in all the excitement of initially moving out here in the first place. We sure did underestimate this and in the most, it did not come into our thoughts at the time. We are now finding it is the little things we are missing; being able to drop the kids of with the grandparents and go out for the night, the local takeaways where they know your name, UK comedy and shows, the cold and the dark nights where you feel nice and cosy inside by the fire. All things like that, never came into our thoughts when we decided to come out here, but we are finding that they are start to pull us back towards home.

Then there is the family and friends consideration. Everyone (including us) said that with technology today, the world is becoming a far smaller place and that is true. However, there is nothing like being able to just pop around to someones house for a chat and a cup of tea, sometimes a biscuit if they are really good friends Recently my father passed away and that is when we fully realized how far away we were from everyone we know and love. Time to book flights, time to get back, it was coming on to a week later, which for my mom was not nice at all. It if we were there, we could of been there within a few minutes. That is something you have to accept when you move here, but with everyone getting no younger, people may find that they have to deal with situations like this sooner than what they initially thought. We sure did.

These are all things to consider when moving out here or even staying. Life can sometimes be very cruel. I would of given my dad another 10 years at least, but around two hours after we last spoke on the phone he was on his way towards the light. We had planned to come back again for Christmas, so that my mom and dad could see their grandchildren, as we had taken the most important thing away from them (not in a nasty way), but it was not to be.

What I am trying to say here is that if you feel the pull towards the family so bad, then that may be the answer that you are looking for as to whether you should stay or go. You never know when the clock will stop ticking and it is not nice to be thinking after the loss of someone very close, I should of gone back sooner. You should not live life with regrets as you should look forward, so if something is not right then it is a good sign that it needs to be changed, to make it feel righ.

Hi guys, we've done cars back to the UK too, so feel free to contact us if you need any help.

Hi Iron Chief, thanks for that, we will email you with a few of our questions.

Hi grizzly111,

Just read your post/question and really think that the answer is no, you are not mad. Yes things may of changed in the UK, but until you go and experience it for yourself, you will never know if it is for you and your partner or not. That is the approach that we took with moving to Australia. We would rather give it a go, rather than 10 years down the line saying 'what if'. If it does not work out, you will always have the option of moving back to Australia. When you are there you will be able to travel around, go to Europe and enjoy the green and pleasant lands.

Was told once that the worst thing you can do is live your life with regrets. Decisions are made at the time with the information at hand and they should be lived with. If you always look back you will never be able to look forward.

The words of the Dalai Lama below may answer it:

(Not bashing the religious drum, just recognizing that these are some good words to make you think)

Came out here with my much loved car, one that there was no way I was going to let go. Do not regret bringing her out as it was the right thing to do at the time. Also I have had the pleasure of working on her over the last few years. However, now thoughts have turned to shipping her back to the UK for one reason or another. She was originally in the UK, passed the Australian import/inspection, so for a classic she is not in too bad a condition.

How easy is it to ship cars from the UK, back into the UK? Has anyone had experience of this or know how easy it is? I know there is going to be a cost involved as there always is, but wonder if it is strict to get cars back in?

Sorry to hear about your two bad experiences. It sure does make you wonder these days when people cannot be bothered to make the effort or cal you back at the least. We had that when we were looking around for local childcare places. The good thing is that it is all sorted now. Know what you mean about the boxes arriving half empry though, we had that too.

Sorry to hear that it has not worked out for you, but at the end of the day you have to be where it is right for you and your family, The best thing to do would be to sort out the shipping and insurance and then when you have a date for that book the flights. You do not want to be in the situation where there has been a hold up with the shipping, with things not getting sorted out and for your flights to be approaching.

Good luck witht he move back, hope it all goes well.

I remember talking to my late father about this many times and we both agreed that you should not blame the people claiming the benefits, if anything you should congratulate them for being able to get away with it. At the end of the day if you walked down the street and noticed 5 pounds/dollars on the floor, you most probably would pick it up. If things are made available to people they are going to take it. If you look at it even more, when things are made so easy that they can get things such as benefits easy, they would be silly not to take advantage of it. The group you should blame in this case are the people allowing them to claim (the system), for making it easy to do so. These days all you have to do is say that you have a bad leg or arm and you can get money for it from the state for the rest of your life. People need to start standing up and start saying NO.

Looking at the exchange rates recently it does look like the $ is falling and the pound is starting to get strong again. This is a bit like when to buy a house? Do you wait and see if the prices come down or get on the latter now. Would say exchanging now would be the best option, as the pound looks like it is going to continue to climb.

So sorry to hear about your current situation and we hope that all gets sorted soon for you.

Do not know for sure, but would of thought that due to the fact that you have it is writing, that is it. Would the other position (if they win the contract) not be classed as other employment and you would have the right to turn that sown if you wanted? Sounds like they do not value that much after the way they have/will treat you.

Not heard of the company having to relocate stuff too, but may be wrong there.

We were talking about it and a very good question came up. Would you take back with you as much as you came out with? The reason this question came up was that we were looking at our stuff (after moving into another place) and it was clear to see that we had a fair bit of what can only be called junk. We packed literally everything into boxes in the UK and shipped it over. We were thinking this time, if we moved back we would not be taking as much back with with us.

Not too sure how it would go regarding tax, but if we move back to the UK, it is something that we would be considering doing too.

However, the one main thing that would make us have second thoughts is our experience of renting our house out in the UK while we are in Australia. Now, (touch wood) it is going smooth and we can sit back and let it look after itself, but it was not always like that. In the second let, a few things needed replacing and the agency were not the most helpful in sorting things out. It got to the point where we said if anyone is not happy; let them know they can leave whenever they want. For one appliance the agency would only deal with their recommended supplier, who was charging about 3 times more, than what the same item could be brought for down the high-street. To cut a long story short, our father went down to curry’s paid for the item out of his own pocket and then we were going to pay him back. That was the only way it could be sorted. Without him doing that, the issue would have gone on for a lot longer and many an hour spent worrying about it.

Without someone in the place where you are renting, who has your best interests at heart, you may find it hard to manage when things happen. Agents (in our experience) may not always want the best for you, or so we found out with ours.

I think it all depends on what your drivers are to move back. If you are missing family and friends along with the UK itself, then it may not be the best decision to move back and not go to where you know and where your family is. This would only satisfy half of your needs and wants and you may still not feel total settled. However, if it was only the great UK that you were missing and did not really mind being away from family, friends and what you know, moving back to a different place, this would be a good time to try it.

For us, if we did move back it would be to the same area that we know and love. There is the family and friends network there, which we now realise that we miss more than what we thought we would. We love the area (Worcestershire) and often think of the places we used to go and take for granted. You often hear about people going back and then fitting back in where they left off and for us, if we went back that would be the attraction. Loving what you know is not always a bad thing.

I am sorry, but we are unable to give many words of wisdom on your situation. In having said that we hope that everything works out for you OK and sure that all will work out in the end.

Just wanted to say we respect you for doing the right thing and standing by your child and really wish you all the very best.

Just had a phone call this morning to tell me that my Mum has fallen and broken both her ankles. Feel so useless being here. When something happens you are unable to be with the people you love.

 

Liz x

Oh yes totally agree with you. It was the same for us when we had the call from my mother that my father had passed away. It took us four days to get back to my mother. Previously that would have taken us 5 minutes. Times like this it makes you realize how far you are actually away and that when you need to get back it is going to take time.

Not gone as of yet but not sure what will happen in the future. However, we have been considering this for a bit now and think one reason for us would be under estimating the little things that we took for granted in the UK. Certain little things that may not have even been initially considered in all the excitement of move to Australia, but over time end up coming to the surface. Things that we may have done every day or every weekend and not even realize that you will miss them until they are not there.

It isnt a success story as such ......its the force of will over skill .......its been painful at times ......work in worcs a lot by the way

Oh how nice it would be to be sat in the Talbot now having a nice point of bitter and a nice pub meal. We did that a few times when over and it was really nice. Funny how you miss the little things and like we have written about before, these little things all add up after time to make a bit missing point. Really think that Worcester is a really nice place to be, by the river on a nice summers night.

It's not really about 'success' or 'failure' though - I am pretty sure when I look back on my life I will consider migrating to Australia a defining moment and be very glad i did it, so why is that not success in itself?

Totally agree with this. The fact that you gave it a go and consider migrating as a defining moment in your life is a success story. At the end of the day we have to do what is best for us and if staying in Australia is good for the some, it may not be good for others.

I would personally think that there are more success stories out there, than what you will ever hear about on here. Simply due to the fact that when people move back they may not visit or be as active on this site as much as they were when they were moving out to Australia.

Have to agree with Perthbum with regards the warm summer evenings. When we were out there last month, it was a real delight to be outside in the nice evenings. Not too hot and not too cold, must admit, just right. I was even able to go outside without a vest on under my t-shirt, which was a change. We even went to a few pubs in the summer evenings, one in Worcester and it was really nice. It was so pleasant to go to the pub and sit there with the sun shining. The kind of thing that makes you think, you are missing it.

It sure sounds like it has been a success story for bunbury61. Does sound like it is a great place to be and that after a hard start, things have worked out all OK for you and yours. Good one, it is so nice to hear that it has worked out.

One of the things that will help determine the amount of success someone has when returning back to the UK after a period in another country, will be their frame of mind and willingness to return. If they come back thinking (for any reason) that they really want to be in Australia, then it will be hard and possibly not work out. However, if someone returns and look at your time in Australia as an adventure or a good life experience and do not see the move back as a bad thing, then hopefully, it will work out and be a success story. If we do move back in the future, we will not look at it as the worst thing that could ever happen and do it with an open mind. At the end of the day, if you move back it means that you have given it ago. No one can put you down for trying it. You can say in years to come that you gave it a shot. Something that is good for someone may not be good for someone else that is just life.