thanks all. I have managed to make my decision. I have taken a bit of something each of you has said and it has helped me. The main thing is that if I do move back things won't really be any different, my partner will still be the same lovely and kind but unsociable person, and that is fine. I have started to make friends and will continue to get out there. I am staying in Oz and am going to start enjoying my life and not let anyone hold me back nor am I going to be governed by what others want to do. I am responsible for my own happiness. You have all helped a lot.