this is my story

yorkshirepom · 23-06-2008, 05:19 PM

I dont post on here, its my oh that does, regularly, lol. However, i do look at pio on a daily basis, have done since leaving the uk, early feb this year and before that. This is a good site and full of lots of good advice, things get heated sometimes but thats life! We arrived in perth and life so far has been good. However, i must be honest and say that the last couple of weeks for me have been tough. I have felt a strong pull for the uk and never thought i would. Our daughter, 18 in july is in the uk staying with my sis, shes fine but the motherly pull is enormous! We are in touch on a regular basis and i know shes happy and content with her life. That doesnt help how i feel though. I lost my sis in law 6 weeks after arriving in oz. Went back to see her in the uk a month after being here, she died 2 weeks after i came back. Diagnosed and gone in 6 weeks! She was my best friend for 30 years and i miss her like mad! However, this is not a negative thread. I know what i am going through is normal. My oh is very supportive and i love him for that. We are not a young couple, me 47, oh 49. It was not a light decision to move here and i know that. I love oz, perth. I know we will be happy here, eventually. It just helps to write it all down cos i know you lot will understand. As i said, i dont post on here but this has made me feel better. Good luck to all moving here, life is good but familiarality is something you cannot prepare for.

nic x

Scarletfever · 23-06-2008, 05:30 PM

Hey...I havent been on here for yonks, although i keep in contact with some really good mates off here by phone etc. They've all said that some of the posts here are a bit negative but im sure everyone will agree that this, is in no way one of them. Going on the fact that some of the older members on here have gone through the same major emotions as yourself, I'd say you're in a very similar place to the majority of them.

My sister who moved out to Oz a few years ago still gets pangs of wanting to be home, but she oftens tells me that its more a question of a lack of history for her and her family, a lack of familiarity with her current surroundings...both of which they're all gaining with every week that goes by.

Shes home this week for a fortnight or so....I know that she'll love being back here for that time, but will also be looking forward to getting back to her 'home' as well.

Keep your chin up, theres heaps of people on here who experiencing the same emotions as you are right now and of course, heaps of people who wish you all the best for the future.

Dan

kdal · 23-06-2008, 05:32 PM

Hiya Nic, So sorry to hear about your sister-in-law, I lost my sis-in-law and brother-in-law both under the age of 30 , I think it highlights the fact that life is far to precious to not take some risks and have some fun !! Must be hard for you having your daughter in the UK whilst you are in Australia and hope that she comes to visit you soon, thats the thing with children they are also sooo precious but we have to let them live their lifes as we do ours.
I hope things pick up for you soon and you mood lifts, I'm sure it will

Take care and good luck
Kimx

cantwait · 23-06-2008, 05:39 PM

Hi Nic
I'm sorry to hear about your sister in law. Do you have anyone due to visit you anytime soon? Maybe seeing a familiar face would help you?

Karen
X

lizg · 23-06-2008, 05:40 PM

It must be very hard and I imagine there are days that are harder than others but it must be a relief to know your daughter has got her head screwed on and is coping. My only son's been out in Oz since January 2005 and I miss him like mad. Losing your best friend at such a time is awful even just not having her there to talk to for support. You seem to be dealing with these issues very well and I don't think I would cope so well in your situation. I'm sure things wil get easier in time but appreciate it must be very difficult at the moment and you're bound to feel as you do. Any time you need to talk we're all here. Wishing you well in your new life and I hope things get a little easier soon,

Liz

yorkshirepom · 23-06-2008, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cantwait

Hi Nic
I'm sorry to hear about your sister in law. Do you have anyone due to visit you anytime soon? Maybe seeing a familiar face would help you?

Karen
X

Hi i dont have anyone coming in the near future, unfortunately. My daughter is tied up with her life and i understand that. I hope to get through this eventually but at the moment feel a bit crap to be honest. Have been to the docs and am taking an anti-d which has helped a lot. I know we can be happy here its just something i have to work through

cantwait · 23-06-2008, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yorkshirepom

Hi i dont have anyone coming in the near future, unfortunately. My daughter is tied up with her life and i understand that. I hope to get through this eventually but at the moment feel a bit crap to be honest. Have been to the docs and am taking an anti-d which has helped a lot. I know we can be happy here its just something i have to work through

I wish you all the luck in world getting through this. Try and keep as busy as you can to distract yourself. I know all these snippets of advice are easy for us to dish out, but very difficult for you to do. Kick OH off the pc and keep coming on hear and sounding off to us lot if it helps!!

Karen
X

nikci · 23-06-2008, 05:57 PM

Hi Nic,

Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit low at the moment. Having moved from South Africa almost 18 years ago to the UK I can fully understand how you are feeling. Even after so much time has gone by I still have pangs of homesickness but I know I can never go home. For you it must be extra hard though having lost someone close to you and also with your daughter still in the UK so am sending you lots of virtual hugs! I hope that you start to feel a little better soon no real words of advice I am afraid other than to take each day at a time (just for now anyway).

All the best,
Nikci

yorkshirepom · 23-06-2008, 05:59 PM

thanks guys, your comments are much appreciated, believe me! I think i am grieving for my sis in law, although i thought i had dealt with it. I am a nurse and so was she. She was a wonderful person who gave so much to life and she would not want me to be miserable. I want to make it here with my oh. Hes a bit negative sometimes but he means well lol I will reach out to you all, you have made me feel better already! Thanks xx

melissa · 23-06-2008, 06:02 PM

Hello Nic,

My thoughts go out to you. My wife's Aunt and Uncle moved to SA back in the 60's. They have said that they went through the same feelings that you are experiencing. But with time they grew to love their life out there. They're stil there now, forty years later and love every minute of it. I'm sure you'll be okay and will perk up real soon.
My son will be 17 by the time we get to Aus, he says he's coming out to validate, then going back to Essex. I hope he changes his mind but if not, then i'll just have to let him get on with it. It would be nice if they just stayed little wouldn't it.

I'm not surprised to hear your other half is very supportive, i've spoken to him a few times and he seems like a decent fella. I'm sure together you'll be fine, with a little time.

All the best

Darren.