I'm stuck.....help

Lancashire Lass · 18-03-2008, 09:35 PM

Hello everyone. We are a family of 5 but there are only 4 of us planning to go to Oz. We have a 7 year old, a 9 year old and a very independant 19 year old who probably wont come with us.

We really want to make this move for the sake of our children's future as we feel they will have far more opportunities over there. Also the thought of growing old in Britain fills me with dread.

There are two major blockers that are preventing me from progressing our move so I feel we are now stuck and can't move on. The first one is leaving my eldest daughter behind. She is quite cool about it and I am worrying far more than her. The second is breaking the news to my parents. They are both retired now and spend quite a bit of time with my younger children as they collect them from school several days a week. It will break their heart when I tell them what we are planning and the thought of this is playing on my mind every day.

If anyone has been in a similar situation and can offer any words of wisdom, please reply.

megmor · 18-03-2008, 10:16 PM

We r leaving our 20 year old daughter to,but she has her dad who is staying in the uk. it is hard but as it takes awhile for the visa to come ,we just keep talking about it ask her if she is still happy about us going and there is the internet ,web cams,phones if she wants a chat.NOW for my inlaws they know we r going,told them last year but we dare not talk about it.they keep staying things like ,were r u going for your hols, we will take the children away late summer if u like, why have the house valued etc etc...we hide mags on oz,papers on oz, its a night mare,we dont know how to deal with them at present its like they have blocked it out of there minds,different people deal with it in different ways GOOD LUCK HOPE IT WORKS OUT FOR U ALL IAN,PAULA,CHILDREN.

Lancashire Lass · 18-03-2008, 10:22 PM

Thanks for your reply. It's a really difficult situation isn't it. Every day I find myself rehearsing a speach for my parents. All I need to do now is pluck up the courage to tell them. I can imagine that it will take me months to pick up the pieces in the aftermath!!

Whilst its a horrible thing to deal with its good to see that other people are in the same position and managing to work through it. Good luck with everything.

Quoll · 18-03-2008, 10:32 PM

I wouldnt worry about your daughter - so many young Aussies cant wait to leave school/uni and head off to Europe. Many of them (if they have the ability) dont come back so many of us have older kids in UK (my No1 son went for a gap year nearly 6 years ago and never came back - far better career opportunities for him there and he loves the lifestyle. He wont be coming back any time soon!).

As for the parents - of course they are going to be heartbroken and they will either make your life a misery or they will do what many parents do and say - it's your life get on with it!!! Maybe they could be like my parents - when they retired they came here, built a granny flat in our garden and every year for 15 years they would arrive in October and go home in March - their life was one big round of golf. As I am an only child and I took their only grandchildren away from them, they made the best of it that they could. Now they have our eldest visiting them occasionally and though they have never seen their great granddaughter who lives here we sent pics all the time and little videos. They will never get to meet her I suspect.

ali · 19-03-2008, 11:05 PM

It's very hard to tell parents - I dreaded telling my dad as it would essentially leave him alone in the UK - although sad and upset he also said that he knew it would be a good thing for us to do. He visited last year and we're hoping he'll come again this year to see us.

Where are you from in Lancashire? I was born in Oldham, and lived in Preston from my mid 20's

Ali

Lancashire Lass · 20-03-2008, 07:37 PM

Thanks for the message Ali. We live in Cleveleys just down the coast from Blackpool.

gwen · 20-03-2008, 09:32 PM

Hi Lancashire Lass where in Fleetwood do you live if you dont mind me asking,I used to live in Fleetwood then moved to Cleveleys and now live in Pilling.We are hoping to move to Queensland either on sponsorship or Skilled if they get there act together with the pathway D.My son moved to Perth last Seprember and I hate him being over there without his family.
It has been hard for him and use,we have had some really sad calls on the phone,just want to get out of here and over there.
Luv Gwen x x x x

KazzE · 20-03-2008, 11:36 PM

Hi

we are probably going to leave my DD of 18 nearly 19 in the UK when we go to Oz (which all depends on selling our blinkin house)

I have got my head around this by knowing that this is the time in her life when we will see less of her, away at Uni, huge social life, friends wayyyyyyyyyyy more important than family etc etc

and this is the time for us to make this move we are both mid 40's if we wait until she has finished Uni she will probably still not want to come and we will be nearer to 50, jobs will be harder to get ...........

So we are going to give it a go and see what happens

We do not want to be saying I wish in the years to come

Can't help with the parent thing, only have my Dad now and he loves Oz so will be there with us

except to say that the world is so much smaller these days, I have free phone calls to Oz with Talk Talk so manage to speak to my sis and Dad most days, the internet is a wonderful thing, web cams are great and it is so much easier to fly these days, they could come to visit for months at a time and there is always the Contributary parent visa.

Good Luck

Bobcat · 21-03-2008, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lancashire Lass

Thanks for the message Ali. We live in Cleveleys just down the coast from Blackpool.

We stayed in North Drive in Cleveleys for a month's holiday when we went 'home' last year.

Cleveleys was nice................. but fades into insignificance when compared with a land downunder.

If you could only just get your daughter over here for a looksee......... a bit of a holiday first; then you've cracked it. She would no doubt fall in love with the place and the lifestyle too?

Good luck.

kiwi · 21-03-2008, 07:58 AM

We're leaving behind a son who will be almost 18. OK we're only going from NZ so it's not so expensive to ship him across, but I have to remind myself that at that age I left NZ to spend a year in UK. Bobcat is right - get her out for a holiday later. That's what we hope to do with our boy.

Seriously, though, your daughter won't give you a thought if she decides to go live overseas and at her age she probably is completely cool and will relish visiting. Grandparents are harder, but we live in the same country as ours, but different islands and we may as well be overseas. The kids see them once a year if lucky and have only met cousins recently.

Go for it.