WelcomeIf you are new to Poms In Oz and migrating to Australia or currently living in Australia feel free to say hi to all the other either in or moving to Oz.
Hi to Everyone, we are hoping to be in OZ (Mackay, Qld) by Sept 07. We are taking four of our children, two boys 19, 13 & two girls 15 & 7. We will be leaving behind our eldest daughter Kerri (20) & it is a real worry for us. She say's she wants to emigrate but is still doing her NVQ's in Health & Social Care & most of all she wants to be with her boyfreind, she has just moved in with him, which is nice to see her settle before we go.
Can I sponser her after two years & if so could I sponser her boyfriend, they were thinking of coming out on a Working Visa & hopefully they may get sponsered through an employer, I also heard you can only have one Working Visa once in your life.
Is anyone else leaving children behind as we do feel like we are abandoning her (although we have grandparents, aunts, cousins ect still here) & we feel guilty for splitting up our family as we are all very close.
I came to oz last year with my 2nd hubby and my youngest of 3 daughters aged 13, i have left 2 daughters in the uk aged 17 & 20 with their father. Its is the hardest thing i think that you will ever do in your life, it was for me, you will feel lots of types of emotions, you will have ups and downs of feelings that you have abandaned your daughter & guilt. I will be honest and say that i spend alot of time in tears not only for my own feelings but my daughters too and the fact that i had taken one away from her sisters and vice versa. My 13 year old is very happy here in oz and has not had any tears or any sad feelings since she has been here in oz. I guess its always different for mums, once a mum always a mum whatever the situation and how ever old the child is. It has taken me time to begin to feel happier with the fact that i have 2 daughters in the uk that i wont see much and also miss out on a big part of their lives, but as time goes on each day gets eaiser and the tears become less. Its the silly little things that set me off - like a song or something that i see that i know they would like or something that reminds me of them. I am going to watch the FA cup on tv tonight (midnight in oz) and i know that i will probably shed a few tears when i hear the atmosphere that i miss so much from a uk footy match (use to go to them all the time).
It is hard to explain but i hope you can begin to understand a little and i apologise for rambling on so much.
But yes its hard being on the otherside of the world to you own flesh & blood in fact very hard and something you just try and get through and take each day as it comes.
I´m quite sure that you woudnt have any problems sponsoring your daughter whe you have your pernament visa but not so sure about her boyfriend, there will be someone on this site for sure that will help you futher.
Goodluck, keep ya chin up and SMILE everyday
gizmo x
__________________ ** Here There,Where Ever Be Happy**
I know just how you feel. We also shall be leaving our eldest daughter behind. She is 24 and has a degree in psychology. I really do worry about leaving her behind and don't know how I will react. She and her boyfriend are looking to buy a house together. The problem is she can not get work experience in this country so is unable to get work in Australia in criminal psychology due to lack of experience.
I hope they both will eventually come to out to Australia. I think leaving children behind is
always going to be hard.
Thankyou Gizmo for taking the time to share your experiences with me, i'm not the only mother here then who will be leaving behind a loved one. It is going to be hard but I know in time i'm hope she will come to be with us, she is still young & very much in love & as a mum you have to step back & let your children make ther own desions when they are that age. We were all young once (seems ages)! anyway we are only a phone call away.
Hi Jenny, thankyou for your reply, it will be hard but I suppose if 'WE ALL' don't make the move out of this country for our family then they have no hope of a better future. We are making a pathway for them to have a better life if they wish, hopefully our 'elder children' will follow us all eventually. Hearts will be broken & the pain must be endless until they join us but we must go on for a better life.....& hope for that reunion.
It must be really tough for you, quite a few people on here who have been in a similar position and well placed to offer you some support. I do count myself lucky that my children were younger and I didn't have to face that dilema
Ali
__________________ I am toopositive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated!
Hi
I too will be leaving my daughter of 24 behind. I am really not happy doing it as we have no real family for her to call on if there is a problem and at the moment does not know where she will live, her finances are always desperate as she parties too much and I really don't know what she will do yet. I always said that I would not go if my kids didn't but my other 2 of 22 and 17 really want to and so does my husband so have decided that we will. However, I think that I will leave some money over here in an account should she be desperate (not for her to get her hands on but for us to transfer) and try and get her settled somewhere before we go. I am hoping she will follow us eventually but am already feeling quite upset and that is before we even go.
At the age of 24 they are supposed to be adults and I had her by that age but it seems they are much more still kids than when we were that age.
I left my 18 year old entirely alone at Uni in U.K. and I miss her terribly.. We both have wobbly days and sometimes it becomes overwhelming but I am coming to terms with the fact she will probably never live with us again. She has had a very steep learning curve but is coping perfectly well, especially with communication as good as it is.... Being a student, she is a TOTAL financial drain and that drives me nuts but it helps to keep things in perspective. She visits three times a year and, because we are a family that has always travelled, she is happy with that.. Just shout when you need some moral support... Plenty of people on this forum are in the same boat!
It must be one of the hardest things in the world thank goodness mine are too young to know what it is all about, I have been having wobblies about leaving my parents behind but this must be 10 times harder, there really is no comparison.
Well we will be leaving behind 3 daughters 2 grandchildren and a great dane!
Our youngest daughter is 20 and is 1 year into a college course,has a full time job and is not ready to come so we will have to set her up in a flat and make sure she is ok.
Our two other daughters have a baby each and are settled with their partners,our great dane "henry" is too old for the trip and we have been advised that he would not make it through the quarrentine/flight.
I havent got a clue what i'm going to for a living
Oh!! and our two older daughters are afraid of flying
Leaving My Daughter Behind
