Newish to Adelaide

Paul n Louise · 06-10-2007, 03:01 AM

Hi there - we moved to Adelaide some 4 years ago, and although have a number of good friends here, we have found that people who have lived in Adelaide all their lives are not as welcoming as we thought! Don't get us wrong, they're all friendly and nice, but they won't go out of their way to make you feel welcome into their group of existing friends.

Speaking to people living in some of the eastern cities (Melbourne & Sydney) it appears that people there are more receptive to 'expanding their circle of friends', but that's probable because there are more expats there (either from overseas or from other Australian cities).

How has everyone else found it breaking into the 'clicks' of Adelaide??

Lazy Cow · 06-10-2007, 11:24 AM

We've only been in Adelaide for two years and it seems like a lifetime since we were in the UK. Things have gone well,so we have not missed it and have no desire to go back.

People here have been very welcoming, but I think maybe there are different degrees of friendship. The few Australians we have really become friends with, share a common bond -usually kids - but we know lots of others who we are good on a 'how's it going?' kinda way, and can share a chat / coffee and a joke, but aren't likely to end up barbie-ing the night away! I put that down to life, and anyway, I think if you already have a social circle you are happy with, you might not feel the need to add new ones...which is why we have a group of pommie-pals too! Some have been here for ages, and others are new, or have been over about the same time as us.

Friends are so important -well, to me anyway!- and I sometimes feel very vulnerable when relationships turn out to be less than I originally thought. I think too, I have a tendancy to call someone a friend when I really mean aquaintance. I mean how long before you can really really trust a new relationship? I'm not sure two years is long enough - ask me again in five years! But I guess that's what happens when you move half-way across the world and try to re-create your life!

I seem to have done my rambling-on thing again....

, sorry! I'll get my coat....
LC.

Tyke · 07-10-2007, 01:10 AM

Hiya Paul n' Louise

I'll add my bit after LC's eloquent reply

You do notice that a lot of locals and long term ex pats may not seem as welcoming.
Most have had their circle of friends for years and basically are not looking for more.
Although we have met some great people, both ex pats and Aussies.

I think that when we come over we are looking to replace that circle of family and friends.
It is very hard to do I'm afraid.
LC is right pointing out a common bond.
You may meet people who only have the fact that they have made the move here as well.
Someone commented yesterday that you have to think if you would have had a friendship with some people back in the UK.

As LC points out - there are friends and acquaintances .
We have a good bunch of close friends and are always careful to introduce new people into the group.

We are off to a BBQ this afternoon.We have never physically met the hosts but have mutual friends and views.

I could go on as well...............

No need for a coat today LC

KP Nuts · 07-10-2007, 04:26 PM

Ok, so there I was thinking how friendly and co-operative the Adelaidians are to be confronted with this post saying that they don't really want me as a friend, cause they have got to many already, as they pick and choose who to have in there tight knit circles.

yours disgruntled.

Sorry if I've rambled, I'll get my cap and go to the Gold Coast

Mr KP Nut.

PS your gonna find 'clicks' no matter where you go.

leanneandmark · 09-10-2007, 12:23 AM

Hey KP lets start our own circle!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lazy Cow · 09-10-2007, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KP Nuts

Ok, so there I was thinking how friendly and co-operative the Adelaidians are to be confronted with this post saying that they don't really want me as a friend, cause they have got to many already, as they pick and choose who to have in there tight knit circles.

yours disgruntled.

Sorry if I've rambled, I'll get my cap and go to the Gold Coast

Mr KP Nut.

PS your gonna find 'clicks' no matter where you go.

Dear KP...you make it sound so personal!!! (Although it probably would be in your case -though Mrs KP is ok!)

A clique is a group of friends/colleagues that are hostile to outsiders, and I think you are right, you can find them everywhere. I don't think there are more here than anywhere else- if they exist at all. What I mean is, any group you are not a part of can seem like a clique, but I don't believe people here -and I am including poms- are hostile to outsiders, just might not feel the need to immediately take you to their bosom(

sorry to shock!)

We were told that Aussies can take a while to 'let you in' because they believe you might go back to the UK. I don't know about that. I do think we can all be a tad unrealistic if we believe that all Aussies carry snags and an open invite in their back pocket. I reckon it takes time to become established in an area, whether you move from Sutton to Tonbridge, or Tonbridge to Adelaide, but it happens.

What I'm trying to say is that in our experience, it's all good. We've met heaps of people while we've been here. Some we still see, many we don't. And that's healthy. It's been fun and we've never been bored or felt lonely, but true friends take time -and luck- to find and establish.

And in the meantime, there's always us!

Yours rambling on as ever, your friend,

LC.

PS. Not you Monkey-Mamma...you're ours and we are waiting for you!(Couldn't find a threatening smilie.

)

ESSEX TO AUS · 09-10-2007, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul n Louise

Hi there - we moved to Adelaide some 4 years ago, and although have a number of good friends here, we have found that people who have lived in Adelaide all their lives are not as welcoming as we thought! Don't get us wrong, they're all friendly and nice, but they won't go out of their way to make you feel welcome into their group of existing friends.

Speaking to people living in some of the eastern cities (Melbourne & Sydney) it appears that people there are more receptive to 'expanding their circle of friends', but that's probable because there are more expats there (either from overseas or from other Australian cities).

How has everyone else found it breaking into the 'clicks' of Adelaide??

Hello Paul , louise

If it helps I have found it exactly the same hear in Brisabane. Maybe we have to except it and mix with poms. We plan on coming down your way I'mn sure it's not perfect but I'm sure no where is.

We'll be your friends when we do get down LoL as we have none either but I am a sad winging pom.

Good luck John

KP Nuts · 09-10-2007, 12:17 PM

He He, i was waiting for a reply LC, but you only get Mrs KP if you take the kids too.

Yours not rambling on............

Leanne that would be a swell idea, an we could grab all the other newbies to Adelaide too, and meet at yours.................LOL..................

Mr KP Nut.

The Baggo's · 09-10-2007, 02:24 PM

I think LC is right - there is a big difference between a true friend and aquantances. Only time and experiences will make a true friendship in my opinion. I know I am going to miss my 2 BEST friends like mad and nobody can replace them but will hopefully meet new people!!

dunnarunna · 09-10-2007, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazy Cow

PS. Not you Monkey-Mamma...you're ours and we are waiting for you!(Couldn't find a threatening smilie.

)

now i know your game all this talk of friendship but really your fed up with them kangaroo burgers & thought you`d like to try monkey sausages instead! is this where the tin lady has disappeared to, shes been turned into the bbq!