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    Thread: Stay or go


    1. #1

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      Stay or go

      Hi,


      I could use some advice or hear opinions.


      I have been granted and validated my 189 visa. However, I can't decide whether to go after all.


      My marital situation is a little bit different than most of what I've seen in this forum and others. I'm single, rapidly pushing 40, never married, so I have no other half or dependents to worry about if the move goes wrong. I applied thinking of the 'lifestyle' and the good weather and because after just over a decade in the UK, I think life in London didn't turn out to be all I hoped for (slow on the uptake but I get there). Good job and a nice (rented) flat but I've found most people I've come across are in a rush all the time and though I've made many acquaintances, as in the type I can go out for a drink with, I've made no real friends like the kind I have back in the 'old country'. If I move to Australia I would have to give my job and careerwise possibly start from the bottom. If the move doesn't work out I'd have to move back to London and start over finding a flatshare and a job. I will have lost a lot of money in the meantime which is going to set me back a lot from getting on the property ladder.


      Family-wise, I have a father soon to be 70 who lives on the other side of the continent whom I visit twice a year and he sometimes comes over for short visits too. I also have a brother who has a young family whom I see when I travel there. I hadn't told my father of my intent to move before I got my visa so as not to get discouraged as I was going through the process. But since then we talked a lot and he's never stopped attempting to talk me out of it. He's hyper active and mostly in good physical health but, although he never brought it up, I know that if neither of us gets hit by a bus in the near future, I'll see him eventually slowly lose his mental and physical faculties and if in Australia it would pain me to see him only once every 2-3 years.


      I'll also be completely on my own without a partner and it'll probably be lonely at first. But I get this here in London too.


      Then there's the work opportunities. I applied thinking that there's no way there won't be many jobs in my field in Melbourne and Sydney (I do software/web development). I get varying experiences in the forums about that, some find work within 1-2 months after landing, some takes them 6, others move back to their country of origin a year later having spend their life savings looking for work without success. I've also heard of the request for "local experience" before many consider you for a position. But, like in product reviews, you're more likely to report on something when you have a bad experience of it in order to inform others. There's always the positive possible outcome which is finding work relatively soon and settling in. I'll probably also have to take a pay cut for the first couple of years as a new migrant.


      On the other hand, I applied for the visa knowing that life is short and at nearly 40 I'm itching for an adventure. I'm tired of this weather and the stress of London and need a change of scenery. At a first glance it seems like I'm giving up a lot but here are no certainties in life. Additionally there's the upcoming Brexit which has affected my work directly as well as possibly the number of job opportunities in the UK. I don't want "what-ifs", to regret things I've not done. I have to do what I feel is right. I miss the laid back, "there's always tomorrow" lifestyle which I had before I came to London.


      I've been swaying between the two options for the past two weeks and I think it's not doing me any good thinking about it again and again especially after revving myself up for the better part of last year, but I think I have to follow my instinct. It's all very nice, safety and comfort, but sometimes you just have to live your life.


      What are your thoughts?


      TL;DR - I've been granted and validated my 189 visa but I can't decide whether to go. I'm a single man with a good job and a rented home in London and at nearly 40 it'd scare me to give all that up and start over on the other side of the planet. If the move doesn't work out I'd have to uproot again and move back to London looking for a home and work and in the meantime I'll be set back by thousands of pounds. I also have family I'm close with on the other side of the continent and it'd be scare to see my ageing dad once every 2-3 years.

      Workwise, as someone who wants to work in IT/Software in Melbourne or Sydney I' getting good and bad stories about job availability.


      However, I have little social life in London as everyone seems to be in a rush all the time. There are no certainties in life, even the good home and work could disappear, and if I don't go I'm afraid I'll look back at 50 and deeply regret it. I've got a scratch I need to itch and if it doesn't work out I'll have dragged no one else into this but myself and I can possibly absorb the monetary setback in a few years time.Do you think that small adjustments in life could significantly increase its quality instead of uprooting and leaving?

    2. #2

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      Can you not take a career break and try Australia without burning your bridges ,maybe say for a year ?
      It may scratch your itch and settle your mind one way or another. Leaving family is hard and broke my heart, thankfuly i had their backing but years on i miss them as much as Day 1 ,i guess you sort of learn to live with it and try to stay in touch in other ways. On the flip side,the pull is too much for many migrants and they return to be near family, a year or 2 over here should give you a decent idea of how you feel and wouldnt leave you spending the next 40 years wondering what if.

      Cal x
      If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place...
      If you get a chance,take it, If it changes your life,let it. Nobody said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it...

    3. #3

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      I agree with CalNgary. Take a career break, suck it and see, that way you lose nothing, have your adventure and see if it works for you.

      Big cities are much of a muchness in reality and the pace of life in busy city career oriented jobs is about the same. Better weather? Hmm Sydney over Melbourne perhaps but bottom line, start where you can get a job and go from there. Both are quite expensive places to live so you'd want to land something substantial otherwise it's baked beans on toast territory.

    4. #4

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      Hi Kurt

      I am in a very similar situation to you. I applied thinking I liked the lifestyle and weather, validated and then time went by still in the UK. I'm also single, 44 never married and no kids. In fact, I was still unsure up until 6 weeks before my visa would run out for entry.

      I've also got parents who are now in the 70's and is a worry about the future.

      However, at 6 weeks out, finally decided I would come here - the main reason being not wanting to regret it for the rest of my life. I've not cut all ties with the UK, and in my mind I currently think if I stay it'll be 4 years so that I can get citizenship and then who knows after that.

      So, I'm a few weeks in now, and nothing is yet settled - no ongoing rental just short term, and no job yet as we hit christmas, but it is nowhere near as stressful as I thought it would be - the worst bit was leaving.

      So I'd say give it a go, but dont think of it as such a stark choice else you will worry yourself silly about it, just enjoy what comes and take it one day at a time.
      IELTS Academic 19/03/2011 Overall 8.5 | Skills Assessed CPA 18/06/11 | NSW State Sponsorship 19/09/11 | 176 Visa Lodged 06/10/11| CO Assigned 24/10/11| Police checks loaded 11/11/11| Medical 11/11/11, finalised 18/11/11, VISA GRANTED 21/11/11!!!

    5. #5

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      I think go for it. You can talk yourself into and out of anything. Believe me, I've been there big time.

      Go for adventure. Life isn't better in Australia nor is it better in the UK. What suits you won't suit others etc.

      Just do it!
      Two professional people looking for a different view. Small child and fluffy pet in tow. Whits fur ye, nae git by ye

    6. #6

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      Career break all the way. My wife is taking a 5 year one and we'll see what happens over. I'm self employed.

      B
      Visa 190 'Skilled Nomination' | Teacher | AITSL skills assessment submitted 10 04 '16 | Successful AITSL skills assessment result 10 06 '16 | Recce to Mellie August 2016 | IELTS result 27 08 '16 (Av. 8.5) | 'State Nomination' application lodged 31 08 '16 | 'State Teaching Registration' application approved 23 12 '16 | We await further instruction...

    7. #7

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      BOB=Beaut Old Bloke
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      Quote Originally Posted by Ozzie View Post
      I think go for it. You can talk yourself into and out of anything. Believe me, I've been there big time.

      Go for adventure. Life isn't better in Australia nor is it better in the UK. What suits you won't suit others etc.

      Just do it!
      I like that, Ozzie.

      Cheers, Bobj.

    8. #8

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      Sounds like it's worth a spin to me

      There's quite a bit of software development work I think, both Sydney and Melbourne although people I know in that sector do agree there's a lot of "who you know" at play, but this is so for many industries in Aus (and in fairness that's not uniquely Australian). None of your reasons for not going are that strong to my reading; your father's only 70 and if fit and healthy these days that's not really old; you're only renting in London at the moment anyway; you don't sound like you've got lots of things you're leaving behind

    9. #9

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      Quote Originally Posted by Ozzie View Post
      I think go for it. You can talk yourself into and out of anything. Believe me, I've been there big time.

      Go for adventure. Life isn't better in Australia nor is it better in the UK. What suits you won't suit others etc.

      Just do it!
      "Like"

    10. #10

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      Hi Kurt,

      Front and back end web dev, pretty strong in both Sydney and Melbourne. If you have any Scrum, Agile, DevOps, big data experience that will certainly help.

      Salaries I think will tend to be slightly higher in Sydney due to the higher cost of living.

      Aside from the weather, I think you may find the same hustle and bustle as London in Sydney, where as Melbourne a slower pace and believe people tend to be more friendlier.

      Take a look at seek.com.au to gauge the market, due to the Christmas break it won't really start picking up till after Australia day.

      Could you move your stuff back to your parents and brother, get a flat share here so you only have to buy the minimal of stuff and ship a couple of boxes to keep the costs right down. You could then give yourself a year or two to decide if the decision is right before fully committing.

      EDIT: As an after thought, do you have a github account, if so add that to your CV, if not already.
      Last edited by evets; 05-01-2017 at 10:06 PM.

     

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