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    Thread: Stay or go


    1. #11

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      Quote Originally Posted by Kurt View Post
      Hi,


      I could use some advice or hear opinions.


      I have been granted and validated my 189 visa. However, I can't decide whether to go after all.


      My marital situation is a little bit different than most of what I've seen in this forum and others. I'm single, rapidly pushing 40, never married, so I have no other half or dependents to worry about if the move goes wrong. I applied thinking of the 'lifestyle' and the good weather and because after just over a decade in the UK, I think life in London didn't turn out to be all I hoped for (slow on the uptake but I get there). Good job and a nice (rented) flat but I've found most people I've come across are in a rush all the time and though I've made many acquaintances, as in the type I can go out for a drink with, I've made no real friends like the kind I have back in the 'old country'. If I move to Australia I would have to give my job and careerwise possibly start from the bottom. If the move doesn't work out I'd have to move back to London and start over finding a flatshare and a job. I will have lost a lot of money in the meantime which is going to set me back a lot from getting on the property ladder.


      Family-wise, I have a father soon to be 70 who lives on the other side of the continent whom I visit twice a year and he sometimes comes over for short visits too. I also have a brother who has a young family whom I see when I travel there. I hadn't told my father of my intent to move before I got my visa so as not to get discouraged as I was going through the process. But since then we talked a lot and he's never stopped attempting to talk me out of it. He's hyper active and mostly in good physical health but, although he never brought it up, I know that if neither of us gets hit by a bus in the near future, I'll see him eventually slowly lose his mental and physical faculties and if in Australia it would pain me to see him only once every 2-3 years.


      I'll also be completely on my own without a partner and it'll probably be lonely at first. But I get this here in London too.


      Then there's the work opportunities. I applied thinking that there's no way there won't be many jobs in my field in Melbourne and Sydney (I do software/web development). I get varying experiences in the forums about that, some find work within 1-2 months after landing, some takes them 6, others move back to their country of origin a year later having spend their life savings looking for work without success. I've also heard of the request for "local experience" before many consider you for a position. But, like in product reviews, you're more likely to report on something when you have a bad experience of it in order to inform others. There's always the positive possible outcome which is finding work relatively soon and settling in. I'll probably also have to take a pay cut for the first couple of years as a new migrant.


      On the other hand, I applied for the visa knowing that life is short and at nearly 40 I'm itching for an adventure. I'm tired of this weather and the stress of London and need a change of scenery. At a first glance it seems like I'm giving up a lot but here are no certainties in life. Additionally there's the upcoming Brexit which has affected my work directly as well as possibly the number of job opportunities in the UK. I don't want "what-ifs", to regret things I've not done. I have to do what I feel is right. I miss the laid back, "there's always tomorrow" lifestyle which I had before I came to London.


      I've been swaying between the two options for the past two weeks and I think it's not doing me any good thinking about it again and again especially after revving myself up for the better part of last year, but I think I have to follow my instinct. It's all very nice, safety and comfort, but sometimes you just have to live your life.


      What are your thoughts?


      TL;DR - I've been granted and validated my 189 visa but I can't decide whether to go. I'm a single man with a good job and a rented home in London and at nearly 40 it'd scare me to give all that up and start over on the other side of the planet. If the move doesn't work out I'd have to uproot again and move back to London looking for a home and work and in the meantime I'll be set back by thousands of pounds. I also have family I'm close with on the other side of the continent and it'd be scare to see my ageing dad once every 2-3 years.

      Workwise, as someone who wants to work in IT/Software in Melbourne or Sydney I' getting good and bad stories about job availability.


      However, I have little social life in London as everyone seems to be in a rush all the time. There are no certainties in life, even the good home and work could disappear, and if I don't go I'm afraid I'll look back at 50 and deeply regret it. I've got a scratch I need to itch and if it doesn't work out I'll have dragged no one else into this but myself and I can possibly absorb the monetary setback in a few years time.Do you think that small adjustments in life could significantly increase its quality instead of uprooting and leaving?

      You have the visa and no property to worry about and you're still young so my thought is just go for it - if you can take a career break then that's a good idea but otherwise you have more to gain than to lose and it doesn't need to be forever, we came back after 5 years.

      A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it - George Moore

    2. #12

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      I think it'd probably be worth a shot. I've no idea about IT, but you're ideally placed with no substantial ties or responsibilities at the moment, and so I don't think you've anything to lose by giving it a go for a while. You don't have to view a move as permanent or temporary, just go with the flow and see how you feel. We're just heading back in the opposite direction, but we've had a great time here, albeit with kids which is probably more difficult. Maybe see if you could stay long enough to get citizenship, so the door is always open for you in the future.

    3. #13

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      100% agree with you LKC, I'd say give it a go.

      Appreciate it is difficult with kids although I would say its also difficult doing this on your own too - there is no one to boost you back up if you are having a bad day. It can feel lonely but as you say the key is to go with the flow and see how you feel.

      I'd say put all your stuff in self storage in the UK for say, 6 months and get yourself out here to see how you feel after a few weeks, or months. Buy a one year return ticket, so you know you will be going back within the year, at least for a holiday and to arrange to ship your stuff out, or else to return for good after deciding its not for you. Can always have furnished short term, and will give you a very good idea what is worth shipping or not (I wouldnt ship half of what I thought I would after doing this).

      If nothing else, you'll have an adventure which you can remember for the rest of your life. Don't think of returning as a failure, just an option. You wont know unless you try.
      IELTS Academic 19/03/2011 Overall 8.5 | Skills Assessed CPA 18/06/11 | NSW State Sponsorship 19/09/11 | 176 Visa Lodged 06/10/11| CO Assigned 24/10/11| Police checks loaded 11/11/11| Medical 11/11/11, finalised 18/11/11, VISA GRANTED 21/11/11!!!

    4. #14

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      Life is an adventure, would you regret if you didn't at least try it? Nothing has to be permanent. We have never said that Australia will be our home forever, although having lived here for a few years and toured, I suspect it will be.
      As said above, try it as a career break, see what happens.

    5. #15

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      I assume you are in a nice safe permie job kurt?

      First thing you need to do is take some risks. Book yourself into a skydiving course and jump out of an aeroplane. After that, everything else will be tame.

      Next step, go contracting. Be it in Australia or the UK. May as well be Australia though. By taking some risks you will earn some money and actually be able to buy a house and get some stability.

      Embrace Australia. Or the UK if you decide to stay. Do something new and exciting once a month.

      Live a bit mate. Explore the world.

      In ten years you will be pushing 50. Where do you want to be then?
      Last edited by newjez; 06-01-2017 at 12:53 AM.

    6. #16

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      Hey mate,

      I'm with the others, go for it.

      I'm a little confused by your post though, you're in London, right, your Dad is where (UK?) and your brother & family are where?

      There is an expression about London "everybody should live before they are 35, everybody should move out of London after 35", can't remember who said it.

      I first moved over as a backpacker at 24, moved home to Dublin at 33 with citizenship and came back to Sydney at 37 (economic reasons), now I am about to move to Perth at 43 (to be closer to my daughter). I purposely got my citizenship in 2007 before moving home just to keep my options open, I didn't think I'd need it so soon.

      It is definitely harder as you get older and as an expat you need to make more of an effort to meet people. It took me 18 months to really settle when I moved back at 37. Depending on your interests sports clubs are a great way to start socialising. My football club in Sydney has over 2,500 members and over 200 over 35's and 45s. Meetup.com is a great site for finding groups who share your interests, I found a great bunch of friends to go skiing with every season. Even social events on forums such as this. It will be hit and miss but you will find people you click with eventually if you make the effort. You are probably over sharing a home, but it may be an idea for the first year to help you meet some people. Flatmate finders is a good start to find compatible housemates.

      Regarding work, you are in a boom industry worldwide (although sometimes not as well paid as it might be). You should be ok in any of the capital cities but Sydney and Melbourne would be your best bet. Reach out to a few recruiters (I know a few in that area) for an initial chat on how in demand your skillset is and what sort of $ you could pull. Seek.com.au is a good start for browsing job ads and I'm finding LinkedIn is good. Nov to Jan is a real quiet time so don't be too disheartened at the minute. Things start picking back up post Australia day (Jan 26).

      Sydney is about 10% more expensive than Melbourne but salaries are higher. IMO - Sydney is beautiful and has better weather, the harbour & beaches. Melbourne, probably friendlier, more of an European city and more culture, nicer vibe to it although the introduction of small bars in Sydney helps.

      PR is a big thing, well done. Never die wondering, you rarely regret the things you do, often the things you don't do. I think it's worth coming over and staying to get your citizenship. After that you have options, you may end up going back to Europe/Uk and then retiring to Aus in 20 years. You may end up with kids and have Aus citizenship to pass onto them. Keeping your options open is the key thing. Definitely a better lifestyle and more outdoors focussed. Distance is an issue though (although flights are cheap at the minute) meaning you can't go to every wedding, funeral etc.

      If you decide that Aus is too far away but still want to move out of London, have a look at Dublin. Smaller, friendlier city but still close to UK/Europe, no IREexit (we're dumb but not stupid :)) and large tech industry (Silicon docks is in the city and has the EMEA HQ of a lot the large tech companies (Google, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter etc and lots of spinoffs from that), crying out for software engineers.

      Good luck

    7. #17

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      I think you are in a very fortunate position. No dependents or financial burden to worry about. How awesome? Probably my biggest concern moving over was letting down my family (dependents) and losing a lot of money on something that was ultimately my idea. Career break would be a great idea if you could. I actually like the Dublin idea as well from Collie, having family who work in IT over there it is a real hub. Obviously not the weather you may be seeking but great tasting Guinness!
      AITSL assessment complete-09/10/2014 | IELTS L8.5, R8, W8.5, S8.5. -13/12/2014 | EOI submitted 07/01/2015 (65) invite 09/01/2015 | 189 Visa applied - 10/01/2015 | Meds -20/02/2015 | PCC-08/03/2015 | Visa granted! - 20/03/2015.

    8. #18

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      Fair point Benj1980, I guess if you have dependants then there is more potential to let down your family, especially if it was your idea in the first place. That makes it more complicated than coming over on your own.

      I think we all agree he should just give it a go! However, it was easier for me as I had been here before on a WHV, as I am sure many others on here have done too. I think that saves the rose tinted glasses, but nonetheless still love it here. I gauge that on whether I want to get on a plane and 'go home' - no thanks, I want to stay here :)

      However, I nearly missed the chance as I was going, then not, then going again, so that leap is not easy.
      IELTS Academic 19/03/2011 Overall 8.5 | Skills Assessed CPA 18/06/11 | NSW State Sponsorship 19/09/11 | 176 Visa Lodged 06/10/11| CO Assigned 24/10/11| Police checks loaded 11/11/11| Medical 11/11/11, finalised 18/11/11, VISA GRANTED 21/11/11!!!

    9. #19

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      Oh, one other thing you could do is to set your Dad up on skype and teach him how to use it. You can skype him from London to get him used to it and then skype him from Aus. Once you're set up he could come over and visit you.

      My parents learned to skype in their 70s to see their granddaughter and have travelled over twice in recent years (3 times for my Mum).

      My phone contract in Aus includes 300 minutes of international calls per month and regularly call my family and mates in Ireland, the same as I'd call a local mate, just have to watch the time difference :)

    10. #20

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      Quote Originally Posted by Collie View Post
      Oh, one other thing you could do is to set your Dad up on skype and teach him how to use it. You can skype him from London to get him used to it and then skype him from Aus. Once you're set up he could come over and visit you.

      My parents learned to skype in their 70s to see their granddaughter and have travelled over twice in recent years (3 times for my Mum).

      My phone contract in Aus includes 300 minutes of international calls per month and regularly call my family and mates in Ireland, the same as I'd call a local mate, just have to watch the time difference :)
      it's always annoyed me that my parents relatives, and my own brothers and sisters haven't set up cheap international calls. Costs peanuts nowadays, and Skype is free. Not a big fan of Skype but my kids use it to talk with their cousins.

     

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