To apply for Work & Holiday Visa or not. Stuck between a rock and a hard place! Advice needed.

Hi all-

I usually don't go to strangers for advice on deep things like this, but I figured this would be the best place to go as there are a lot of like-minded people on this forum who may have been through a predicament like mine before who could offer their two cents.

To begin with, moving to Australia has always been the ultimate goal and light at the end of the tunnel for me. I met my wife in 2008, moved to England from the States (where I'm from) soon after and the goal was always to live and work in the UK for a few years and then move to Oz. This was a goal we talked about throughout our being together and something we both looked forward to. My wife (a German national) did two stints in Australia in her early-mid 20's- a working holiday visa for a year and then another month trip a few years later and she absolutely fell in love with the country. It's her favourite place in the world and was always in tears on her last day in the country (like most, I'm sure)!

We visited Oz over this past Christmas holiday for 3 weeks, my first time in Oz, her third, and I absolutely fell in love with the country. The people, the sights, the atmosphere. It was absolutely everything I thought it would be. Perfect. After coming back to London after our trip, we had our first in depth discussion about moving out there. My first thought being finding sponsorship work would be the the best & cheapest route to Australia, but soon after doing some research on this realized how difficult it is for an overseas teacher to get sponsorship at a school in Australia, especially in primary schools, as teachers are a dime a dozen in Australia. With this now known, discussion turned to me looking into acquiring a 189 visa, which would allow us resident status and the ability to live and work anywhere in Australia up to 5 years, given I had enough points to achieve this. This has a much longer processing time and comes with a cost of a couple thousand Aus dollars but would give us the freedom to settle anywhere we wished and I wouldn't be required to only stay at one school. But again, as a primary school teacher, the chances of me getting this visa are quite low too, even if I applied as a high school teacher which I also have qualifications for (up to Year 9). So with all this known, my thoughts went from thinking maybe getting a 1 year working and holiday visa to go out there to teach in the areas we would be interested in living with hopes of getting sponsored at a school would be the best + quickest + cheapest route. But it comes with it's cons. Mainly having to be apart from each other for a few months, and the following...

The more thought and research I have put thought into this, the more I noticed my wife getting upset and stressed out. Now, age 30 and 31 respectively, her idea of moving to Australia has diminished to the point of her not wanting to do it at all and it isn't an option anymore, her opinion being that we are too old for this and it's time to look into settling down, saving money and starting a family. This bombshell hit me like a ton of bricks. It was the first time she admitted to not wanting to do this. She's wanting to look forward and not back and her idea of happiness is to plant roots into the ground in England, and she could not fathom starting a family in Australia, a 24 hour flight away from family and loved ones. Fair enough, bless her, I can relate to this. I feel the same way. And I want this too, to settle down and slow things down. But not yet. And not in England. I've slowly come to realize it's not where I want to spend the rest of our days together. My idea of happiness is following the dream that's been there from the start, to move to Australia, if only for a year or two just to get that 'bug' (if you will) out of our system and go from there. It's always been my dream and light at the end of the tunnel and that hasn't changed. Especially now that I'm incredibly unhappy with my teaching job in London, am feeling burnt out and could really use a change of pace and scenery. I used to think moving to Australia was 'our' dream but now only a month ago I realized that it is only mine.

This leads to my being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I turn 31 in 9 days, March 1st, leaving me just 8 days to apply for the Work & Holiday (subclass 462) visa, if that was what we decided to do. Once I turn 31, I can no longer apply for this. And knowing how difficult it might be to get sponsored at a school without ever stepping foot in the door and how difficult it would be to get the 189 resident visa as a primary school teacher, getting a 1 year work & holiday very likely might be our only route to the country. It's a really tough predicament and would require us to be apart for a few months but would lead to us having a few years in Australia. But then again, she doesn't want this anymore. And here I am pondering the thought of getting this visa despite all that, to act on my dream, but there's this huge stop sign in front of me.

So how do I approach this? I know from the start how selfish it is of me to think of 'my' dreams above 'our' needs as a couple. It was only a month ago where I was told we didn't share this dream. And now I'm feeling like I've just had my head chopped off and I'm trying to figure how to adjust to accepting I may not ever move to Oz. But I am afraid if I don't act on this opportunity and turn my back on something I've wanted to do for so long, it may be something I always look back on and regret, and may even form a bit of resentment towards my wife because of her sudden change to not wanting to do it.

So kind people of pomsinoz, what sort of advice can you give? Please be as constructive as you need to be. I can take it. I just really need some outside opinions on this, whether it be kind or not from people who have been in this situation before or even not. I'm just really in the need of some outside advice on this as it's something I can't get my mind off of and the time is ticking. I truly appreciate your time advance and thank you for reading to the end of this message!

Hi ya, Sorry to hear your troubles what a bombshell. I can't really advise on the personal side of it but if you only have 8 days to apply for the WHV why don't you apply anyway and that will then give you a year to decide if you will use it before you have to make the decision to go. The worse case is you have wasted the fee's for the visa but you have it in case the OH changes her mind or if you feel you have to go. Good luck with it all really hope you find a solution you are happy with.

You aren't likely to get much of a look in as a primary teacher on a WHV - primary teachers are a dime a dozen with many young Aussie teachers not able to find jobs. It doesn't look as if you would qualify as a HS teacher either if you can only go to yr 9 - unless you are an advanced maths/science teacher you're going to struggle. It takes ages to get your registration and you'd have to do it for each state you want to teach in so you might find yourself pulling pints or making cappuccinos rather than teaching for the year. If your Wife has already had her WHV she won't be going with you as you aren't allowed to have any dependents during your WHV period.

Its never nice when you think you're on the same page as someone but then you find they're reading a different book! Looks like your decision here should be - is this the woman I want to grow old with? If the answer is yes then cut your losses and work on the here and now - maybe back to Germany or elsewhere in Europe might be a compromise. If the answer is no then cut and run and enjoy your one year WHV and say farewell to your marriage.

I had the goal posts changed on me and it wasn't nice but I'd already done my time in Aus and got trapped there. Hated it with a passion towards the end but the people were more important than the place and I just got on with it with some sense of compromise in the process. Personally, I found raising kids away from family and friends was bloody hard work and you'd have to be 110% committed to do it. Knowing what I do now I wouldn't have done it, both my boys, as adults, regret our relative isolation.

your best bet might be a one year teacher exchange btw.

You could apply for it so you have more time to think about it? it doesn't mean you actually have to use it....

Your wife will not be classified as a dependent - as it is dependent children that can not accompany parents on WHV or W&HV.

One thing to consider is that W&HV subclass 462 can come with the 8503 condition of no further stay therefore you can not apply from another visa within Australia.

You could apply for the visa, if you dont enter Australia within 12 month of it being granted, it will just expire.

You both need to talk and come up wth something...she is also selfish for suddenly changing the dream and expecting you to accept it...you need to discuss all your options with her..come up wth a plan where u r both happy...my husband didnt have my dream but he always knew mine so he knew if he didnt come along to aus with me i would go wthout him..so he reluctantly came and now im feeling like i want to return to uk and he wants to stay lol