should i stay or should i go???

Hi guys, so I'm new to this site so kinda just getting to grips with it - so big appologise for repeating any old stuff.

So in a bit of a dilema! My hb is desperate to move to Oz, I was originally very keen, I've passed my IELTS exam so now need to do my nursing registration bits. But I'm now really starting to FREAK out, questioning absolutly every thing, Is Oz really a better life? Do we really need to goto the other side of the world for our kids and us to have a better family life? will i cope with out my family and friends? Will we get jobs? the list can go on.... Is this normal??? Any sugestions on trying to make this decision any easier - (if at all possible), or is this a clear sign of negativity resulting in faliure aghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All perfectly normal questions and emotions.

Nurses are paid well here and have better working conditions.

As for the kids its a much better life for them and Australia has a future which the UK at present ............

Have a look at the Sunshine Coast of Queensland - its lovely and will give you what you are after.

You should be ok as a nurse work wise - what does your hubby do? How old are the kids?

Hi, thanks for responding.

My children are 2 and 4 - so if were going to make the move I would really like to do it this year so that my 4 year old starts school in Oz.

Currently my husband works in security - but he has said he'll do absolutely anything to get us out there! I do believe him aswell.

I supose I'm a bit worried about the rise in the cost of living in Oz, will myself and my husband still need to both work full time to make ends meet as we currently do here in the UK? Also why does everyone say that the kids will have a better life? where has this come from?? Questions questions question....

Hi Zoelo

I'm a nurse. We have a 3 year old and a 5 year old. Planning on moving to the Sunshine Coast at the end of 2012. Pretty sure everyone who is serious about emigrating has all those questions rotating in priority inside their heads.

On my 'wobble days' when the thought on leaving my mother behind has me in tears, I tell myself that we are going on a very long holiday - a four year holiday.. then with dual passports in place we can live where we choose. As the visa applicant you have a stressful time ahead of you so you have to be 100% convinced that this is for you.

I can only share my reasons for wanting to give it a go... the fact that I have the opportunity to go and give it a try when many have no chance to change their lives.. not only is the pay better but more importantly job prospects are better - any plans for a brand new massive hospital being built where you work? There is on the sunshine coast. If nothing else, it will be the family adventure of a lifetime, opening up the world to our girls.... showing them a culture of working to live etc. I could go on and on.... good luck with you decision... there are plenty of people on here who are doing it and who have done it. Spend some time searching them out.

Firstly you would have no problems getting in with your nursing skills and they do want families with kids.

Work for hubby may be difficult to find at present but if he is a grafter something will come along.

Cost of living is relative - wages here can be good - gas, electric, water, rates, petrol is lower and if you don't shop in the supermarkets food is ok.

House prices are dropping.

Where we are on the Sunshine Coast there are excellent State Schools and private school fees are low in comparrison to UK. 2 kids with 2 working parents private is affordable!

Why is it better for kids:

1- better climate, they can be out doors all year - the emphasis here is on having active kids having fun outside.

2- kids can be kids for much longer and the emphasis / culture of family life is much stronger here

3- every conceivable sport / activity is available here for them - its not all tv and xbox

4- media pressure / fassion culture is minimal where we are

5- the beach and surf sports!

6- good old fashioned schools and excellent universities at a fraction of UK costs

7- a future - Aus is an awakening country and in good shape economically and not bust like the UK - so the kids will have a good future here

Beware and avoid the big cities, the Sunshine Coast in Queensland is great, do your research and if you are prepared to join in and have a go then Aus is the place for you! Its not "a warmer version of the UK"

Ah thanks guys for your responses, knew there was good reason to post a thread on here - I'm now starting to think that maybe my husband could be right! I just have this over whelming guilty feeling of taking my kids away from their family and definatly their grandparents who adore them :em4600:.

Grand parents can visit and they could emigrate too as there is so much for them here too.

Retired folks here keep very busy!

Early mornings down at Mooloolaba Beach its a group of retireds that are out surfing and swimming every morning of the year weather permitting!

FRiends and family are the hardest part of leaving - but if you find the right place here you will not regret it!

Whats the score with grandparents emigrating? don't they need LOADS of money to do so?

It can be done!

Either wait a long time for a freebie visa (12 years) or pay I think about £12K

Ask Bill Rose PM me for details

It all depends on what your 'better life' for the kids looks like. If you are happy to be essentially isolated and self sufficient and play in the sunshine, slathered with sunscreen or sit inside in air conditioned comfort every day and that constitutes a 'better life' then go for it.

I think there is a certain naiveté in the notion that life in Australia is better - it is different, no one is disputing that but 'better' remains subjective. There are sports in UK if you look for them, there is a much higher use of outside playgrounds in UK from my observation, education is very good on the international stage and by the time your kids are old enough to be worrying about work the world will have changed and there is nothing to say that Australia might not be on its uppers (it does tend to lag Europe by about 5 years). I think the sense of community in Australia leaves a lot to be desired - it is very superficial and you may find it hard to make the sort of friends you made during times of significant development.

A lot of kids DONT spend every hour outside, Aussie kids are just as wedded to their wiis and the malls as are UK kids. Kids dont like playing outside in baking heat and, as a parent, you get paranoid about missing a bit with the sunscreen (my niece is right now regretting a day in the sun where the sunscreen didnt quite get all of her back!). It is so much easier to be outside in UK IMHO - you can rug up against cold but you cant escape from heat and unless you absolutely adore heat then you will struggle. Remember, too, that you will be working every day and so the outside stuff is going to be as irrelevant as it is in UK - you will still have to put the garbage out, mow the lawn, clean the house and do the washing up.

Why should you expect grandparents to make the arduous trip to see you? Sure they may want to, but once you get into your 70s and 80s it's not only expensive (travel insurances are a kicker) but also knackering. And why would you expect them to move away from all their social connections to the other side of the world where they are going to be isolated and probably dependent upon you.

However, you are young, you have an opportunity, it's something which may or may not work for you - if it is a better opportunity than the one you have in UK then take it, it doesnt have to be forever and it shouldnt disadvantage your kids in the long run. Australia is just another first world country with first world problems and first world benefits - to be a successful migrant you will have to be very self sufficient and quite selfish.

Quoll - my children's lifestyle and health have improved dramatically since coming to Australia and they were active compared to most kids in the UK.

I struggle to agree with anything you have said at all.

As for making friends it takes time but making them we are and as for the foreeable future economically I do not see much future in Europe for the timebeing.

Sorry I just can not find any common ground with you at all - but then diversity of opinion is a good thing.

leave this dump, your kids deserve it,

leave this dump, your kids deserve it,

What dump? are you talking about Oz or the UK because both Countries are far from dumps.

What dump? are you talking about Oz or the UK because both Countries are far from dumps.

Totally agree. Too many posters on here who forget about 3rd world countries. Come to Oz, check it out, come with an open mind. 15 years here and the kids and I love it. For those who don't like Oz, well they are probably planning their trip back to the UK. Remember, there are plenty of us who do love it and call it 'home"

Totally agree. Too many posters on here who forget about 3rd world countries. Come to Oz, check it out, come with an open mind. 15 years here and the kids and I love it. For those who don't like Oz, well they are probably planning their trip back to the UK. Remember, there are plenty of us who do love it and call it 'home"

I agree, both great Countries, their are plenty who love Oz and others who love the UK, people really need to open their eyes and realize what they have in front of them.

Quoll - my children's lifestyle and health have improved dramatically since coming to Australia and they were active compared to most kids in the UK.

I struggle to agree with anything you have said at all.

As for making friends it takes time but making them we are and as for the foreeable future economically I do not see much future in Europe for the timebeing.

Sorry I just can not find any common ground with you at all - but then diversity of opinion is a good thing.

Yup I can find little to agree with in your list either but, then, I only lived in Aus for 32 years and am so glad to have finally left it. My kids werent advantaged in any way but neither were they disadvantaged, although both have commented on our family isolation as both have now partnered with girls with huge extended families, one in UK and one in Aus. One came to UK for a holiday nearly a decade ago and has so much more of a future here in UK (including owning his own home) that he is unlikely to return.

I worked in education for over a quarter of a century and have seen the gradual apathizing of Australian youth along with a reprehensible level of youth mental health issues - having one of the highest youth suicide rates in the world doesnt really imply a wonderous environment although we have worked hard over the past decade to bring those figures down.

As for being healthier - our grandkids came with us for a couple of months in September and having had a year of runny noses (they are now 4 & 1) we were concerned about them being on a flight TBH but once on the plane they didnt have another snuffle or any sort of malady until the week after they got off the plane back in Canberra and AFAIK they have been sick on and off ever since. My d-i-l had them outside every day in Sept/Oct and they loved it - she wont let them out in the summer in Aus because of the sun damange.

Friends dont have the longevity that they have when you make them in your developing years IMHO - I have been back in UK for 4 months now and can count on the fingers of one hand the contacts that I have received from 'friends' I have made in Aus - I know I have been stretched but they all know that too and it seems that out of sight is out of mind for them. My 'best' friend hasnt even bothered to send an email - when I think of how much she has leaned on me over the years I am borderline pi$$ed off! My experience has been that I have had plenty of acquaintances but very few friends - unlike the half dozen or more I have here in UK who have called, met me for coffee and sent many supportive emails.

So, each to their own. Australia is a good place for an adventure if that is what you fancy but the 'better life for the kids' is not a reason IMHO - kids are happy if they have happy, connected, enthusiastic and concerned parents, the place is irrelevant

Quoll - Sorry I still find very little in your post to agree with.

Perhaps Buderim where we are is very special.

There is a lot lot of emphasis put on having children and promotion of family values within Australia to the point at times that one feels other lifestyles are marginlized. Strange thing is though few kids can be spotted outside playing or whatever kids do.

The suburbs are rather void of any signs of life what so ever,never mind children. I would suggest that children spend a rather lot of time here indoors, strange as that may seem. There is also a rather strong fear of stranger danger.

True there are the beaches in summer when not to hot can keep the kids amused for hours on end,with adult supervision of course.

Strange thing is though few kids can be spotted outside playing or whatever kids do.

The suburbs are rather void of any signs of life what so ever,never mind children. I would suggest that children spend a rather lot of time here indoors, strange as that may seem. There is also a rather strong fear of stranger danger.

 

Most of the kids around us are outside but they are in their back yards or the back yards of friends. If they are riding their bikes they go to the bike tracks. We hardly ever see them playing out the front of their houses or in the street (but that's a good thing IMO).