I have attempted to write this several times over the last few weeks but havent been able to post it as Im really surprised I feel like this. We have been planning this move for 2 years my OH is australian so it was always on the cards. We were not moving because we hated the UK in fact I love London, yes I see its faults there are many! but I loved being part of that city, but was still really positive about coming to australia.
We arrived about 6 weeks ago in Brisbane we are here till april then we move to Melbourne. Brisbane is beautiful the house OH job sorted is lovely, OH is on quite good money so we are able to get out and see everything so why do I feel so crap!!!! I am a really positive person, I will always find the silver lining in a situation but I just cant seen to shake how Im feeling.
Everyday I wake up and think today its going to get better the sun is shining I am a very lucky lady bla bla bla.... but nope still feel the same!
I know nobody here and as the kids are not in school in brisbane I havent had that chance to meet people, I'm hoping that when we move down to melbourne and the kids are in school and all our stuff arrives things will get better, but that will be tough to start with as me and the kids move down the begainning of spril but my OH is still contracted till may in brisbane so he will only be there at weekends to start with. So melbourne with 4 kids on my own!!!!!!!!
Really sorry if this is not the type of post poeple want to read and I know when I was in the UK I really didnt want to here things like this but as they say its good to talk!!!
That sucks.....it's temporary though. Join some clubs (yoga, dance, book group etc) and give it a chance to grow on you. Go say hello to your neighbours. Set up Skype on the computer and make some free video calls home.
That sucks.....it's temporary though. Join some clubs (yoga, dance, book group etc) and give it a chance to grow on you. Go say hello to your neighbours. Set up Skype on the computer and make some free video calls home.
thanks for your reply, its a bit tricky to join a class as we have 4 kids at home at the moment and by the time my OH gets home about 7pm I to tired to go anywhere!!!!!
I have been on msm with the webcam to people back home but I always end up in tears! gosh I would do anything not to feel like this!!
This forum is about the good and the bad and your post will help many people.. I felt like you are feeling now for 6 months..For the first few weeks things were really busy so kept my mind occupied..Then came the downer..I too would wake up every morning with a feeling of dread..I missed everything and everyone so very much..I truly ached for someone other than Paul to share it with as he totally didnt understand where I was coming from, well why would he, his family are all here.. Slowly but surely things picked up and now 8 months in I cant imagine living anywhere else..We too were at first renting in a place we didnt want to be. we are now in the place I wanted to be and things have changed dramatically..I do wake up thinking wow every day...There are of course times when my mind wanders back to england and everything it holds close to me but my kids are happy, Paul is happy and I am happy..Of course we are making more friends now so that helps...Hang on in there girl, mostly it does get better...I am sure once the kids are in school and settled that things will be a lot easier.. There was a time I would have jumped straight back on a plane "home" but not anymore..I will go for holidays and I know everytime I go it wll remind me just why we wanted to come in the first place.. Dont ever worry about writing your feelings down in here, yes not everyone will agree but for the most part, people on PIO are understanding and will always be around if ya fancy a gripe HUGZ Jo x
Jo thank you SO much I makes me feel better just to know there is light at the end of the tunnel even if it is another 5 months away!! I know that OH is happy at work but bless him I think he feel guity telling me!! our 2 babies are doing well they can play outside every, our eldest daughter sees the adventure in everything so she is fine but our 11 year son is finding it hard, I think being out of school away from his friends and only his sister to play with dont help!!!
First off, what you are experiencing is quite normal and the chances are it will pass, as you say, when you are able to get into the community and develop more relationships for yourself rather than just being a stay at home mum. If you can look upon this as a holiday and treat it as you would treat a holiday, making the most of exploring every day and doing all those things that tourists do you may be able to attack it with a different mind set.
If there are other Brisbanites out there, maybe you can catch up with someone for coffee and make a friend or two of your own.
I am married to an Aussie and know just how hard it is - in some ways I think it is much harder for us in mixed marriages because your DH has absolutely no idea how you are feeling because he is "at home" and even though he may not be in the area he grew up in, he is in the country he grew up in and things are more familiar. He also doesnt experience the distance that you are experiencing and even if he is the most wonderful person, he may not quite "get it". OTOH, if you are a couple from UK and going through the same experiences I think in lots of ways it is easier because you are coming from the same place and are able to support each other with a mutual understanding.
Even though I have been married for 35 years nearly, I still dont feel like I "belong" in his family either - that may be his family because I suspect his brothers' wives probably also feel the same! They arent a family like my very close but small family. Added to that, when they do get together, they have a shared history which I dont have which further marginalizes me.
Some of us live here for years and never feel like we "belong" but it is a choice that we make and we have different ways of dealing with those feelings - going to work, keeping busy, getting involved with the community, getting fit, etc are all strategies, as are positive self talk, thought stopping, and other cognitive tricks. Add to that the capacity to go home whenever you want to (I go at least once a year, sometimes twice now that I dont have kids at home) and it becomes easier to stay here.
If you would like to pm me I would be happy to chat! Wish I were a bit closer and I would happily shout you a coffee!
hi quoll
thank you for taking the time to reply, I am really quite shocked I feel like this, you see Im a planner I have a plan for everything, this was not part of the plan!!! I can completly understand about the OH family they really are not what me and my family are, I think even after these years Im still greeted with a hand shake where as mine are a grab ya and hug ya kind of lot!!!! and thats what I need right now.
Hi Peppa so sorry to hear you feel down in the dumps I hope it gets better for you soon. I am sure it is normal for a while to feel the way you do it,s such a big change to your life but I,m sure when the kids are in school you will meet lots of people because I know here in the U.K thats where I have met some good friends and hopefully will do the same when we get to oz, and you do come across as a posotive person and I,m sure you will meet lots of people. Hope you feel better soon x
Hi Peppa so sorry to hear you feel down in the dumps I hope it gets better for you soon. I am sure it is normal for a while to feel the way you do it,s such a big change to your life but I,m sure when the kids are in school you will meet lots of people because I know here in the U.K thats where I have met some good friends and hopefully will do the same when we get to oz, and you do come across as a posotive person and I,m sure you will meet lots of people. Hope you feel better soon x
thank you very much. It does help to get it out there all I have had to talk to is Owen and although he is great at this moment I blame him completly for me feeling like this!!!!!!!
