Going to the loo, a very funny tale!!

[koalakids]

Going to the loo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.........................Sorr y guys, I posted this one last night but in the wrong place!!

When you need to visit a public loo there is invariably a line of
> women waiting, you smile politely and take your place in the line, it finally
> gets to your turn, you check for feet under the cubicle doors.
> Every cubicle is occupied.
> But eventually a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down
> the woman leaving the cubicle.
>

> You get in to find the door won't lock. It doesn't matter, the wait
> has been so long and you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for
> the modern 'seat covers' is handy, but empty. You would hang your bag
> on the door hook if there was one, but there isn't so you carefully, but
> quickly drape it around your neck, yank down your pants and assume 'the
> position'.

> In this position your ageing, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.
> You would love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe
> the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'the position'.
>
> To take your mind off your trembling thighs for a moment you reach
> for the toilet paper dispenser and your worst nightmare it's empty, the
> toilet roll dispenser is empty. You hover looking around in the hope there's a
> new roll behind you no such luck. Your thighs start to shake more.
> Then you remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday & shy; the
> one that's still in your handbag, which is now burning your neck &
> shoulders with the weight. So you contort your arm into a very unnatural
> position and start to fumble around in the deep dark depths of your handbag
> for that small crumpled used tissue no bigger than your thumbnail.
>
> Someone pushes your door cubicle door and because the latch doesn't
> work the door hits your head, which is bent forward from you holding your
> bag around your neck while you are rummaging for that used tissue, the
> door takes you by surprise and you start to lose your balance and topple
> backwards. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach to push the door
> shut and drop the precious, tiny, crumpled tissue you had only just managed to
> retrieve with your index finger into an 'unknown' puddle on the
> floor.
>
> If that isn't enough you lose your balance altogether, or just give
> up and... sit down ... directly onto the TOILET SEAT.

> Yes - it's wet! You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too
> late.

> Your thighs and bottom have made contact with every imaginable germ
> & life form that lives on the uncovered seat.

> By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so
> confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of cold water like a fire hose
> into the bowl which causes a spray of fine mist that completely covers
> your bum and runs downs your legs along with all the various life forms and
> down into your disheveled pants which have now dropped to your ankles with
> your hems soaking up that puddle from the floor.
>
> The flush seems to suck everything down with such force that you
> grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
> At this point you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and
> the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe your self with a
> piece of gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out
> inconspicuously to the sinks.
>
> You cannot figure out how to operate the tap, so run your hands
> underneath it grateful for the two drops of water there and around the basin
> itself.
> You go to the towel dispenser past the line of women still waiting,
> where of course there are no paper towels so you move onto the hand
> blower, which yes you've guessed it that doesn't work either!
>
> You're no longer able to smile politely to the women, but there's an
> unspoken understanding between you all.
>
> A kind soul at the very end of the line of women points out that you
> have a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. Where was that when
> you NEEDED IT??? You yank the paper from your shoe, plonk it in the
> woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this'.
>
> As you exit you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used
> and left the men's. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is
> your handbag hanging around your neck?'
>
> This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public loos. It
> also helps explain to the men why it really does take us women so long
> and it also answers that commonly asked question & shy; Why do women always go
> to the loos in pairs?
> It's so your friend can hold the door, hang onto your bag and pass
> you tissue under the door!