Alan ,,i just wanted to say what a fantastic post ,thankyou for sharing that ,it would be great to read more of your adventures,why dont you write something for us ??
Cal x
Well Cal,
You asked for it!! More Tales of the wandering Pom
Soaking wet hankies held as the train slowly made the bend, leaving behind Newcastle station and both our Mams and our two best friends desperately waving as if we were away to Flanders or some terrible fate and we would never be seen again! Such was emigrating as a ten pound Pom in 1971.
We were Melbourne bound and the tears were dry before we roared past York, we reached London which was a place we had not even visited, we hadn’t a clue how to even get the tube and watched the first one arrive and depart again as we casually picked up our cases only for the doors to close in our faces! We nearly threw the cases right through the other side when the next one came!!
In those days you has the choice of either six weeks on the boat or to fly, we chose to fly and it was a great adventure. If anyone thinks today’s flights are arduous then they should have travelled then. It was about thirty hours flying time if my memory serves me correctly. This was only the start as we actually flew into Perth an there was some sort of air dispute on. We then changed aircraft and flew on to Sydney and then a 12 journey down to Melbourne.
We boarded the coach at Sydney Airport along with a variety of nationalities; we were immediately struck by a very large Italian family who seemed to be travelling with 3 generations. We all had different “ Prefect” coloured badges on which we never did fathom out why. All was going well until we got to the Victorian border fruit fly control barrier. A large uniformed officer boarded the bus and explained that no one was allowed to carry any fruit over the border and it must be either consumed within the next five minutes or it was to be confiscated. Well I thought my pants would never dry, tears streamed down our cheeks as this tall Italian with the large bag of Oranges was babbling on and as they all frantically peeled two dozen oranges to try to beat the deadline!! Absolutely hilarious.
At two in the morning we achingly alighted in the middle of Melbourne and after we heard our names called we were whisked of in a private car to a large Victorian house will an attached annex and given a room. This was nothing like what we had heard from our friends at home which said we would be put up in Army type barracks along with hundred of others!! This was Posh!!
I think we upset the cook next morning as our bodies were in a state of suspended animation and we were served up a huge bowl of cereal (Weeties I think) and then a plate of (I kid you not), steak, lamb chop two eggs bacon beans and two sausages and a pile of beans!! We could only pick at it and I don’t think he was amused.
Anyway the manager said I know you will be bushed so I will get you a Taxi and go and have a look at Melbourne. This was better and away we went, mind you we were in for a nasty surprise!
As most know the Oz seasons follow the UK seasons and this went for the fashions too, I was getting a bit sick of some of the wolf whistle as my wife was wearing a mini skirt etc but I did not reckon on me getting them from some of the gays!!!
At home I was an avid Newcastle United supporter and had shopped in Malcolm McDonald’s newly opened boutique (Supermac was Newcastle’ and England’s centre forward at the time and I was star struck. I let them sell me the latest gear which was (Now don’t laugh), 20” bell bottomed hipsters, a shirt with an enormous collar and platform soled shoes with a wooden Cuban heel!! OK laugh. This was the only day that these were worn much to the amusement of my OH.
Day two in Australia and we were up and ready for the world. I was called into the immigration Officers office and he had an enormous ledger which he was avidly thumbing through (this was a list of all the company’s in Victoria which were seeking labour).
I was down as a fitter welder and before I knew it in we were both in a taxi going for an interview. It was at a place called Everhot boilers in Port Melbourne and they made domestic steel cylinders and oven tops etc.
I was sent in for a test and approached by supervisor and he asked me in broken English if I could use semi automatic. I replied that I had not used it before and gave a moan and then spluttered, “sorry mate I though you were a bloody Wog! (Endearment for anybody else that doesn’t come from the British Isles!!) It turned out he was from Coventry and he talked in broken English all day! No problem he said, I will show you how it works and when you go out to see the manager I will tell him you’re the best welder I’ve ever seen so stick out for a hundred bucks a week because he will offer you 85!
The Yugoslav manager was raging as I kept insisting that I had other interviews and thought I could get more, he eventually caved in and the job was mine.
Back we went to the hostel and the manager was straight on the phone and twenty minutes later a lady estate agent came and again we were whisked away to view three furnished flats in the St Kilda area, we picked one, paid the bond, came back for our cases and moved in!
That night there was a knock on the door, who the hell knows we are here we thought?
I carefully opened the door to see a smartly dressed guy who said “I’m sorry to bother you but Mrs … at the estate agency gave me your name and told me you had just arrived and will be working in Port Melbourne. My name is Peter and I own a car yard I’m originally from Coventry and you will want a car as the public transport is rubbish, here’s my card if you can give me a chance”.
I asked him where his lot was and he said it was just up the road, away we went bought a car and drove it back!
Not in the country three days and I have a job, a flat and wheels, not bad, not bad, now the adventure can begin.
Keep looking for the further adventures of The Wandering Pom.
Location: From Bury,Manchester To Jimboomba, Brisbane
Posts: 8,180
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Thanks Alan,,i moved your post as they make great reading and im sure other memebers will find your travels as interesting as i do ,,i must say you make great reading and i can almost picture you in bell bottoms and wedges !!!!lol,,roll on episode 2
thankyou
Cal x
TRA sent 25/10/07
Start University of Western Sydney on 25th february. 2008
Acknowledged 29/10/07
Everyones medicals finalised except mine. Specialists medical report for me sent 07/12/07
House on market Oct 07/changed agents 13/12/07 Roll on January....
18/12/07 The Visa man he says YES !!!!!!!
Fly on 19th January.
Well life was certainly different, but my wife was like a small rabbit caught in the headlights, she didn’t go out without me as she thought everyone would know she was a POM! Well with a Geordie accent she could just about be right.
It took nearly six weeks before she was brave enough to go for an interview and guess what? She got the job as Telephonist Receptionist because they loved her accent! Bloody weird.
My job took a turn for the better as life welding cylinders was not what I had in mind, I scanned the pages of the Age which had huge job sections on a Wednesday and a Saturday, such was the demand then that when I rang up to enquire (Gordon Brothers PTY in Brunswick) they cajoled me into clocking out at lunchtime and going up for an interview!!
They wanted me to start there and then but I managed to hold them off a few days until the Monday.
This was more like it, site work putting in large diameter pipe work for a refrigeration company I loved it and I got really stuck into it as I did not want to be labelled a lazy Pommy B******
This certainly paid off as when the job was finished I was asked to stay on with the service department even though I knew nothing about refrigeration!
So all in all it took about two months to be right in the swing so now lets plan the weekends.
I remember buying a large map of Victoria and we would take turns at closing our eyes and picking a destination.
One of our first trips was to Bells beach which held the surfing championships each year (still does?).
We teamed up with a couple of lads and one girl we met in the hostel on arrival and off we went in Ricks car which was a Beetle (What is it about us POMS?) I buy a mini Rick buys a Beetle and Peter a lad from Newcastle as well, buys of all things a Morris Minor? I think we had the stupid notion that anything other than either British or German was rubbish! How wrong we were.
Anyway we arrive there on a glorious day in the middle of the Melbourne winter which to us was like a summer’s day in Whitley Bay!
The two girls sat huddled behind a small dune while we all stripped off and thrashed around in the surf. Strangely we were alone and for our first time in the Australian water very, very inexperienced. This nearly turned into tradgedy as Rick reckons we should be swimming out to the second wave and body surfing in on that. He thought that we were getting bundled about too much by the crashing wave that was hitting us at the waters edge.
Rick dove in and out he went as we looked on anxiously. Young and stupid comes to mind or maybe just too reckless for our own good but Rick was struggling to get back in!! every time he swam for the beach his timing was off and he swam against the retreating waves. Panic! We tried holding arms and wading it but were battered all ways by the large rollers. We were really panicking now as we screamed at Rick, Swim, Swim now, now.
Eventually he must have struck out at the correct time as he slithered onto the beach utterly exhausted. Now we let rip at him and he suffered a torrent of abuse albeit with a little humour thrown in. “Didn’t you hear me shouting at you Rick” no he gasped, yeah I was shouting where’s the F-ing car keys!!!
Rick still lives there and we still drop the occasional mail to each other, married a Thai girl and has two stunning looking kids. He was a very lucky Pom that day.
Our next trip was a little nearer to the Dandenong Mountains, a nice easy trip and by now we are easily integrating into the Oz way of doing things, armed with an Esky filled with beer, meat and salad etc and even better I have a piece of ¼” thick steel plate which I got from work to act as our mobile BBQ.
We snaked our way up and marvelled at how it resembled the UK with it’s Devonshire cream teas etc. We stopped at a nice clearing and getting a few boulders to act as a fire guard I cooked steaks and drank ice cold beer from the esky. We sat there marvelling at how clear and blue the sky was, and listening to the bell birds tinkling and the fantastic sound of the Kookaburras. Large sulphur crowned parrots and an array of colourful parakeets all added to our appreciation of how lucky we were to be here.
I threw a T Bone to one side and was amazed to see a Kookaburra swoop down and take it! I thought the buggers just ate grubs or something! This bird seemed to be beating the bone to death! Maybe it wanted to be sure it was dead.
We also came upon a centre that had fantastic stone carvings of aboriginals and half man half Kangaroo, these were carved out of the rock as it lay. The place name escapes me but it’s definitely worth a visit.
We also took a trip down to Wilsons Prom, which in the early seventies was pretty much unspoilt. They say it’s bit more touristy now which is a pity as it’s a spectacular spot. It’s a straightforward drive and when you get there you park up and that’s it, everywhere you go you have to walk, signs that read “Lighthouse 7 ½ hours” !! we took one that read two hours and set off, passing a couple that handed us a couple of sticks saying,” here make plenty of noise as they say there’s a few snakes along the trail” Great I thought, the pan leader is going to freak and we will end up back in the car!! But no, here was a new woman, full of pioneering spirit! “I think he is talking rubbish” she said, that other guy back there said the place was a swarm of flies and there is hardly any. I didn’t dare say that she had what looked like a small shag carpet of them on her now sticky wet back!!!
Anybody who may have had the good luck to go to WP will tell you that, because the place is protected, the animals have no inherent fear of you and there are wallaby’s skipping along beside you, Koalas we spotted 8 feet from the ground merrily munching away on their eucalyptus lunch! There is a great bridge over a small outlet to a lovely beach, we stretched the day out and drove home in the dark.
As most know Australia gets it’s fair share of holidays which fall mostly onto weekends so they become the long weekends with three days of exploring to do. We decided on a whim to go and see Adelaide for the weekend so last minute plans were drawn up. I dashed out for a map and saw that it was fair drive and still having a Pommie brain, reasoned that I better take a can of petrol as it looks like there is nothing in between!
In the event we must have past a gas station every ten miles!!
We did not even contemplate that we would not get any accommodation either on the way there or back. We thought that it being a long weekend that most people would be down at the beach or doing jobs around the house, (Forgot we were in Australia again!).
We decided we would go the inland route as it was the quickest and then return by the coastal route as it was a little more scenic.
We arrived in Adelaide at around 12.30 on a Saturday and it was shut!!!! Nobody mentioned this at work? All we managed to see was the parks and a look around the city streets! Bugger.
Having been up all day I’m getting a bit weary, no room at the Inn so I suggested that we just drive back so far.Then Park in a lay-by for a few hours and catch a kip. By this time it’s pitch black and if you haven’t experienced an Australian night sky in the middle of nowhere, then break the bank and do it! A fantastic sight.
So here we are sitting in a mini at a small lay-by gazing at the stars, well I say I need to catch a few hours, sliding the seat back a bit…… silence? I said.. yes yes I know but I need the toilet!! OK not a problem, get out do what women do behind the car problem solved?
Silence…. Are you getting out or what? There is no bloody way I’m getting out in the dark have you heard the noise outside there is all sorts of things flying about!!
But sweetheart it’s 11.30 at night if you have to go you will have to go now as it doesn’t get light until about 6am!!
I swear to you that that girl held it until first light and then she dashed out and on came the radio to drown the noise as I thought there was a dray horse letting loose!
I forgot to mention that when we were arranging the sleeping positions (remember it’s a mini) I was not allowed to open the car doors to get her into the back seat so if you can imagine my wife (5’ 2” and quite petite) clambering over my head to get into the back seat? Hold that thought as just then a giant MAC truck illuminates us with his headlights blasts on his air horn, rolls the window down and yells “Ya dirty lucky B******”
Next morning we head off in search of a mikbar to get a roll and a coffee and quite forget that I’m supposed to be going back by the coastal route, we end up a good few miles back along the road we came on. Bugger again, out comes my trusty map, “Ah no problem here, look there a little road a few miles ahead that connects us with the coastal one, we just go through here look, Little Desert”
You know when you should have put your head in a paper bag and gave it a good shake? We I should have! It turned into 25 miles of bone shaking road with small whirligigs blowing across the car and bouncing it around, lordly was I glad to get off it.
We arrived home shattered but alive and boasting to our mates about how we diced with death driving across a desert in the middle of nowhere!! Yeah right.
You would make a best selling travel writer any day that you choose, mate. I'm NOT kidding.
We want to hear the rest of the story of your early years in Oz, please. Then once you've settled into Oz again this time, we are going to need regular updates on your travels around NSW and QLD, please.
Did you choose to go to Melbourne or were you conscripted to do so by the Powers That Were? Did the place not have an airport in those days?
Hi Gill,
Nope, you got to choose where you were heading and Melbourne did have an airport (same one as today, Tullamarine) but they were in the middle of a dispute and we had to land in Perth, fly to Sydney and then bus it down to Melbourne. I think it would see me off these days but then it was an exciting adventure.
Episode three coming up!
Life in St Kilda is good and I soon start venturing out to check out the men’s pub scene, I have been in Australia a few months and I hadn’t been out on my own doing the bloke thing, seeking mates and general men’s chat.
My wife suggests the pub along the road called The Junction which is where the tram splits for Fitzroy Street and Dandenong road. It looks a bit rough (bear in mind I’m from Newcastle now!) but in I go. My first impression was to turn on my heel and head back home! It seemed to be full of Aboriginals and it was like a scene from a movie when the white man comes into a Harlem night club and the whole place stops dead!
I slink up to the bar where I’m stared at by the thankfully, white barman. Errr a beer please, waddaya want a glass a pot or a middie? Erm whats the biggest? A Fack** Jug mate Ha Ha ha the whole bar is laughing now.
I settle for a pot and I still think he is making me look like an idiot as he produces this grubby looking glass to pour the beer in. Heart hammering I stutter, err can I have a clean glass mate? Eh? All my F-IN Glasses are clean as the frosted glass slowly clears “Oh Christ I’ve dropped a right clanger here”
I look up expecting to be beaten to a pulp by this manic barman or maybe one of his aboriginal mates but lo and behold he’s grinning all over his face and he says you must be a F***** POM then? Brian’s me name as his gnarled hand swallows mine and these are me regulars pointing to the black fellas. I’m sipping my beer thinking well they don’t look that menacing and then one of them came over and asked if I followed Rugby? It turned out that they were all Maoris from NZ (I didn’t ask what they were doing there, that was enough excitement for one night).
With two wages coming in we ate out quite a bit, usually take a ways but now and then a restaurant. What you have to remember is that you have now just stepped into Giant land as all the fruit and vegetables seems to be enormous and seafood is cheap and plentiful.
We discovered fantastic Gelato ice cream and if you haven’t eaten at Leos Spaghetti bar then you should.
At the bottom of St Kilda it peels away to the left along Ackland street where the best cakes my wife has ever tasted are made (she should know she’s a well known chocoholic).
For the first time in my short career I was enjoying going to work, sun shining, out in the fresh air, everyone at work friendly and my boss and his wife extraordinary so. They became like surrogate parents, we were invited to all sorts of dances where we swore the spot prizes were rigged in our favour. My bosses wife was the Female version of Dame Edna Everage (Eh did I say that right there?). She was and still is a Hoot. I always remember visiting them years later, we share a complaint in that we both have narrow tear ducts which result in tears running down my cheeks whenever a cold wind is blowing (most days when in Newcastle).
Anyway we are having the obligatory Barbie at their place and she is describing an operation she had done to have plastic tubes put in! “Oh Alan Daarling, don’t have it done, it’s a nightmare, especially when you sneeze as you have to be quick and stick your fingers into the corner of your eyes otherwise you will blow snot over everyone!!
People like these are gems, my ex boss opened up his home to us and insisted we stay with them. As we arrived he took me to the most important bits first, “ here’s a big fridge in the garage Alan it’s full of beer, here’s another one in the kitchen, the wine’s in the bottom and here’s a small one in my den, just when you find it drink It”!!
We enjoyed a family BBQ as he had built an enormous one out the back complete with a flue going up through a roof overhang.
He hand feeds wild parrots every night in his backyard, where the Parrot leader (If there is such a thing) comes down and feeds while the rest of the flock sit up in the gums until they think it’s safe and then down they come.
One of the nicest places we went to was Lake Eildon which is about 100 miles north on Melbourne, there was only one hotel there and we could not get in the first night so slept in the car, (Austin 1800, still hadn’t learned about Aussie cars!!).
Don’t get a car with leather seats is also a lesson that you learn quickly with third degree burns on the back of your bare legs when you have stupidly left it sitting in the sun for a few hours!
We got into the Hotel the second night and watched the sun come up and having an early breakfast while feeding the parrots on the balcony, hardly an sound except for the splash of trout leaping in the lake. A magical place but I suppose progress may have caught up with it now.
By now we have moved flats to live in a nearly new apartment in Patterson street just one block from the St Kilda sea front, complete with security codes to enter. We are on the top floor opposite a couple of Gay’s who were a nice enough duo. By now my wife is pregnant and I kid you not she was sick every day for eight months+ I remember being downstairs washing the car when one of the Gay lads asked about her. As I opened my mouth to speak there was a horrendous sound of my wife throwing up! I closed my mouth again and he nodded and walked on.
I always thought that when women have strange urges when pregnant that it was all a bit put on but having to get up at two in the morning to visit an all night milk bar to satisfy her desperate craving for liquorish put me straight!
Our son is born in the Mercy Maternity Hospital but although I was supposed to be present I messed up and missed it, much to the annoyance of the consultant who was on the tannoy system for me while I dozily went outside to feed the parking meter as we had been there since 3am and it’s now 8am.! It didn’t help much when I went in and declared that he looked like a frog!! Me and my big mouth!
I didn’t know then but I was on borrowed time and that I would be back in Newcastle within six months.
