My god i know this is going to sound like i have lost my mind,but I THINK I HAVE
I feel down and sad,because it seems i am making myself feel like that.I keep thinking of everything and everybody in the uk,and re-living my memories in my head as though i am watching a video. When i do this it makes me so sad,even my oh says "pick ya bloody feet up",as i am even walking like i have the wieght of the world on my shoulders.
I know i dont want the uk,i just want everthing that i miss in the uk.But i cant have what i miss so what do i do.
I have tried to make new friends,but once you have met somebody you then cant make them like you,i do try but they run a mile.it is very hard,trying to build a new life down under,while getting used to saying goodbye to your old one,and not wanting to let go of the old one.Is there any advice anyone can give me before i loose my sanity.
I just want to feel safe and secure in this new life,but instead i feel sad and alone
It's really hard. Are you here alone or with family?
I am out here on my own and have a real see saw of emotions.
Some days I want to be here, others I want to be in the UK with all my friends and family around me. I don't hate the UK or anything and most days I enjoy being here, but the hardest thing I find is not having a network of friends and as active a social life as at home.
Do you work? If not, maybe getting a part time job would help you to get out and meet people. I have done lots of things since being here, but have not really made friends through that at all so don't know what to suggest.
I have another friend in Sydney who lives in Manly and she socialises with a group of Brits but they don't know any aussie people - to me that isn't the point of being here.
Sorry I can't be more help, but you are not alone in feeling like this. I am due to return to the UK for Christmas and have to decide today whether to come back in January or not. I know I will be depressed in the UK in January, but will love being home seeing my friends and family etc etc.
I know we both arrived in August & yes it is very hard to start a new life. I thought the hard part was over when we got the visa but NOOOOOOOOOO. I was feeling like you last week first birthday here on saturday & really really missed my friends from the UK. All I can suggest is stay positive it takes time so I am told. We have met just a few people all brits I many add. I think all the Aussies are hiding in their back yards lol. Just pm me if you want to chat or to meet up I know we aren't far from each other (can't rem at the mo where you are but I know we aint far). The heat has frazzled my brain today .
Janette
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Like Jannette said the really hard stuff starts when you get here - it makes the visa rollercoaster seem like a picnic. You find yourself adrift without the comfort of familiarity (even stupid things like shopping can seem hard work because you don`t know where is best to go or what is best) and it is scarey. What I would say to you is hang in there and take small steps, they then build up to bigger things and that then becomes familiar. We arrived in June, we got a dog, I walk the dog every day and started talking to people in the park, I`ve been invited round to peoples homes for coffee through this and when I walk down the street I usually meet someone who calls my name and says hi (or asks how the dog is )I also said hello to strangers in the street as I was going by and they now stand and chat - I felt a bit stupid at first but everyone has been very friendly and polite. It is perhaps easier for me because I had to do all this when I moved from Scotland to the South of England so I knew I had to get out there and push myself a bit. You are starting a new life - don`t be too hard on yourself because it`s not easy - good luck & I hope you feel better soon.
Last edited by ErmintrudeMcMoo; 12-11-2007 at 07:04 AM.
Have to agree that the hard bit is establishing yourselves once here but remember that alot of the things you had in the UK like friendships were developed over years and lifetimes so you're not going to be able to replace all that quickly. You'll start to develop friendships and like McMoo says, it does get easier once the little things like familiarity become less significant.
Ali
__________________ I am toopositive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated!
You are not alone in feeling like you do. We have been here 5 months now and this last few weeks it has hit me, and I have been feeling homesick. Also when we 1st got here and about a month in I had a really bad time, but came through it. Even tho the last few weeks I have not been feeling my normal jolly self I just think about thy we done this....A better life for all of us.
We have made friends in the time that we have been here, both POMS and OZZIES through various different things like school, my oh work and this forum!! I even made a friend while doing some shopping in target and we are in contact!! To be honest I would not be concerned if you socialise with just POMS as at the end of the day everybody needs friends and me personally I wouldnt turn someone away just cos they were a POM!!
Everyone has been there, felt that and had days/weeks/months ilke you!
Im giong through a terrible homesickness thing at the moment and missing my parents dreadfully! Luckily for me they are planning to come here to live so things will be better for me. Still raw and painful though when you just feel like you want to ring up, pop over to their house etc.
I am in Sinnamon Park, are you coming to the 1st december meeting??? Put faces to names!!!!
Catch up with everyone there and have a drink with us all.
Whats your background? Do you have family here etc?
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Joanne & Mark
On our own again!
As the posts before me show, you really aren't alone in feeling the way you do. Unfortunately, there will always be a certain amount of 'homesickness' with such a big move but having been in Singapore for 3 and a half years and been back to the UK 3 times in the space of our stay here, I like to call my homesickness 'thegrassisalwaysgreenerontheothersideness'!! If I was back in the UK I know I wouldn't be missing friends or family but I'd be complaining about the weather (I'm REALLY not looking forward to that when OH and I go home for Xmas next month!), transport, politics and feeling like I wished I was a million miles away sipping Singapore Slings.
In my first year of being in Singapore I didn't really interact with many people here and there was no wonder that I was feeling lonely! A few things that I found useful in meeting nice, like-minded people:
join a volunteer organistion, be it for charity or something else
attend a social dance activity like salsa, line dancing or even pole dancing (I found some great girlfriends doing this, plus it was a great workout!!)
find out if anyone in your area is organising a PiO coffee morning and if not, start one yourself! That's what I intend to do when I get to Melbourne
Smile! I know it may sound strange but whenever I feel really sad and down the quickest pick-me-up is to go out and put on a smile. It might be hard at first because all you want to do is curl up in a ball and hide under the duvet (that, plus some strange stares you might get from grinning insanely like a Chesire cat - might just be me ) but it feels really good when someone you don't know genuinely smiles back.
I hope that you feel more like yourself soon and know that you can always share how you are feeling with us lot, 'cos we're all in the same boat!!
Hi Mandy
Sorry to hear your feeling so miserable - we are leaving England on New Years Eve we are coming to Queensland not sure where we will be settling yet.
I suppose no one can prepare you for the feelings your going to go through - we are expecting difficult times ahead - but hopefully not too bad !!!
Have you got children as we are thinking our 8 year old will be a link to meeting friends with school runs etc
Our 13 year old doesn't want to leave her friends hear but having said when we have been on holiday and she meets up with new friends she is upset after a week of knowing them.
Lots of people have said to us that around the 6 month time is when people feel most homesick.
Thinking of you hope you come through this sad time soon.
Good Luck Natalie
Hi mandie,
I am not far from you in narangba and would love to meet up with you for a chat and good cuppa! I know exactly where you are coming from. I was extremely excited to be going to Oz and although I knew I would miss my m8's as I had a good set I had missed my sister and best friend more as they had left to live in oz over a year earlier. We had a few days in Singapore which was fab and couldnt wait to get here. But the minute we stepped off the plane at Brisbane we felt this horrible tension. My sister and my best friend were both at the airport to greet us with their families but the atmosphere was awful! They dont get on and we didnt know who to talk to 1st or more etc for fear of upsetting the other. They dont live near eachother so we had pressure of deciding where to live knowing we would upset someone if it wasnt by them. In the end we chose Narangba as it took my husband an hour and a half to get to brisbane from caloundra and wasnt worth my kids not seeing their dad in the morning or night just to be by my sister when we came over for all of our futures. We had only been here 2 weeks and my husband was sent away to Adelaide for training. I hated being on my own but managed. Then my husband was bitten by a spider there and by the end of the week was so poorly he was taken into theatre to remove a massive abcess that had developed within the bite. I was on my own again taking my daughter to her 1st day at school on my own and then my lil uns to their 1st day at nursery too. To say I was feeling as if everything had come crashing down was an understatement.... I missed my friends support then I can tell you - BUT I survived. My new house is opposite a lake and a park and my kids have their own rooms. My daughter loves her new school and when I went to feed the ducks the other day I looked at the view of the mountains from my house I knew I could never go back. I have decided to do something positive - either return to college or set up my own playgroup as there is a need in Narangba for it. That way I can meet other mums. I really hope you are feeling better soon and if I can be of use in anyway please feel free to let me know. Sorry this is an essay but I have not been on here for ages and that was great to get off my chest, lol. Now I will enjoy my rather large glass of wine.... take care, sending hugs to you xxx
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whats going on with me !!!!
it is very hard,trying to build a new life down under,while getting used to saying goodbye to your old one,and not wanting to let go of the old one.
Is there any advice anyone can give me before i loose my sanity.
.
)I also said hello to strangers in the street as I was going by and they now stand and chat - I felt a bit stupid at first but everyone has been very friendly and polite. It is perhaps easier for me because I had to do all this when I moved from Scotland to the South of England so I knew I had to get out there and push myself a bit. You are starting a new life - don`t be too hard on yourself because it`s not easy - good luck & I hope you feel better soon.
) but it feels really good when someone you don't know genuinely smiles back.
