Hi feeling really down, it started this morning I have 14yr old son who has girlfriend and up until six weeks ago was the one really keen going to oz, but obviously now the girlfriend appears does,nt want to go had lots of tears from him to the point he has been saying he is not coming and this morning packed his bag and was leaving home. I have been quite stressed and emotional recently with everything house sale nearly completed sad to leave my home going into temporary accomodation until october then onto Perth and then this morning so I broke down. But all day just couldn,t stop crying blubbered on phone to husband at work chatted to my son was quite touched he ended up cuddling me could see how upset I was. He chats to his girlfriend on msn and texts her alot but hubby has banned the lot so there is a horrible atmosphere in the house at mo. really don,t know how to deal with this lot and hate to see my son upset.
Has anyone else had or got this problem?
Sorry to ramble on but it makes me feel better just to sit here and type, especially as on my own they all gone to bed.
Hope you're feeling a little better by the time your reading this. I'm sure the peeps who've got teenages will be able to offer you more advise than I can as my daughter is 12 , but I do remember thinking I was glad we were leaving before a boyfriend appeared on the sceen. I do know they think there whole world is coming to an end, but he does sound like a sensible lad - Tell him when he's 18 he can go back to UK if that's what he wants (also tell him he'd have to buy his own ticket - I know my daughter hates spending her own money lol).
We used skype for the first time at weekend as hubby's uncle uses it to speak to his son and Nigels parents were there so the 'phoned us' it's brilliant and free so that's another option for keeping in touch. His girlfriend could also come and visit you.
Hugs
Ali
__________________ I am toopositive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated!
If your 14 year old son were mine, I would get him by the ear and march him on to the plane. Kids SOON forget one another when a New Squeeze heaves into view, in my experience.
Try not to worry. It WILL all turn out OK in the end, I feel sure.
It's an emotional time, and perhaps it's this as well as the girlfriend that's affecting your son. My son was only 10, but he went from being 'up for it' to telling us he didn't want to go, days before the flight. It was hard, because we knew he was scared and unsure, but by then we were committted so we came over and he loves it!
I would imagine he really needs to keep talking about it, and to her. I mean there's a fair while before you leave, and who knows where their relationship will be by then? If it is that close, I'm sure they will be able to see one another in the future. My daughter's friend is in the UK (and 14) and is having an internet romance with one of her friends over here! They've been 'together' for well over a year now...which seems strange to me, but only 'cos I'm old (apparently!).
It sounds like you have a lovely son, and I'm sure it'll all seem worth it when you get here. Sorry I haven't any great words of wisdom*, but hugs and anyway!
LC
* Can't 'do' wisdom; too stupid....
Location: Moonee Valley, Melbourne - Formerly Eastleigh, Hampshire
Posts: 1,327
Thanks: 0
Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts
My Mood:
Hi Cheryl,
just had to reply to say I am sorry you are having a bad day
I have a 21yr old and an 18yr old who are coming with us but not fantastically happy about the move, which is understandable as it is not something they have decided to do, we have made the decision and thier choice is to stay in UK and fend for themselves or come with us. I am sure that we have some big stressful conversations to come. No boyfriend or girlfriend (that I know about) to add to the stress thankgoodness, something I am dreading happening........
Keep your chin up, things will get better I am sure, just keep reminding yourself about why you made the mad decision to embark on this process.
take care
__________________
Visa - MODL 136 Childcare Coordinator
1st TRA application, Nov 06, as a Childcare Coordinator came back positive as Hairdresser so...........
TRA ack 20/03/ app 27/04/07
Visa lodged 14/05/07
PC back 10/07/07
visa ack 14/08/07
C O 26/09/07 (11/09/07)
meds arrived 22/10/07
VISAs granted 14/12/07
Hi Cheryl
I really feel for both you and your son. My daughter (then 15) had a boyfriend last yr for about 10 mths and although she knew we would be off to Oz this yr (hopefully) she had started to say things like 'can we not go til I've done my A-levels' etc, never got to the 'I'm not going' stage though as they split up last Oct, only to start seeing each other again in Feb this yr......, not so serious now though.
We made a big thing of saying he can come and stay etc, also he's now at college training to be an electrician, which we said was good cus he could get his own visa etc.
Sorry I cant help much but I'm thinking about you though and hope things settle down soon.
Hi feeling really down, it started this morning I have 14yr old son who has girlfriend and up until six weeks ago was the one really keen going to oz, but obviously now the girlfriend appears does,nt want to go had lots of tears from him to the point he has been saying he is not coming and this morning packed his bag and was leaving home. I have been quite stressed and emotional recently with everything house sale nearly completed sad to leave my home going into temporary accomodation until october then onto Perth and then this morning so I broke down. But all day just couldn,t stop crying blubbered on phone to husband at work chatted to my son was quite touched he ended up cuddling me could see how upset I was. He chats to his girlfriend on msn and texts her alot but hubby has banned the lot so there is a horrible atmosphere in the house at mo. really don,t know how to deal with this lot and hate to see my son upset.
Has anyone else had or got this problem?
Sorry to ramble on but it makes me feel better just to sit here and type, especially as on my own they all gone to bed.
Cheryl x
Hi Cheryl, so sorry to hear about your stress, I wish there was an easy answer. Dont forget everybodys emotions in your family will be runnng high. Im sure you are doing all the right things for your son. Its so hard being that inbetween age, not quite an adult but no longer a child. Hormones and the like. (actually that sounds like me lol) Maybe if your son does get to speak with his girlfriend though it might ease the tension. Do you have a good relationship with her, could you get her on your side, remind them about true love and how distance and time cannot break the bond (rubbish I know but it might help them) and helping them will help you. I wish you loads of support and I hope things work out for all of you Gilly
Firstly would like to thank you all for your lovely replies, today has been a bit better went to cinema with my son and daughter just to take our minds off yesterday, also to occupy my son but did laugh he crept downstairs early this morning and was on msn to girlfriend love hey little devil.
I think your right I know this relationship may not last long and as my husband says his only 14 he does as his told, but I'm the peacemaker at home trying to make it all happy and your right its a pretty emtional time at mo lots of tension I think I needed a good cry.
Hi Cheryl
You have a good old cry lovey !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im going through the same, so know excatly how it is.... my son is 16 and jut left school. He has been going out with his girlfriend for quite a while. I honestly though it would have fizzled out by now, but hey, surprise, surprise, they are still going strong !!!!!!!!!!
He certainly doesnt want to go, and he said im ruining his life by dragging over to OZ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, thanks Mum !!!!
The only way we've got round it is to say if they still feel the same way about each other within a few months, she is welcome with us anytime, and she's currently looking into the student visa thingy... so she may be joining us !!!!!! But i'd rather that, than leave him in the UK..........
I know your son is younger, so maybe if you leave them too it, it might just naturally come to an end before you even go to OZ ( fingers crossed!!!) as they both know it will happen eventually............ whats your time scale for going ?????????
Maybe if your hubby bans them from seeing or speaking to each other, it might actually push them closer together !!!!!!!! Just a thought...... as been through that as a teenager myself once .
Hope it all straightens itself out for you and peace reigns once more in your household.... we can all wish cant we ???!!!!!!
Good luck and your not alone ..........
Sally-ann x
__________________ Finally living in Mount Martha, Melbourne......... and loving it !!!!!!!!! TRA passed - Feb. 07 ...........Visa granted (136- General Plumber) 14th June !!!!!!!! Landed in Oz 9th December 2007!!! PIO Skilled Trades database for Victoria: http://www.freewebs.com/victorianskilledtraderslist/index.htm
anyway!
Maybe if your son does get to speak with his girlfriend though it might ease the tension. Do you have a good relationship with her, could you get her on your side, remind them about true love and how distance and time cannot break the bond (rubbish I know but it might help them) and helping them will help you. I wish you loads of support and I hope things work out for all of you Gilly 
