My husband told his parents yesterday and it didn't go down very well. It wasn't as bad as expected, no tears or shouting but they weren't as positive as mine they muttered something about country going to turn into a desert because of climate change, um, we will still have the same routine of going to work, that kind of thing but they did also say that they had done it themselves when they were younger. We would have liked a bit more of a positive response.
The thing is I've gone a bit wobbly since then, I thought it would be telling my parents that would do that to me but they have been great. We explained to them that we weren't looking at this through rose tinted glasses but his mother then said to him that they had just moved house to be nearer their grandchildren (they are still about an hour away) and now we would be moving, we do feel bad about this but our priority is our children and they still have another son and daughter in law who are only about 20 minutes away but unfortunately they don't have children.
Just need to get back to my positive thinking.....
Hi Wendy,we have told my hubbys side and they were fantastic , cant wait for us to go so they can come to visit,Ha ve told all my side, apart from my mum,because i know how she will react, not very well,,i know she wil put alot of guilt on to me about taking her grandsons away,no family or friends around,i could go on,all the negative things she will say, so leaving that one till a little later,my dad has also told me not to say anything to her yet .
I can see both sides,but at the end of the day its your life and you only get one shot at it, and if it doesn't work out you can always come back.
This is a tricky one, there have been a few threads on this suject, general dilemas,i think.
Anyway good luck with everything.
Beckyx
Its one thing we all dread. All at least one thing is for sure most people on here have not it or going to have to do it soon.
I told my mam about 2 weeks ago and its been a really emotional few weeks, with some things said that I'd wished hadnt been. This is the hardest thing I have done in my whole life but my focus is my 2 girls who are 2.5yr and 5mths. I have to say things have become much better over the last few days and I have just spent a nice weekend with her where we were actually able to discuss it without getting too fraught (although still emotional). She has started to ask questions and I think feels that to be involved in what we are doing is much more benefical that shutting it out. She has asked if she can look around this site to get a feel for why people are doing it etc (so I have to watch what Im saying lol).
OH told him mam yesterday, shes nearly 71 and has only his sister here. She was obviously upset but as its her family that live in OZ and that we will be going to then I think she will take some comfort in knowing that they will make sure that we are ok.
The next few weeks will be upsetting and awkward but you just have to stick with it until it passes and hopefully it will all come good in the end.
I guess I thought they would know where we were coming from because they had done it themselves. Anyway I think if it wasn't for the kids I would not be doing this and they come first plus I feel like I owe it to them and my hubby to at least give it a go, don't get me wrong I am not being dragged there kicking and screaming I do want to give it a go but obviously it helps when everyone is behind you.
Hi,
I know exactly how you feel. My mum found out by chance when the immigration consultant rung my home. She was babysitting!! I went through everything you are going through..emotionally. The guilt, the negative comments, the "how could you take the children out of their schools" What about my grandchildren. I think she thought we were going to a third world country. What you have to think about is your family life. You are a unit with your husband and children and they deserve to experience something different. We have never said its for ever and will always keep the door open to return to England if it doesn't work out. Think of it as an adventure, one that could last a life time if you wish. We leave the Uk in August and can't wait. Ofcourse its not going to be all rosy, but stay positive it could just be the answer to your dreams. But you will never know til you try it.
I think all parents have that same reaction, we had it, but we do make a point of speaking about it when we see them, eventually they can speak without crying and though its hard for them they know our reasons for going are good, and although they dont like it (because they`ll miss us & kids) they know its a good thing to do. And because they are parents they will want the best for you, im sure they made sacrafices along the line for their own family
donna
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arrived in adelaide 14th may 08
Hi
Guys this one is the hardest bit we have to kids both boys 1 and 3 and there granny is trying hard to be suportive but did say its like getting your heart ripped out whole your still alive which was great for my wife my dads fine with it says he would come and vist but know this would be diffrent if my mum was still alive but you have to do whats right for you sometimes.
aww Wendy - sorry to hear it was rather difficult!!
for sure you could every support possible!
but as i remember em&m's mum was dead against even talking about it and well, was not so nice to her (!) and now she's started to come around.
so give it some time and they will see it differently!
sure i can imagine it's not easy for them to 'let go' - but then again that's what parents are supposed to do lol
Just thought I'd add this as it seems relevant to this thread.
Years ago, pre children, my OH and I thought about emigrating but I dragged my heels and said - No way, I can't possibly move away from my mum, she would be devastated! So we decided against it.
Well, three years ago mum (along with new partner) announced she was moving to Crete and off they went leaving me, open mouthed, behind in UK!
I think we all have to do what's right for us - as lots have said, we only get one life let's take responsibility for ourselves. Although we have to consider our relatives we shouldn't plan our life around them.
Anyway, 10 years later we are now applying to OZ - better late than never! (But it would have been a lot easier without the kids!)
Take care - things will sort themselves out I'm sure.
.
