Just wanted to get a load off my chest with people who will understand how I feel.
I've had a really emotional day today. My little sister is still really upset about us wanting to go to Oz. We are really close, doing everything together...even work in the same office.
We booked tickets to see our favourite band today (Red Hot Chilli Peppers), got very excited! She then burst into tears as she said it will be the last time we go to see them together. That was it...I was off. Up until today I've managed to keep my cool when she's got upset, but today I just couldn't. Other than my husband she is the only person I am really close to, and the thought of leaving her behind is really painful. We see each other pratically every day and are always there for each other through thick and thin.
Today she said she knew I'd be ok in Oz, as I'm confident in myself and always love meeting new people and doing new things, but what about her? She doesn't know what she's going to do without her big sis looking out for her all the time, being there for her when she needs me. Now I feel awful and cant stop blubbing! I've looked after my sister for over 20 years (as our mum passed away when we were very young) and the bond is so strong! I promised my mum I would always take care of her and am now feeling like I'm breaking that promise. On the other hand I know that if my mum were alive she would wishing us all the luck in the world and cheering us on in achieving our dreams.
Sorry to have banged on, but I feel better just getting that all out.
Totally understandable - I think for most people Oz has absolutely everything you need going for it - except your friends and family.
Have you tried to convince her to come with?! My sis has gone and I'm going in bout 4 years - my mum says she'll come then too so it's just my other sis I need to convince and it'll be sorted!
It'll be all right tho - you wouldn't be human if you weren't gutted about leaving her - big up on the RHCP tickets though!
Hi Lou,
I do hope you are feeling a little better, it is going to be a very hard long road for both you,
you musnt feel as if you are breaking the promise to your mum as im sure your mum would understand that you have a life of your own too and that sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind and cut the apron strings so to speak, i hope that dosent sound bad but im sure your sister will cope and time is a great healer and the both of you will cope eventually without each other every day. I think (from my own feelings) that you will feel guilty for some time to come i know i did leaving 2 of my daughters in the uk with their dad but it dose get better and you have to learn not to blame yourself. At the end of the day we all only get one shot at life and have to do what makes us as indivudals happy.
Have a glass of wine and chill out - hopefully you will feel better in the morning.
Take care
Gizmo x
Hi Lou,
You've had an a realy yucky day. I'm sorry to hear that.
To repeat what the others have already said, is there no way she would come out as well?? Maybe when you've settled and she's visited she may well go for it herself. You never know, it may all slot into place.
Get you! getting tickets for a fab band, very jealous!!!! Hope you have an amazing time!
hays xx
PS FNCC will cheer you up. lol x
Thanks for the support! I still feel a bit teary but know I am doing the right thing.
Gizmo - that must have been really hard to do, I admire you for being able to!
I did talk to my sister about her coming over as well, but she has a son from her previous partner and cant ever see him agreeing to her taking to the other side of the world, she had a hard enough time movign him 20 minutes away!!
I'll keep working on her though, as she said if it wasnt for her son she'd do anything to join us. She has promised to come over and see us as soon as she possible can, and has already started to save for it!
Looking forward to having a good giggle at FNCC...will get the wine in the fridge ready (in fact better amke it 2 bottles as I ran out last week!!!)
It horrible when you have a one of those days, I know how u feel as I told my mam last thus and things have been really tense. It sounds to me like you mum would be proud that you brought up your sister to be so kind and loving, it sounds like you did a great job. You didnt mention is your sis was in the position to go to Oz but you never know in time she might visit and decide to join you.
I know it's hard but you have to think about what you want to do... you're not breaking your promise to your mum, but you have to remember you're her sister and not her mum and maybe if you're not there she might find that she doesn't need you to be there as much as she thought she did. It doesn't mean you care for her or love her any less by doing something that you feel is good for you and your family.
Hope that makes sense and doesn't sound negative (it's not meant to)
Ali x
p.s. Buy a carton of wine!
__________________ I am toopositive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated!
Ian&Lou,
I feel the same as it's not just us trying to get over to oz but I am also trying to find a way for my sister and her 2 boys as well. We are sort of sorted but most of my time is taken with ways to get them over. I cannot stand the thought of leaving my sister and her boys behind, it is sort of taking over my life knowing I know we can get over quite easily but they can not even though she work danm hard.
I didnt get those awful feelings until a week before we left. I was far to excited about getting the visa I did not think of the negatives of missing people like crazy.
It was such an emotional morning at Manchester airport last November and its all I think about - seeing both sets of parents and 5 sibings and their husbands, 2 nieces and 1 nephew all crying buckets as we were leaving. I did not realise how much I would miss them all as well as all my friends. We are sticking brisbane out this year as we have both sets of parents coming and my husbands sister and hubby and the we are coming home in October for a holiday after that we are deciding if we are coming home for good in January. Our feelings at the moment are that we are returning home.
It is really tough even with all the web cams, emails, text messages and phones. Nothing could have prepared me for these feelings.
Think all these reply posts to Lou´s tearful day sums up alot really, nothing or no one can ever prepare anybody for life on the other side of the world from those who we do love, and it is the other side of the world - all the emails, online webcam, phone calls,letters & parcels cannot replace the * talks - laughter - tears - hugs - fights * that we all have/had with our family members.
Esther, why are you thinking of going home ???
If only we could push Australia and England closer together life would be so much more manageable emotion wise - well i think so
gizmo
