Guest itskaren Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hi I need to get a few things off my chest so I hope most of you won't mind me using 'Poms in Oz' for doing this. We have been here since Dec 07 and I can honestly say I have never been so depressed in my life. I have 2 boys 10 and 7 in a lovely private school which they both love. I am a nurse working 4 nights one week and 5 nights the next. It is the same problems just in a different country. I have no friends as I am working all the time. My children are at school club sometimes at 7.30am so my husband can go to work. This was not how it was supposed to be. I would liked to have thought that I would not have been so naive as to think that things would be better over here but quite frankly in my opinion they are not. The only thing cheaper is the school fees. Unfortunatey my husband has had to go overseas for 2 weeks so therefore I have had to get an agency 'nanny' to sleep over as I need to work because of the dreaded 457 visa. Hardly worth me working. Looking back in my diary a year ago i was full of excitment and so much looking forward to our new life. We have sold everything in the Uk (we still have a little house that is onl the market) it has cost us about $100k to relocate including flights, 2 cars (secondhand) school fees the list goes on. So for all of those out there thinking about coming over think again. The grass is not always greener. this does not mean to say that things would be different for you. Sorry if I have upset anyone with this as some people only like positive comments on this forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kdal Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hey no need to be sorry, I think people are happy to hear the pros and the cons, but sometimes the negative comments are a little silly, i.e. the sun doesnt always shine here - well we all know that !! Is it 2 years you are tied to your job for on that visa type? You sound shattered and disappointed, do you think you are homesick? I hope someone on here can help ease your disappointment. Lifes not easy anywhere in the world anymore I dont think to be perfectly honest, it's a struggle thats for sure ! Good luck and chin up ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Thanks for that Kdal. I think you're right. It's a struggle probably everywhere. Not really sure if I am homesick. Family live in South Africa just miss lots of things really too many to mention. The visa is a 4 year one but I have signed a contract for a year which finishes in jan 09. I know there are so many people worse off than me with one thing and another. Just I have never felt so alone in all of my life. Appreciate the reply anyway! Kind regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mrs Braveheart Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hi Vul Just wanted to give you a big hug. We are on a 457 visa too. So no all about it. But keep your chin up girl things will get better. Things are the same over here but different country. Just wanted to give you a hug not much more I can say. Janette xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bonzer Sheila Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hi there I’ve seen enough of this forum to know that soon you should hear from some other Melbournites (sp?) who will offer solace and advice and may be even contact. Stay positive! I know there were times in Sydney when I’d get a phone call from home to say how envious they all were of us down under – I would have to remind them that drudgery is pretty much the same the world over! About once a month we tried to get out of the city for a couple of days….I think the trick was to do something we couldn’t possibly do in the UK! Hope you get some family time soon. Best wishes BS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hi Vul Just wanted to give you a big hug. We are on a 457 visa too. So no all about it. But keep your chin up girl things will get better. Things are the same over here but different country. Just wanted to give you a hug not much more I can say. Janette xxxxx Cor Janette you don`t half look different with your hat off:biglaugh::biglaugh: Malx aka Billy N M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Django Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Unfortunatey my husband has had to go overseas for 2 weeks so therefore I have had to get an agency 'nanny' to sleep over as I need to work because of the dreaded 457 visa. Hardly worth me working. Don't want to be funny but why are you on a 457 visa?:unsure: Surely as a nurse you could have gone out on a 136 or 175 (depending when you applied). You could then choose when you worked. We are going out on a indie PR visa which we have qualified for as a nurse. Pete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FREDF Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hi I was sorry to read how lonely you are. We arrived from UK on 1st May - has 7 days in Sydney with my sister and have been here in Melbourne for a week and a day. I was born here but lived in the UK for 30 years and my partner is british with a pr visa. Our plans have changed dramatically since we arrived. We were planning to settle around Frankston/mornington but Steve landed a job within 3 days in Preston which is north of the CBD. We have spent the last three days driving all the way up to North Melbourne to try and find a house. We should here about the one we want tomorrow so fingers crossed. Anyway I will be taking Steve to work at least 3 days a week and picking him back up so he doesnt have a 1.5 hour commute each day on top of a days work in a new job. I dont know which part of Melbourne you are in but if its possible would be happy to meet up for a coffee in the day time over the next few weeks. Have very broad shoulders and understand the need to dump everything occasionally. Let me know if you want to meet up or just email for a while. Keep your chin up, cheers Helen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 vul, they are natural feelings that you are feeling at this time in your life, you have left almost everyone behind that you love or had deep feelings for, family, friends, familiar faces & places. I went on this heart wrenching roller coaster ride 38 years ago, it took quite a few years for me to settle here, but it has all been worthwhile and I'm glad I stuck it out. Oz isn't everyones cup of tea, there are no failures in this immigration thing, some dreams can turn out to be nightmares, it seems to be the luck of the draw. Whatever you decide to do in the future, at least you can say you tried. :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daniel Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hi! Just wanted to offer the same as Helen, coffee and natter, if you're not too exhausted! I know that when I am worn out and OH is away I do get down, most people would I think. Have been here (Melbourne) a week now so homesickness etc hasn't really started yet although today I really noticed our pooch being locked up in quarantine, could do with a proper cuddle and OH or kids just won't do. OH starts new job week on Monday but we still don't know where we are going to rent permanently or where girls are going to school so lots of panicking ahead as well as entertaining 2 bored, fed up of looking at areas and sitting in the car kids. :arghh: I really can waffle sometimes and OH is doing my head in reading over my shoulder and correcting everything I type :realmad: so will shut up now. Hope you feel better soon. Love Emma x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 (((((hugs)))) vent away! So sorry that things are not going well at the moment. Hope things start to look up for you sooner rather than later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gemmahey Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 So sorry to hear not all has worked out the way you thought:sad: Sounds like you have been run ragged and work is taking it out of you physically and emotionally and you need some good quality ME time (which I know can be few and far between) and some quality time with your kids who you obviously adore. Hope it gets easier and dont let it get you down Keep smiling :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mrs Braveheart Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Cor Janette you don`t half look different with your hat off:biglaugh::biglaugh: Malx aka Billy N M :biglaugh::biglaugh: U like lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzy+1 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hi, sorry to hear things are not going too well at the moment. That seems like alot of night shifts you are working-i too am a nurse working nights on the 457 visa but they only roster me for 4 nights one week-3 the next, it is short 6 hours of the 76 hours per fortnight required to work but they put the other 6 down as unpaid leave. I dont think id be happy working 5/4 at all, could you not reduce the nights? Is the job in its self ok? as you can easily get any other hospital to take over your sponsorship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hi thanks all so much for your kind words. I have signed a contract to work 38 hours a week until end of Feb 09. As the night shifts I work are only 9 hours I am 2 hours short a week so once a fortnight i have to make this up so that's why I need to work 5 nights once a fortnight. I have tried to ask the nearest hospital (which is half hour drive away) if they can take over or sponser me but they have said no. We are in the middle of applying for perm. visas but this is anyones guess how long it will take. At the time we decided to come to Oz the agency told me the 457 was the best visa to come out on. Of course I now know differently. It is such a dilemma to be in. Do we stay because the children are happy or do we go back to the UK because we are not? Thanks you Helen and Emma really kind of you. I live not far from Lillydale. What a lovely bunch of people there are on ths site! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kdal Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hey Vul You are sounding better already. Couple of offers for cups of coffee, can't be bad !! Just what you need. Try not to dwell on what could have been with the visa it will only make you feel worse, a year is not along time and you can move onto somewhere else and you never know you may even settle in and stay where you are! Take care and keep us updated xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Les & Woz Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Hi there Sorry to hear you are so fed up. Just remember nothing stays the same so things will get better for you. Sounds like the job is the problem perhaps you can change in Jan 09. We are hoping to come out in March 09. What area are you living? Les Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taffy 62 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Please please hang in there.:smile: Your children have settled, a big plus. Some people want to be friends with you and offered support and a shoulder to cry on another big plus. Take one day at a time dont look at the year ahead it will seem to daunting. If your that unhappy set yourself another goal and mark the days off the calender till you get to it. Ie: Maybe think about a move to a country town in 12 months, you wont have to travel as much, it sometimes helps to be in a smaller community, you may be able to work different hours. Dont be too hard on yourself, moving house is stressfull enough nevermind moving to the other side of the word and starting a new job.:smile: When I first arrived I hated where I lived in south australia, it was too clicky, everbody there grew up together and not many outsiders moved there so it was hard to get accepted. I stuck it out for 14 months then moved to country victoria in albury/wodonga. What a difference! there was an army base there so there were more people in the same position, as people were coming and going, they had new comers clubs there where you could meet people and make friends., and everyone was so much friendlier. \I said when I was unhappy, I'm not going to go back home without trying somewhere else in Australia first. I,m glad I did or I would never have known how much better it could be. :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taffy 62 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Where abouts in south africa? i have also lived there for 3 years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joetrac Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 :wubclub: Hope it gets better for you. Enjoy your cuppa with other PIO people...might be just what you need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FREDF Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Lilydale is not far out - we were looking around Eltham and Warrandyte until we found the house in Epping. OH is sick of long commutes in the UK so Epping is easy and only a few minutes up the road. As I said in the next few weeks I will be driving OH to work and spending days up in the area - its to far to come back down to Frankston and then all the way back up to pick him up. If you and Emma want to get together for a coffee sometime that would be great. I think there is a way of sending a private message on this site so we could exchange contact details that way. If not just email me and you can keep in touch that way. Cheers Emma what part of Melbourne are you in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 hi Taffy My family live in Bloemfontein. Do you know it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Thanks again for all who have taken the time to reply to a total stranger! I feel a little better today! It's much appreciated. Thank you . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Hi Les. I live in mooroolbark East of Melbourne just before the Lillydale line. Good luck for next year! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 thanks Kdal. Really kind of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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