To go or not to go?????

[tink12]

The more things set in stone the more I'm unsure.

I love my job, family and friends in the UK but my OH doesn't like the company he works for, hes been offered a 457 job in WA and the visas have gone.
My family and friends keep telling me not to go and I now don't know what to do.
I'm interested go to WA and support my OH but I currently manage myself at work and have done for the last 10 years - since leaving school, I'm also a voluntary director of the small company (childrens services), my mum set the company up was diagnosed with cancer 4 years ago, since then I have expanded the company to offer various new services and created jobs. I feel like I'm walking away from everything.
As I mentioned my mums been ill and also other family members with the same awful C word, I'm a very family focussed person and don't know if I'm about to make the biggest mistake ever.
From a job point of view I think i'm going to struggle working for a big company as my safety net (work) is small and I run currently it and, from a family point of view - there too far away.
My OH is going whether I go or not he says!
What do I do??????

[sh7t man no way]

reading your story i would say not to go--but its your life

[mrsmen]

Hi Tink12

It is quite a dillema when one person wants to go and one doesnt! have you been to WA before??

[Delaneym]

Does it have to be all or nothing? Can you go for a holiday whilst he is there and see what you think? I have no idea what I would do but for me following someone just to live their dream would not be enough for me so maybe test the waters to see if it can be your dream as well .My mother is no longer here but I am in that place of leaving my father and I will really only know if I like it is by trying. I am not too proud to return if I feel I cant leave him and my two sons. sending you a hug x

[The Ropey HOFF]

If you are really happy with your lot, I wouldn't go, unless you both agree to go for a specific time, say the 4 years it takes to get citizenship, with the view you will come back at that point, which you might not want to. Can't you put your job on hold and eventually return to it? Personally, I read quite a number of negative posts here on PIO and I feel most never really wanted to go in the first place, or weren't sure and I think you might end up like them. My wife can't make her mind up and she will have to decide late next year and in all honesty, I don't know if she will say Yes, or No, but ...... I won't pressure her, if she doesn't want to go, we won't go, I have a great life here in the UK already and it won't be the end of the world, but ...... I will have to go on holiday more, if that's possible, lol.


Best of luck.

[blobby1000]

Relocating is hard enough if you want to go, it must be impossible to live here if you dont want to come in the first place!

Also, I dont think "im going whatever you do" is a terribly constructive way to behave (not that its any of my business) you cant really go with someone who takes that little interest in your feelings can you?!

[zk2102]

Seriously, if I had that many doubts I think I would stay put. Also if my OH gave me an ultimatum like that I'd have to think long and hard about how much I really meant to him . Sorry but that kind of attitude really gets to me. sounds like you have a fantastic family and a great career. We're making the move because it's what we've wanted as a family for many years, and I know if anyone of us had any reservations we wouldn't be going! Hope it all works out for you x

[tink12]

Hi Tink12

It is quite a dillema when one person wants to go and one doesnt! have you been to WA before??

Hi

No I've never been to WA or any part of australia, my uncle and wife recently move to Albany WA but thats it.

[tink12]

Thank you everyone, Its really hard at the min. My job is good and they've agreed I can leave and return to the same place but within a set time limit as they'll have to recruit etc. As a couple we orginally both said we'd love to go abroad and work but as my OH doesn't understand - things change. I think we've had a bit of a bad relationship - We've been together 4 years - within that, my mum has been ill, her twin sister aswell with the same cancer, there mum passed away of the same thing and currently my mum is undergoing tests as they worry its returned, thats just the core of it all.
Last year my OH decided he wanted to go live in Canada and had the same i'll go anyway attitude, he couldn't go in the end but this has put huge strain on us.
The funny thing is I'm such a strong 28 year old professional but for some reason not when it comes to this.
Thank you all for reading - its so nice to get it off my chest (so to speak), I think about it everyday and still have no answer x

[GilraenH]

Thank you everyone, Its really hard at the min. My job is good and they've agreed I can leave and return to the same place but within a set time limit as they'll have to recruit etc. As a couple we orginally both said we'd love to go abroad and work but as my OH doesn't understand - things change. I think we've had a bit of a bad relationship - We've been together 4 years - within that, my mum has been ill, her twin sister aswell with the same cancer, there mum passed away of the same thing and currently my mum is undergoing tests as they worry its returned, thats just the core of it all.
Last year my OH decided he wanted to go live in Canada and had the same i'll go anyway attitude, he couldn't go in the end but this has put huge strain on us.
The funny thing is I'm such a strong 28 year old professional but for some reason not when it comes to this.
Thank you all for reading - its so nice to get it off my chest (so to speak), I think about it everyday and still have no answer x

It's hard being the grown up in a relationship sometimes. Do what is best for YOU. You will be happier in the long run, what ever you decide. Good luck