What's the secret!!

[blobby1000]

I have been posting recently on the "moving back to UK" area due to our decision to return in a year (after 2.5 years here). I wont repeat our reasons as its probably getting a bit dull for everyone.

We planned this move full of optimism but I wonder, for all the happy Poms out there, what do you think the secret is?

What is it that makes you feel happy here? What makes you want to stay? Why do you like living here?

We are going back but I would be really interested to know if there is something we have missed that would have helped.

[jgt]

Im going to be interested in this one,and no i havent read your posts about coming back in nutshell is it family,i dont have any so im not tied ,in a way lucky that its not a problem. Good luck

[CaptainR]

I'm going to guess the secret is more about the people who don't stay because of their strong connection to family and friends that makes it unbearable to be overseas.
As an expat, and having worked overseas since I was 18 years old, I've lived in South East Asia and am presently in the Middle East, with the intention to move onto Australia next, I find that it really is how dependant you are on your friends and family. Over the years of travelling, I've made three good friends, who I keep in touch with, the others are just aquintances.
One of the things thats always helped me is the ability to nip home when i've wanted to, although have to admit going home from Hong Kong to London for a weekend does get a bit extreme after a while.

[blobby1000]

So with all due respect, the secret for you CaptainR is not having many friends in the first place? I dont mean this disrespectfully, but I think you have a point. Loads of people I meet here that seem content, never really had mates in the UK, due to moving around a lot/travelling overseas or just not feeling the need to have close friends....


In a way then, people that have close ties to anywhere may always struggle over here?

I met a lovely Brit a while ago who reported exactly this, she never stuck around anywhere long enough to make real friends and so didnt miss anyone.

[tea4too]

I’m really interested in this one too. We visit family in WA fairly regularly and constantly meet people who tell us that they love their life and wouldn’t consider returning to the UK - and it feels like they all in on a secret that eludes us.


We can (and do) appreciate the weather, the country, the lifestyle, but for us it is a great holiday and we are always happy to return home to the UK - we have never felt any great desire to move to Australia ourselves. I’ve thought about it a lot and come to the conclusion that in our case it was enough to just find a place that was very different from where we were born and raised. We moved to Wales, found a beautiful country and lifestyle that we love, and have settled. It’s home now and where we feel happiest.


Perhaps the bottom line is that people need to feel a sense of belonging, and different things trigger that feeling for different people? Tx

[Petals]

My parents having itchy feet we traveled a lot and lived many places. Its the excitement of somewhere new, exploring the new area, finding how it ticks. My father good gardener, once he had a garden up to scratch, had to move it was all about the move. For me I did not move with them as much as my brother as I am older than him but I have pretty much stayed in one place. However if I had to move oversees tomorrow to somewhere new where I knew no-one I would be fine. Accepting of the new and getting on with it. No regrets. I believe we only have a few friends whoever we are but some have many acquaintances. People pass through our lives at different stages when we have similar lives. In the end if you are lucky you get into final decade and by then most friends and family have gone anyway.

Optimism is the key, self sufficiency, adventure.

Just to add I think the more material things we have the more worries we have. My parents would up sticks with just tickets and some money in the bank and move across the world, making do was so much more exciting than having it all I guess.

[paisleylass]

Having no ties in the UK helps, and I love the scenery here, bloomin palm trees and lorikeets all over the shop. I always loved holidays in California and this reminds me of that (well, there were plenty lorikeets at the aquarium at Long Beach anyway hoho). I also love the bug noises in the evening - strangely relaxing. The compulsion to escape, to always have a holiday booked to look forward to, has disappeared. Once I get a job I actually like I'll feel even more settled - working on that right now!

[MackyD]

We move out soon and I'll be interested to see how we fair. My wife is South African and Australia is a popular destination for them (same outdoors lifestyle but without the brutality). So she thinks she's going to love it. My kids are Pre-school so should adapt quickly. As for me, work is more likely to determine my enjoyment of the experience. If that goes well I think the move will go well. We'll see.

[jamjar]

I dont believe there is any secret. Some people can deal with the seperation and some cant - not all those that do deal it have no closeness to the family/friends they left behind they just know how to cope with it. I know very close families that are continents apart and that closeness has not died at all.

With regard to friends, well some would say that you should be able to make them wherever you go, if you cant then maybe there is something wrong with you - not them. But again not everybody is the same and not everybody finds it easy. What I do findl interesting is how quickly supposedly life long friends lose contact with you when you move and how un-interested they are in your new plans/life when it is no longer in thier direct life. I bet those with lots of close friends soon realise that that number soon drops to about 3.

[3FatCats]

Being close(r) and being able to nip home was an important factor for us when settling back into the UK after Italy. For me, having a good job where I felt accepted and useful helped me settle, as did having a nice house which we chose. Yes, we miss friends and some family but the reasons we are not settling in Oz are not those, just that it is not our place. We have felt more drawn to other places in the past and it simply hasn't happened with this move. So, each person will likely have their own "secret formula" which helps them settle? For us it feels that way.