Tea4two Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I'm reading through a post on here by a name I won't reveal and i'm reading it out loud to my husband saying..."oh that's so similar to us" ...then it dawned on me...it IS him. Now that's not what i'm angry at. I'm angry because i've been dragged across the other side of the world (after being dragged to live in a rural part of the UK) to start a new life so my husband can be happy. I'm a happy go lucky, I have lived in a few different places and he's the most unhappy out of us (which was supposedly weather related) and so I said yes to Australia. I see the benefits and i'd do anything for him. I moved to rural Scotland where I knew my career would be put on hold (cos there's no work there) , for his career. The career he hates and moans about constantly. But OZ was supposed to provide him opportunity to train in something new. So we give it a go...I spent months tirelessly putting together all the info. ME. Then I see this other person on here ranting about how he has made the wrong move, ranting from our hotel room in USA saying he wants to go back before we even get there...and all the time i'm trying to be positive...applying for 5-7 long winded job applications per day for the last 3 weeks!, trying to give him his dream. Now it's my turn to say I want to go home. I want to put me first now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 So are you in Aus now? migration is an incredibly stressful process and sometimes doubts creep in at the last minute, but reading about it 2nd hand would be cause for a bit of a shock to you. I guess everyones advice will be sit down and have a real heart to heart about where you both want to be and make the decisions from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea4two Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 yes i'm in OZ now, was actually loving it till I read this. We talk all the time. He hasn't spoken to me about this as he knows I get mad when he's negative, which is all the time. But I have given ample opportunity to change his mind saying this was never my dream and you need to be sure. Looking back at all his posts from October (?!?!) shows me he had doubts all along. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 yes i'm in OZ now, was actually loving it till I read this. We talk all the time. He hasn't spoken to me about this as he knows I get mad when he's negative, which is all the time. But I have given ample opportunity to change his mind saying this was never my dream and you need to be sure. Looking back at all his posts from October (?!?!) shows me he had doubts all along. x I've actually looked back at those posts too and would agree that the problem was there before the US post ... you need to decide what it is that you want to do now, no rash decisions - think them through and be certain they're what you want, sounds as if you've done a lot of compromising previously .... an option is to give it a go here for 12 months (for you) see if you can re-establish your career here, you don't have to think of it forever - but maybe getting back to something you enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest haunted1234 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 i think realistically you need to give it time..... we've been here 9 weeks and my son has been hurrendous, so easy it would be to about turn and go home, but go home to what? i know im doing the best thing for US! Forgive me if i speak out of turn, but i believe a partnership is about give and take and from what you say, you've given up alot for him already...maybe he needs to grin and bare it for a while and go with the flow...i don't think you can make a big decision to home in such a short space of time x Good Luck x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maruska Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Wonder if your husband would be happy anywhere...... It seems like there is a different reason for his unhappiness than being in UK . Are you on talking terms now? I understand that you are very upset now, I would be too:mad: but really there is nothing else to do but talk to him and then decide what YOU want to do. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea4two Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 Thanks guys. I don't think giving up is an option. We would be financially ruined. Maruska...yes exactly what im scared of....A life looking for happiness.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbie2302 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Just want to send you a big (((hug))) and hope you can work through this together xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea4two Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 Thanks Deb...fellow Warringtonian Was born there but stay in Widnes xx Stopped crying now so that's a plus I guess x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbie2302 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Hang in there, I'm sure it will all come good in the end. Small world, we are coming over to Melbourne in April to have a look around and hopefully move out later in the year. Having problems finding somewhere to stay though as it's Easter and sooo expensive. Xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea4two Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 lol Melbourne, really? Do you have children? If not, we are staying at a little resort north of the city (20 mins on a train) and it's fine Costing us 550 per week based on staying for 5 weeks. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea4two Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 ps. all temp accomm is sooooo expensive, especially paying with the pound...every week it's costing us the price of our mortgage lol x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbie2302 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Yes we have three teenage children, cheapest we have found is a house in mornington at 1,500 dollars a week. Looks like we will have no choice but to pay as that's the cheapest we have found. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea4two Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 God no, that's awful. That's hugely expensive...i'll keep an eye out for you as that's ludicrous! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbie2302 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I know it is and thanks or keeping an eye out for us, anyway off to bed now, hope you feel better soon xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Playghirl Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Just wanted to also offer big hugs. You guys need to talk it out love. X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maruska Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Thanks guys. I don't think giving up is an option. We would be financially ruined. Maruska...yes exactly what im scared of....A life looking for happiness.x Maybe your husband might be depressed? Is he taking any medications? For example steroids or meds to help you quit smoking have that effect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 :hug: I cant imagine how you must be feeling after that little bombshell. Look after yourself! You are the only one who is going to do that for you and sometimes you need to take a big dose of selfishness to say what it is that YOU want out of all this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest haunted1234 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I'm from Newton le willows...... small world eh? Inbox me if you need a chat xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supa Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Is it possible he knew you would read it as he is having difficulties in admitting it aloud. Either way, as has been said, you need a good heart-to-heart and to be totally honest with each other. I really hope it all works out for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeteD Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 If I had a partner like you, going to such lengths to place me and my happiness above their own as you do for your hubby, well, frankly I'd be waking up each day, counting my blessings and trying to give back more than I got. Sounds like your fella doesn't realise how good he's got it (sorry mate, you're probably reading this, but it's true). Uprooting yourself and moving between countries and cultures is never easy, I've done it about 5 times now (am I a 'never happy' person, or a 'happy go lucky' one? - who knows). Giving the new place time (I say it's hard to make an educated decision in less than 2 years) is fundamental to settling. I have a mate in Aus who was umming and arring during his first year, now he's fully settled and loves it, he's even got his citizenship and can come and go as he pleases. Having lived in Liverpool for the past 12 years, in two months time I'm finally heading down under to re-unite with the love of my life, the sunshine! Hope it all sorts itself out for ya, P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2tigers Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Oh dear, personally I think you should both stop posting on here and talk it through. It may make matters worse if this thread continues..... good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Oh dear, personally I think you should both stop posting on here and talk it through. It may make matters worse if this thread continues..... good luck Exactly,if either of you read threads from the other on here isnt it just going to make things worse?talk to each other,not strangers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I second all other posts.....quit posting, talk to each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I second all other posts.....quit posting, talk to each other. Baxters hasn't posted since 7.43am yesterday ... so they probably are:cute: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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