Heartless mothers destroying families!

[steen1976]

But it is not up to us to question them, why should they have to go in to personal details on here. This is what the judge is for.

Because it's an Internet forum - for discussion.

[guest36187]

Because it's an Internet forum - for discussion.

Discussion yes, judging no.

Too many people judge things too quickly. They see Mum taking a child away and judge that without knowing that there have been other extenuating circumstances.

[tink]

....................if you can put your hand on your heart and say...........................what you are doing is best for the child...............emotionally................... ...physically......................and spiritually................grab the bull by the horns .............or indeed the child by the hand ......................and go and LIVE LIFE............................to the best of your ability......................

[steen1976]

Discussion yes, judging no.

Too many people judge things too quickly. They see Mum taking a child away and judge that without knowing that there have been other extenuating circumstances.

Indeed. But the nature of the forum means that people should question to try to ascertain the facts and move the discussion along. In cases like this only the OP knows the true facts of course but you will always get opinions and 'judgements'. Based on one post or many. Folk shouldn't really post unless they welcome some form of feedback and that will contain opinion - often dressed up as fact of course

[LKC]

I have never been in this situation, but as someone outside looking in, as it were, all I can see is that there is no right or wrong, just a decision with consequences. The only people who truly know what goes on inside a family/relationship are the people in it, so I am not sure that this is the place for making judgements, more somewhere that people should be able to ask for help or support.

What I would like to say, though, is that you have to remember that we all take our children away from someone when we move over here. Again, not a wrong or right, just a decision that is made and consequences to live with.

[guest36187]

Well said LKC: "A decision with consequences" -

[Dylan1]

[QUOTE=tracy123;1115823]I don’t think it is right to turn others threads into a debate of the rights or wrongs of taking children away from 1 parent so i’ll start one of my own.

We have 2 threads running at the minute, 1 by a father looking for advice on how to keep his children in the UK and the other by a mother looking to take her children away from their father. While the father is getting loads of support the mother is being attacked, why is that so?
The father could be a right arse and just looking at ways to get back at his ex, but nobody has said that or asked any questions in that direction, we are just happy to offer positive support (the way it should be) But the mother..... how dare she want to start a new life!!!!

Anyone with children going to Australia are taking them away from family, friends and their not being questioned or attacked, but somehow taking them away from a father WOW you can’t do that. Not interested in how good or bad the father is, it’s morally wrong!

I can only talk for myself but we looked at it from all angles, are we doing the right thing? We spoke to our son about it, we tried to talk to Tracy’s ex and he wasn’t interested, it wasn’t as straight forward as stuff him lets go just to piss off Tracy’s ex. So when it come to asking questions on PIO, things like “what about the father” weren’t helpful, we had already thought about that.
How many people have really thought about the impact the move will have on their children and family members? I bet people that have and are trying to take their children away from their other parent have thought long and hard about it.

IMHO if you have no support or real advice to offer then don’t say anything, because you’re not helping!

Taking children away from another partner is a very stressful thing to do, it’s a long process that’s very costly and I know myself we had loads of questions about the processes involved and not to many people would offer advice in the open because of the grief they would get off other members so it was all done via PM.



I Wasn't going to respond to this thread as it seems to be delibrately inflamative, but i will try to do so in a calm and collected manner without resorting to I'm going to respond to each person individually.

First off, Geoffrey I'm sorry that my thread has obviously brought back some bad memories that i can plainly see still bother you, and i do wish you and your family well. I also thank you for the advice that you have kindly given me.

As to the reasons to why the people on this forum have been so quick to offer their kind words i can only guess. It's maybe because i took the time to explain my situation as honestly as i could, and that through my words they could asssertain that I am not " A right arse that is just looking at ways to get back at my ex." Your are correct when you say that nobody has said that or asked questions in that direction, but feel free to if you want. I wont mind as this is after all a forum where people can offer their opinions aswell as their advice.

[tracy123]

[QUOTE=Dylan1;1116135]

I Wasn't going to respond to this thread as it seems to be delibrately inflamative, but i will try to do so in a calm and collected manner without resorting to I'm going to respond to each person individually.

.

I am not having a go at you Dylan, you have the right to ask as many questions as you need and I hope PIO can help you, my point is (and I'm sorry to use your thread as part of my point) that while people don't know your ex's side and her reasons at no point have they asked your motives, they except your view, where as a mother wanting to take her children away, some people can't except that and start questioning why? It's not up to us to question why, that is for the judge.

First off, Geoffrey I'm sorry that my thread has obviously brought back some bad memories that i can plainly see still bother you, and i do wish you and your family well. I also thank you for the advice that you have kindly given me.

Your thread has not upset me, you have every right as a dad to want to keep your kids as close to you as you can . What bothers me isn't your thread, (it's great to see so many people support you, I tried to offer some advice myself.) is the way people can't offer the same support to the mother on the other thread.

As to the reasons to why the people on this forum have been so quick to offer their kind words i can only guess. It's maybe because i took the time to explain my situation as honestly as i could, and that through my words they could asssertain that I am not " A right arse that is just looking at ways to get back at my ex." Your are correct when you say that nobody has said that or asked questions in that direction, but feel free to if you want. I wont mind as this is after all a forum where people can offer their opinions aswell as their advice

It's not up to people to attack or question your motives, they are yours and yours alone.

[Dylan1]

[QUOTE=moving2melbourne;1116082]What we all have to remember is that we DON'T know the ins and outs of each situation, so to come on here and jump down a parents throat because she wants to take the child away is totally wrong.

I feel that if your going to post on a public forum about an issue that is so emotional you should attempt to give the ins and outs of the situation.....I feel that i did that from my side without going into to much personal detail.......I could tell you the nitty gritty, but i promise you that it will not make anyone look at my ex in anymore of a positive light, in fact the opposite would be true.

The other thread that Geoff speaks of by Lisaifould initially read like this.

" I'm hoping to write a letter to my children's dad showing him the costs involved to make sure he is prepared to pay out and hopefully give me permission himself."


Lisa then explained a bit more about her circumstances and i have no reason to have much sympathy for a dad who is as remiss as the one she described.

Lisa i wish you and your kids all the best.

[tracy123]

^^pretty much this^^

Too complex a situation to say X is right.

And this is a forum where discussion on a subject is asked for. Some of the replies may not echo your point of view but they are someone's opinion so just because you think it offers nothing it doesn't always mean so. I've not seen the other thread but no one can know if either of the parties mentioned is a good loving father/good mother or otherwise but people can only comment on the situation as described.

So in my case unless there was a evidence of the father being uninterested in the child and only blocking it out of spite then I would say it is wrong to remove the child from the country and hope the courts would side with him.

Why should we have to slander the father to prove that we think what we are doing is right?
PIO is not a court room where we need to prove anything, PIO is a place where we come to ask questions in relation to moving to Australia (In general)
I could write pages and pages of all the things Jake's Dad did to him, but why should I? To prove to someone I'll never meet that we are right in wanting to take him away?

The simple fact is people want to ask questions on costs, timelines and what's involved, not get into the rights or wrongs of what they are doing!