Quote:
Originally Posted by emu
Hi Sue, the some weird thing has happened to us, from time to time we wonder where something is, that we packed and realise that we don't have it anymore! It's a very strange feeling that so many small bits disapeared.
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Need some help folks......
I am writing a fiction article for an online magazine, its about Martians moving to Earth.
I have a Martian family selected by the Martian MI5 ( Martian Intelligence, section 5 ) to take human form and infiltrate into the Earth population to collect information about the Earth people , their habits and way of living.
They are transported in the latest Z craft- which still have some teething troubles and tends to leave marks on teh landing area, som eare circular, but the modified versions leave even stranger geo-excentric patterns, especially in crop fields.
The miltary select an obscure and rundown area known as Liverpool -where there is a large percentage of low intelligence labour available, ensuring nobody will notice the earth visitors as they mingle and work.
The famly move into a run down rental, unpack their standard issue airbed and thrmal blankets and settle down.
Scanning the local papers they look for jobs to mingle with the workers, a sure way to gain political opinions. Soon they realise that the area is in fact the centre of a potential war zone. News that Manchester United FC have agin knocked the Liverpool Scallies down the pecking order of top football clubs, seems to have upset the sub-human section of the area...again.
Mahogditto, quickly found a job. He was taken on as a packer with a shipping company....
A few weeks into the job, we find Mahogditto coming home after a busy day. His mate stops teh van and they begin to take off all the "surplus packing papers bits and empty tape rolls".
His mates drives off, his van sagging on its springs ..even after unloading a customers stuff atthe warehouse.
Mahogditto is greeted by his "wife", he walks through the living room, now full of little homely items and some not yet in use lay in the original packing waiting for space or maybe a foray onto eBay to investigate the potential source of income for other agents about to follow.
As he moved from room to room distributing items from the box he struggled to carry into the house.
"Tell me darling" says the wife, in a newly acquired scouse accent, what have you got today and how did you manage to find these items".
Mahodditto explains, " Well as you know my darling, today we had a job with some peopel deciding to move to a great desert country where there is sun and warmth and kangeroos ( whatever they are). These people are unlike us, who travlled from our homeland with just our issue blankets and baseball caps. They take everything they own- even pots and pans and orniments... really stupid people!
So I thought examples of these people can be taken and sent to MI5 Scallie section in Birkenhead. Today, we skillfully selected items which these silly earth people will not even notice because it will take about 12 weeks or more to transport these things by primitive ships instead of a Z craft cargo ship which would be there in 6 minutes. Surley Richard Branston our Earth Transport Director knows this.....
Anway, these people will be so happy to have a new life and may have to store many boxes until they have a house to live in or too much and leave them packed for weeks more.
After that, who will listen to them talking about thefts or losses, ( starts laughing so much his false head falls off revealing no human brain inside.
Gathering himself, he said" Nobody even belives a thing about the Z craft marks, especially since Agents Hog baldok and Himterelse went on Tv and "confessed" it was a prank. ( more hysterical laughter)
The more obvious it is, the more people who should know better ignore the facts and even the greater mogal miester in top offices dont even get to hear about these things anyway..or they have reason to worry about the scouce scallies they enslave.
Working as a packer means we can go back to Mars 12 months sooner than planned because we gathered so many example of human households and behavior in such a short time.
That night in Australia a pommy wife shouted to an harrassed husband..."where did that photo of gran get to? And you will have fert wait for tha tea..can't cook owt yet coz I can't find me baking trays fert thoven ( from Manchester! )
The husband was having a smoke stood outside in teh warmth of teh ozzie evening, looking up at the Great Southern Cross, he shifted his glance to see a bluish flash going up into the night sky.
Like lots of items in shipping cartons.. Mahogditto disppeared off the face of the Earth... the sound of his laughing at how easy his mission had been ..still echo's daily in Scallie Town.
Well its all fiction....... and if anybody can help with further storylines...
L.L.
With apologies to the nice folk from Liverpool and district......