Guest guest22466 Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 Has anyone like myself had to remain in Australia with their chidlren after a divorce and then gone home to the UK for a holiday to see their family and friends that they have NOT been able to visit for 7 years due to ex's court orders. How do you enjoy your 3 and a half weeks holiday in the Uk and come back not aching to be with them all again?? I will be going in 4 weeks time for 3 and a half weeks. Any suggestions as to how to get my head around all the feelings or excitement, happiness to saddnes and then to here we are back again feelings. Also my parents are sick and elderly which is not good feeling ....any suggestions...please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 Hi Pommyoz Sometimes you will find thyat going back to the UK makes you realise what a great new life you have in Australia. I am not sure of your circumstances, but can you return back to the UK for good if you decide you want to be around your family? Hugs Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JulieW Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I think you have misunderstood, Kate. She can't go back for good because her ex won't allow her to take their son and she doesn't want to go back without him. She has therefore had to stay here as a single parent even though all her support network is in the UK and she would rather be there. This is something that could happen to anyone whose relationship breaks up here. You can''t take your children back to the UK if your ex won't allow you to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I think you have misunderstood, Kate. She can't go back for good because her ex won't allow her to take their son and she doesn't want to go back without him. She has therefore had to stay here as a single parent even though all her support network is in the UK and she would rather be there. This is something that could happen to anyone whose relationship breaks up here. You can''t take your children back to the UK if your ex won't allow you to. Hi Julie That is why I said I wasn't sure of her current circumstances. She mentioned she hadn't been able to fly home for 7 years to the UK for a holiday, but now she is saying she is going, so maybe the child has reached an age where it doesn't matter what the court says as the child can make up their own decision. Kate:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JulieW Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 She said she was going back for a holiday, not for good, and was asking how people cope with going back for a holiday knowing that they then have to come back. Anyway, maybe we should let her speak for herself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 She said she was going back for a holiday, not for good, and was asking how people cope with going back for a holiday knowing that they then have to come back. Anyway, maybe we should let her speak for herself! Hence my post and question " I am not sure of your circumstances, but can you return back to the UK for good if you decide you want to be around your family?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest22466 Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 No I can not go back to live unless the ex says I can take our sonas he is still young. I had to apply to the courts for a holiday this year as my father is sick in the UK now so the ex has allowed me to take our son for a holiday to see my family. It is such a strange feeling knowing I will be seeing my loved ones again after 7 years and then having to leave them again which I do not want to but know I have to. Anyway Im sure I will deal with it all the best I can ,as I have done with everything else in the past 7 years . Thank you for your thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 :hug: I guess you just do what you have to do. Me, I cry my eyes out on the train all the way from Cambridge to London. Usually enjoy a day in London the best I can then get so knackered that I cry when we take off and am usually asleep as soon as the wheels are up and try and sleep for the interminable flight back. I cry when I land in Canberra (usually manage Sydney without tears) then am back to planning my next trip - which, for me, is far quicker than your 7 years. That would be a serious challenge but I guess if it was what had to happen then I would put my big girl pants on like I usually do and get on with it. Your heart wont physically break even if you think it is coming close. Dont be afraid to bawl your eyes out - although with a little lad tagging along you may want to do it in private (I find the shower a good place) and just be proud of your inner strength and commitment in the face of all adversities. More :hug::hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest22466 Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 :hug: I guess you just do what you have to do. Me, I cry my eyes out on the train all the way from Cambridge to London. Usually enjoy a day in London the best I can then get so knackered that I cry when we take off and am usually asleep as soon as the wheels are up and try and sleep for the interminable flight back. I cry when I land in Canberra (usually manage Sydney without tears) then am back to planning my next trip - which, for me, is far quicker than your 7 years. That would be a serious challenge but I guess if it was what had to happen then I would put my big girl pants on like I usually do and get on with it. Your heart wont physically break even if you think it is coming close. Dont be afraid to bawl your eyes out - although with a little lad tagging along you may want to do it in private (I find the shower a good place) and just be proud of your inner strength and commitment in the face of all adversities. More :hug::hug: Thank you ...Yes big girl pants are good ....I have many pairs of those lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metoo Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 No I can not go back to live unless the ex says I can take our sonas he is still young. I had to apply to the courts for a holiday this year as my father is sick in the UK now so the ex has allowed me to take our son for a holiday to see my family. It is such a strange feeling knowing I will be seeing my loved ones again after 7 years and then having to leave them again which I do not want to but know I have to. Anyway Im sure I will deal with it all the best I can ,as I have done with everything else in the past 7 years . Thank you for your thoughts. Pommyoz, Can you not leave your son in the care of his father for future visits home. Your child has a father who is making your life more difficult than it need be. Obviously I don't know your circumstances but if your ex is insisting on being involved in your life then I would be inclined to use this to my advantage to a degree. If your mum and dad are not in the best of health then it may be worth this concession for your own peace of mind. Best wishes Metoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest22466 Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Thank you metoo......Yes after taking it to court with other issues....the ex has just agreed after 7 years to let me take our son on holidays to the UK to see my family (as my dad is sick) so now I have the court orders to go for 28 days each year with my son as long as its in the school holidays. You feel so dictated by the other parent and it really does frustrate me. I would not mind if the ex was very forthcoming with other parts of our sons life but he is not. The ex wants to look the good father in court but once outside the court room the truth is seen but I have to say this time the court judge saw him for who has was and warned him to do the right thing by his son otherwise it may turn out in my favour. Which I have to say has made things easier for my son and I since....... I do wonder sometimes if it is about the child or the control of the other parents life still that is in question in my case......??????? This is a warning to other parents that if things go wrong this is how it could end up...... Pommyoz, Can you not leave your son in the care of his father for future visits home. Your child has a father who is making your life more difficult than it need be. Obviously I don't know your circumstances but if your ex is insisting on being involved in your life then I would be inclined to use this to my advantage to a degree. If your mum and dad are not in the best of health then it may be worth this concession for your own peace of mind. Best wishes Metoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metoo Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Hi pommyoz, I often wonder in cases like yours, when your child is older and begins to understand the restraints that his dad has put on both of your lives, what does he think that this situation will do to their future relationship. As a small child, he will have a relationship with his father because that wil be in the control of the adults supporting him, but, as an adult himself he can make up his own mind and if I was that child I would imagine that my relationship with him (his father) would be coloured by previous events. I agree, sometime you have to wonder if their need for control is in fact just spite. To stop a little boy from seeing his grandparents for 7 years and possibly for a lot longer if he had got his way would definitely be seen as spiteful in my book. Very best wishes to you, hope you have a fabulous holiday. Take care Metoo x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest22466 Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Thank you metoo. Only time will tell with regards to their relationship and I would love them to have a great relationship regardless of how his father has conducted himself in all this. All you want for your child is that the parents triy to do the right thing by the child if they are going to be kept in the country so they can have contact with their child. I encourage a good relationship for my son and his father then when he is older then he can as you decide himself. Life is full of suprises and you never know how things are going to turn out. Im looking forward to us spending time with my family and friends.... Hi pommyoz, I often wonder in cases like yours, when your child is older and begins to understand the restraints that his dad has put on both of your lives, what does he think that this situation will do to their future relationship. As a small child, he will have a relationship with his father because that wil be in the control of the adults supporting him, but, as an adult himself he can make up his own mind and if I was that child I would imagine that my relationship with him (his father) would be coloured by previous events. I agree, sometime you have to wonder if their need for control is in fact just spite. To stop a little boy from seeing his grandparents for 7 years and possibly for a lot longer if he had got his way would definitely be seen as spiteful in my book. Very best wishes to you, hope you have a fabulous holiday. Take care Metoo x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.