Back to the UK after 5 months.

funkymonkey · 25-03-2010, 04:48 AM

Originally Posted by MSTO

Well I am hoping the grass is greener the other side for me....I am aware of all the faults of the UK and after being away 5 years realise lots has changed. However in saying all that things in the last 5 years have changed for me too....2 children infact and them growing up with family around them means so much more to me and my husband now.

Good luck Rayman....nice time of year to go back aswell.

This is the same as us. We have been here just over 5 years and our house is going on the market in the next couple of weeks so we can return to the UK. My husband, who is Australian does not really want to go. He asks me every morning if i have changed my mind!! His main reason is because of his job, he really likes it and it pays well etc. I have been the one pushing the move, which is hard work on your own and is a huge responsibility.

We have had three children since we got here and i know that we will not be able to afford flights home for holidays in the future once we start paying for three sets of school fees!

I have missed home for the whole time i have lived here but i am in absolute turmoil in trying to remain positive with our return home. The thought of starting again..finding a decent rental, jobs, schools etc nearly scares me enough to not go. If it fails i know my husband will blame me and of course i will blame myself too, for being selfish and wanting to go home.

We will have nowhere to stay when we go back so we will have to stay in a travel lodge or something until we can find a rental and that on its own makes me feel so guilty. We have a nice house here with a lovely garden for the children.

Sometimes it feels all too much and i feel like giving in, admitting defeat and just staying here and putting up with living here. Even though i have never settled here and ended up pretty depressed last year because of the constant living in limbo state we are in.

My family would love us to come home but they have no room to put us up (found this pretty disappointing when i asked i have to say) and they have all moved on with their lives so i worry that there won't be a place for us there either.

Gosh, what a mess, i wish i could wave a magic wand and transport us back to the UK with a happy husband, good job, nice house etc

Mind you for all his grumpiness about going, he has got a skype interview with a company tonight without really trying very hard and i have been offered a job with my old company should i want to work, (have young baby so bit hard at the mo)!

Anyway, sorry for whining on, i don't have anyone to talk to about it and it just goes around and around my head all day long.

Think we have to stick to the plan and go home and take the chance that it will all work out ok!!

Thanks for listening.

**Quoll** · 25-03-2010, 05:00 AM

And good luck with it FM! I sincerely hope it all works out for you - I am sure it will because you are at least off first base with job prospects. It definitely looks as if this is the time for you to move - the longer you leave it the harder it is to escape. Your husband is a keeper if he is prepared to move to UK for you, many Aussie blokes wouldnt do that!

**Quoll** · 25-03-2010, 05:05 AM

Originally Posted by chris955

While that obviously makes sense why has it been a fairly recent thing ? 10 years ago everything was cheap but not anymore.

I am not sure that everything was cheap 10 years ago - Australia has always been expensive for those living here long term. It certainly appeared cheap for new migrants from UK because their pound stretched a long way. We have always paid through the nose for pretty much everything when you compare it with relative incomes.

I just got back from UK on Sunday and walked around Canberra looking for lunch yesterday - I could not believe how expensive the cafes all were and yet just over a month ago I would have been quite content to fork out that much for a focaccia or whatever took my fancy. A month of good eating at half the cost (and not just the $/L difference, literally half the cost!) has made me acutely aware of just how much we are ripped off. I guess I notice it every time I go home but this time the difference was really marked.

funkymonkey · 25-03-2010, 05:09 AM

Originally Posted by Quoll

And good luck with it FM! I sincerely hope it all works out for you - I am sure it will because you are at least off first base with job prospects. It definitely looks as if this is the time for you to move - the longer you leave it the harder it is to escape. Your husband is a keeper if he is prepared to move to UK for you, many Aussie blokes wouldnt do that!

I know, thanks Quoll. Its so true that the longer you stay the harder it is to escape. Everyone runs the UK down and i know it has its problems and i believe we could have a good life in either place but i just always feel so empty and lonely here. He has his family, his mates from Uni, mates from work. His social calender is great and he loves his job. The highlight of my social calender is playgroup once a week! I haven't been out on my own without children for over four years (except to get hair cut and doctors appts) and i know it isn't healthy.
The job interview for him is good but of course he doesn't rate the company and he "just knows" the pay will be poor compared to what he gets here!!

The exchange rate is good at the moment too so i hope now is the right time.

Thanks again Quoll

**valleylass** · 25-03-2010, 05:26 PM

Anyway, sorry for whining on, i don't have anyone to talk to about it and it just goes around and around my head all day long.

Hi funkymonkey

Don't look at it as whining just see it as bouncing ideas off a virtual audience! Good luck with the move and Quoll is right, if you've got jobs that's half the battle.

Best wishes

valleylass

**andromeda9** · 25-03-2010, 06:34 PM

Hello F M of all the posts I have read I would say almost for sure you could possibly regret going back to the UK, could you not find work in the evenings when husband at home even if it was only two nights a week so that you can have time out on your own, catch up and meet others its friendship I feel you are needing whatever you decide to do hope you will find happiness
regards Lynda

**chris955** · 25-03-2010, 09:46 PM

You could be right, I do remember being able to buy much much more for your money 10 years ago when we moved back.
Isn't it funny how the people on different sides of the fence see things differently ? Someone just recently posted how some friends from the UK said how cheap eating out was here compared to the UK. That did surprise me and went against what I had experienced a few years ago and what my wife saw just last year.

Originally Posted by Quoll

I am not sure that everything was cheap 10 years ago - Australia has always been expensive for those living here long term. It certainly appeared cheap for new migrants from UK because their pound stretched a long way. We have always paid through the nose for pretty much everything when you compare it with relative incomes.

I just got back from UK on Sunday and walked around Canberra looking for lunch yesterday - I could not believe how expensive the cafes all were and yet just over a month ago I would have been quite content to fork out that much for a focaccia or whatever took my fancy. A month of good eating at half the cost (and not just the $/L difference, literally half the cost!) has made me acutely aware of just how much we are ripped off. I guess I notice it every time I go home but this time the difference was really marked.

**margaret** · 26-03-2010, 12:09 PM

Hello,of course it will work out.The main thing is your heart will be free,from loneliness and you know that you will be happier back home.I will be doing the same as you and nothing will stop me. best of luck MARGARET

**Ozpom** · 27-03-2010, 11:06 PM

All the best on getting back to your life back in the UK and we hope all goes well for you all.

We are the entire opposite, we lived in Widnes, Cheshire and decided to emigrate to Australia and moved to Brisbane in 1998 and to be honest have not even looked back whatsoever.

We had read in the likes of the Australian News about a lot of brits that had come out and then returned within months and even weeks and at that point i could not understand as to how or why they would put themseves through so much expense and upheaval but now after being in oz i can see the other side of the coin and understand their feelings.

Luckily enough we have not had those feelings and are still very happy here in Australia after 12yrs although we are flying back in July 2010 to see family that we havnt seen for over 12yrs so that should be a tearful but happy re union for all of us.

They do say that you do have to give it somewhat longer to adjust however that is if all is going well but on the flip side if you are having finance and health problems then that sheds a different light on matters and decisions.

From the day we arrived we had a very positive attitude that we had come here for our new life and nothing is going to deter us and still after 12yrs we all think the same and it has worked for us.

I know when we go back to the UK in July i will enjoy some of the things we have missed like Fish n Chips, Tesco,s, Asda, Pasties, Beer etc etc but they are small things compared to the lifestyle here in Australia in comparison to the lifestyle we left behind in the UK and certainly would not warrant a decision to move back home.

A good percentage of people who have decided to go back to the UK actualy need that realisation of what they left the UK in the first place for and return back to Australia to continue there new lives.

To all of you no matter what your final decision i wish you all the luck and happiness that awaits but dont forget if you are not an Australian citizen before you return to the UK then dont forget to apply for a Resident Return Visa otherwise you wont get back in if you decide to change your mind after arriving in the uk.

All The Best

Tony

**mrsindecision** · 28-03-2010, 12:31 AM

To all of you no matter what your final decision i wish you all the luck and happiness that awaits but dont forget if you are not an Australian citizen before you return to the UK then dont forget to apply for a Resident Return Visa otherwise you wont get back in if you decide to change your mind after arriving in the uk.

Tony on the matter of the resident return visa - we still ahve 2 years left on our visa, do we have to apply for the RR visa before we leave in June or before the visa runs out?