Long Time Gone

[pegasus 90]

I'm new to PIO & have been reading the threads for a few days to get a feel for it. My OH has got me onto this as I grapple with her desire to move back to U.K.
I wanted to hear from people who have returned (or planning to) return after a fair few yrs. We have been here for 9 yrs & from most of the posts I hve read, it is mainly migrants of 2 yrs & under who seem to be going back.
OH has been talking about going back for a few years now but basically it's been on the back burner so to speak. I agree with some of the sentiments but am struggling with the concept of moving back to U.K
I agree that we love to travel but the distances & costs prohibit us from doing a lot of things, & also I have to admit Oz is very light in the culture dept!.
One of our other concerns is that we have two kids (13 & 9) and from what we have seen & experienced we have not been impressed with the education system here in W.A. Please don't think I am into Oz bashing, I try hard to make my kids aware & proud of where they come from, but my daughter is 13 yrs old & has never had a Geography lesson!!!
Luckily we are in a different position to a lot of the new migrants, I have made a good career (after paying my dues!) & we are financially comfortable.
I haven't been homesick for many years now, but I am sometimes envious of the amount of opportunities & things to do in U.K. Nevertheless I am battling with the reality of what we would be giving up.
If anyone is in similar position I'd love to hear from you.

BTW I really feel sorry for the new migrants who've come over in the last few years, especially those struggling for work. There wasn't a lot work around when I came over in 2000, but a 4 bed house was $160k & cost of living was much,much cheaper.
I found things alot easier once I'd got my first Aussie job, then doors seemed to open.
Not much consolation I know

[kdal]

Hi, Sorry can't really answer your dilemma but just wanted to say Welcome to PIO and I am sure you will get lots of point of views soon!!

I know what you mean abt the education system but to be honest not all schools in the UK are that great either, pretty much depends on the child and the teacher, although you would have thought your 13 year old would have had a Geography lesson by now.

Have you been to the UK for holidays since moving here? I should imagine that the UK has changed somewhat since you departed. I spoke to a friend of mine that has just returned from visiting the UK and he said it was very sad to walk along the high street and see so many empty shops. Not saying there is still no hope for the UK though, it just seems that the UK is tired and worn out (bless), personally I feel that Australia still has alot to learn, so like a teen lol

Hey lifes here for living so you could go back and let your children finish their education in the UK, and then if you wanted you could always return here later if you felt you needed to. Might be good for your children to give them an opportunity of living somewhere else.

Good luck in what you decide and keep us posted on your decision

[kdal]

Oh and would just like to add that your son having no Geography lesson now explains why my son was asked at school here in Aus
'do you come from England or Britain'

[John Locke]

Hi,
I`m in a similar situation. We`ve been here 7 years and I too have struggled with the concept of ever moving back, so much so that I just supressed it. We are now in our baby steps in our return home. We`re far from wealthy but we get by and materialistcly, we`ve done well, children are happy and have plenty of space but.....it`s been like living in a gold fish bowl and the emotional pull of going home started to outweigh the pros of living here. I mean, in all honesty what would I be giving up? A big house with a big backyard and the sun! It might be a fair trade for happiness and my on/off switch flicked back to ON.
I was back there last November and to be honest it hadn`t changed much, crowded high streets, raining...God, I`d never felt so alive, lol! Just everything, people, atmosphere so much more engaging. As for things to do and opportunities I`ve been thinking a lot lately of the things we used to do as a family (we only had one child then) not just in and around London, but we used to jump in the car and drive all over the place. What I`ve found here is once you`ve exhausted the things to do in your own area that`s it, really, you`re just left with the beach, no days out to amusement parks ar zoos because they`re all so far away (we take the kids to the Gold Coast most years but only because it`s a big and expensive family holiday), in the U.K we would take a day trip somewhere and go on the same rides!!!! Visit Museums that take longer than 10 minutes to walk around!!! Anyway, feel like I`m going on a bit but hope I helped in some way. I`ve found the comments and support on here a great help in coming to a decision. Also, PM me if you just feel like chatting...

[Susie]

Hi Pegasus

Interesting to hear how you feel after 9 years here. We are in our 9th month and considering going home. Also, wish we come in 2000 when the house prices were so low!!!

My husband and I are both high school teachers and would definitely say the standard of education is far better in the UK, well Scotland anyway as never taught south of the border! We both worked in state schools there for 10 years. I do relief teaching here in state schools (better not mention them!) as I can't get a proper job due to the strange recruitment system and as I won't go out to the country for 3 years. I think your daughter probably will do geography but its under the subject of S&E (society and environment), which also includes history, politics and economics. Geography these days, here and in the UK, is not about places around the world but more about volcanoes, natural disasters, environmental concerns etc. My husband has a permanent position in a private school teaching S&E and also thinks standards better in Scotland. However, we both agree that the kids here are far more confident and better at public speaking, they teach them to be more independent than we did our Scottish kids in school. The focus in Scotland was more on exams and academic achievement but here social skills seem very important.

Good luck with whatever you decide to so.

Susie

[JoanneHattersley]

I have been here 4 years and I can say although I have had homesick periods, I have no desire at all to go back. I call here home!

[Quoll]

I am "home" on holiday at the moment and the places I have been to have been vibrant and apparently thriving. Apart from Bradford (why is it that Tim the Tom Tom man always drives me round wills mothers in Bradford?) which definitely had dingy bits and which I would be clamouring to leave, the rest has been dynamic and apparently going well although I admit it could all be a facade. I havent seen any signs on doors like the one on our local map shop which basically blamed the economic downturn and said not to expect a fire sale.

The only glimpse I have had personally is the poor showing at a pub I quite like and that one of my rellies (oop North) has been made redundant. Also the man next door to my folks is rueing that the property market has taken a dive because he is now in negative equity for his rather large and quite ugly over renovated mcmansion and he cant sell it either!

I guess it all depends on what you would come back to job wise. If you have a recessionproof occupation as do my son and his partner you should be fine. On the plus side the countryside has blossomed in the month that we have been here, we have had good weather (it does happen in UK) and we have even "eaten outside" without the pleasure of being invaded by flies and mozzies. The culture thing has recharged my soul, one of my boys went to Switzerland and the other to Egypt for 10 day holidays, I have slipped into friendships which have stood the test of time beyond any that I have made in the last 30 years in Australia.

I get on the plane to go back tomorrow and my "mood" will be the opposite of cloud 9 I know because I have started with the nightmares already.

To the OP, if your wife hasnt "belonged" by now then chances are she wont ever belong and that can be very wearing the longer it goes on. I wouldnt call it "homesickness" so much as being out of place. Your kids are the right ages to be moving but you wouldnt want to leave it much longer for the 13 year old. With the $ being strong against the £ you could be laughing! I'm not saying it is an easy decision though, good luck with it!

[calNgary]

Hi and welcome to poms in oz, i want to wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide, no-one can say after so long you havnt given it a good go.
Does your hubby not fancy trying another state before giving up on Oz for good? or is it just that he misses the UK?
Cal x

[June Pixie]

I couldn’t give any advice on wanting to leave Oz as I’ve never even been, but I know one thing, we are very exited about the prospect of living in Australia with our family. It was an easy decision to make after over 2 years in actually deciding to start the process. I worried what my children would be like when we initially started to research the prospect, they are 12 and 7. My daughter (12) initially was reluctant so we left it and a few months then she said after thinking about it she would love to give it a go.

There are so many aspects of the UK that depresses me and specific incidents that have happened to me whilst trying to get on with life in Britain. I physically fear for my safety sometimes and have stopped my daily running regime after being chased by a group of drunken girls along a bridle path (at 11.30am!!) There are too many unruly elements now and don’t want my children to be scared or me to have to worry about their safety. I’m by no means a cloying overprotective parent and allow my eldest daughter the freedom I had as a child but after so many individual incidents we have to question the fact that standards are dropping. I don’t presume Australia will be utopia but my uncle who lives in Brisbane keeps me updated with events and I read Aussie papers online to get a feel of life overall down under.

Here was a pro’s and con’s list that as a family we drew up before making a final decision: Bear in mind that our children helped with this and some of the good things about Australia is based on what we perceived to be good.

UK
GOOD

Nana is here (son 7)
Garden (it’s taking us ages to nurture)
Northumberland scenery
Indian Takeaways

BAD
Chavs hanging around streets. Swearing & aggressive youngsters (not to mention the adults.
Litter (everywhere) Fly tipping, general mess
Over crowded and expensive tourist attractions
Bad weather/rain/ DRIZZLE/grey
Drunk & stoned people on streets (day & night)

AUSTRALIA
GOOD

Weather
Making new contacts and friends
Being outdoors as a family more
More laid back/less stressed lifestyle
More space/ not as claustrophobic as UK

BAD
May be too hot?
Flies
Lack of culture


We are all drawn to the fact that Australia seems to have a more sports focused and outdoors existence; my son can continue in a trampoline club down under and my daughter can do her rock climbing outdoors as opposed to an indoor windowless centre. I can still cycle to work (I do that in UK anyway) and my OH can wear flip flops everyday (big dream of his).

For us we are 100% together on the lifestyle we want to enjoy and we truly believe Australia has that on offer and hopefully we can give something back to Australia.

Sorry this post is overly long and opinionated, but personally I love hearing about the good and bad in every thing as it makes informed decisions so much easier when personal experience is given.

[treesea]

We came home when our children, who are both Australians, were 4 and 9, but to Scotland, rather than London, where I am from.

Good things about being back:

- The weather. Sunny and cold pretty much all year round, and now and then the haar rolls in to give a change of atmosphere. Edinburgh doesn't really do rain. Or snow. The last exciting weather by Australian standards was probably the hurricane that hit in 1968.

- Insects - there aren't any.

- Extended family - they're mostly here. And actually visit if they are not, which didn't used to happen in Australia.

- The housing. Inner city flats with 12 foot ceilings that don't cost and arm an a leg to rent and have huge rooms.

- Schools. I would say the standard of state education is on par with good private schools in Australia, maybe even higher. I'm really impressed with the amount of PE children do at secondary school here. Also, home economics, woodwork, metalwork and the like are genuine courses here, rather than just run as side shows for kids who can't cope academically. Also, I really like the 4.5 day week, i.e. an extra half hour Monday to Thursday, then early finishing on Fridays. Very civilised.

- The health system. I know it is over stretched down south (in London it's very patchy quality wise, likewise Manchester) - but up here its amazing. The Royal Infirmary is like a five star hotel.

- The coffee. Neros and Wetherspoons (yes, even the pubs) do a great brew and it's reasonably priced.

- Birds of prey. There are a fair few pairs around Edinburgh and they are great to watch.

- There's lots on year round, and all within a 10 to 20 mile radius.

Things I miss about Australia:

- Family members who live there.

- South East Asian food. Back here in the UK there are curries galore. Occasionally I long for some genuine Malaysian or Thai food. Even Japanese food here, which is genuine, thank goodness, is thin on the ground choice wise.

- The shopping. Chadstone is better than Bluewater...imho :-) The supermarkets are better in the UK though.

- Driving. Scottish roads are pretty good but I do miss my 4.1 litre car. No one could afford to run a car that size here.

- Owls - I haven't seen a single owl since we came back.

- The friends I left behind,some of whom are Brits.

Things I don't miss - the weather (if I feel like getting sunburnt, I'll visit Spain), flies, mosquitoes, cockroaches, frogs, cicadas.