Well finaly decided that this place is not for me, after much reflection cannot cope with these feelings and just want to get back on that plane. My partner has settled in and got a very good job with the Government, said that if it's not for me then just put it down to experiance.
I really dont think i can settle and didnt expect the emotions of not seeing parents and friends would affect me so much . We have spent thousands moving cats across who now have to go into quarentine for 6 months, bought all things new etc.
We came to OZ on 4 seperate occasions before we made the final decision, i feel so selfish as it was me who pushed for this move, sold our house, cars and for what daily crying and thousands of thoughts going on in my mind.
I dont think this is homesickness and given that i have never ever been this upset it is quite difficult to get your head around.
Need to start selling things now and get the cats and our flights booked for the next few weeks.
Many thanks for everones kind words to previous messages which i have posted.
Just want to ask a couple of questions and not trying to critisize
Did you think that this would happen before you left the uk as in what did you think to oz when you came out before.
Have you tried to use skype and video chat with your family and friends, we do it once a month and its good to see the family.
And the big one do you think 8 weeks is enough to get used to it over here.
The last question will get some sparks out of ppl but i didnt intend it to be an accusation.
This is just my thoughts and not trying to be too critical!
You are talking to the person who used to bawl her eyes out watching Little House on the Prairie!! My OH, tough bloke bawled at Heathrow before we left. Just took one call from his Dad and he was off!!!)
Move on three years............We are still here!!!! We love every second of this life.
If it is people you are missing that IS homesickness. Homesickness is horrible to go through but for most people it CAN be worked through. Like the previous poster said, internet, skype, MSN, webcams all help. We buy OzCall phone vouchers. a $10 voucher gives you 1800 minutes of calls to the UK. Approx 1/2 cent per minute. I am theone that calls my Mum and talks for 2 hours at a go!!!!
When we came we said we would give it two years no matter what. I used to see my parents very regularly along with other members of my family. Both OH and me have had some seriously crrappy days where we have missed people and the slightest thing can set you off....a TV program, a song that you hear.......! I go with the previous poster, Is 8 weeks really enough to know what you want to do? You said that you were the one that was wanting to come over. Think back to the reasons why you wanted to come. Are those reasons still relevent and those reasons still valid???
Also thnk of the reasons that you want to go home and weigh up the two. It is a horrendously expensive exercise to move here, go back + then realise that Oz really is where you wanna be.
We know that we are very lucky with our life here. We settled incredibly quickly (despite bouts of missing people!!), we have had numerous visitors. When we said "You`ll have to come over............they ALL did!!!" Also my parents are emigrating over here and will be here from Nov-ish this year for good. That will be great for me! Ask my OH in a few months what it is like living with the M-I-L!!!!!!
My OH left 2 children in the UK. When we left they were 17. That was a big wrench. However it was my OH that instigated the thoughts of Oz with us. Ironically I settled quicker than he did!!!!!!
Think really carefully before you go. 8 weeks can seem like a long holiday, once everything kicks in and you are working hard, going out, living the good life.......you may feel better!
Keep in touch on PIO!!!
__________________
Joanne
"POZZIE" - HAPPY AND LOVIN` IT
All the best with your move home B2B. If this is what you need to do then good for you! I wish I had pulled the plug when we were able to do so and then I would not have found myself trapped here. Hope things go smoothly for you!
I'm really sorry that you're not settling and feeling unhappy, like Jo and Peggy I too wonder if 8 weeks is long enough (too long you'll say to feel this sad). Do you work? I ask because getting out meeting people is really helpful to helping you settle, and I'm sure it was one of the things that helped us all do so - hubby worked after 2 weeks, I started my job after 4 and Kids were in school, having a daily 'normal' routine and talking to people and having a laugh was a major boost when you're left feeling unsettled.
The next thing is have you talked to a councellor? they could help you with your feelings, then if you decide to go back it will be less of a reaction to how you're feeling at that particular time. Your GP may be able to organise this via medicare. Migration is one of the biggest causes of depression in Aus.
Have you got any visitors planned to come over or can they come over to help you through this?
Good luck with whatever you decide - your hubby sounds really supportive
I know how you feel. I was born & brought up in Malaysia, and sent to boarding school in the UK on my own when I was 8. My sister was too young to come with me - she had to wait another 2 years.
I was appallingly homesick to start with. However, if DOES ease if you give it enough time, I promise.
My sister than moved to Oz when she was 21. She was there for about 4 years, perfectly happily, until something set her off and she bawled her eyes out down the phone to me.
It decided that the solution was for me to go and see her, not the other way around. Because of work etc I couldn't get away until Christmas so that I could rolll the public holidays in with annual leave in order to get 5 weeks in Oz. Otheerwise it would only have been 3 weeks.
I explained why I was going to leave it till Cristmas - then 5 months away. Elaine seemed OK about it. I felt that I should go and have a look and if it was really dire I would bring Elaine back to the UK with me.
YOu know what? Just knowing that I was on my way - even though it wasn;t gping to be immediiately - did the trick. Elaine started to plan all the things she wanted to do and to show me whilst I was there.
It was my first visit to WA though I had been to Oz before that. I didn't have a clue what to expect from WA - and it wasn't my overriding concern anyway. My concern was to find out what state Elaine was really in. Bless her - she was fine. She had obviously spent AGES planning to do all the things she thought I would enjoy. It made for a really good holiday for both of us.
Is there someone in your family who could come out to you for a visit? I reckon that having a visit to look forward to and plan for might make all the difference to you in the same way as it did for my sister.
I can't say it would definitely work, but you might want to give it some thought perhaps?
Hi,
Your post is so familiar it could be a post from me!! 18 months ago. I had all the exact feelings and one more than one occassion got the shipping companies in for estimates to go back, and like you it was ME who wanted this more than anyone, as Gill said, if there is any family that could come over then, it definately helps. I completely closed myself off when I went through this, and did not want to make friends with anyone, but I also complained that people were unfriendly!! I also had my daughter sent back to UK for trouble with her visa, that was not her fault, she is still there now and due back any day after a long hard fight, so depression, kicked in very early with me, and every day was a black day, we moved up to Cairns, away from Melbourne and the unfortunate start we had there, and things started to look brighter, we did have family come out to which helped, and skype, and cheap phone calls, but I always felt that we were missing out, and we also agreed to do the 2 year stint regardless, and put it down to experience, hubby also very supportive, and like yourself, thousands spent in moving costs!, I also beat myself up every day, and blamed myself for all the upset and mess I had caused, thankfully nobody else was thinking that way! another helpful tip is to look at the reasons that you wanted to leave, they are still there, and when I was told to do that, I immediately saw all the wonderful things about UK, that really did not exsist, I so know how you feel, and I also know that you will read this and all the other posts and think "yes but I really do not like it, and no one knows how I feel" we do, and if anyone had of told me 18 months ago that I would be giving this advice to someone then I would have told them to go and get certified!! amongst other things. I do hope you can see this through. Karen
Hi
Sorry to hear that you are not feeling very happy at the moment.We have been here 7 weeks and are settling in well but as you know only too well these first few weeks are emotionally exhausting. You 9we) have moved across the world, and everything is bound to feel very unsettled. Of course missing family & friends is all part of it and is something that you can't really prepare for. However maybe you should give it just a few weeks longer and see how you feel then. Don't forget that tomorrow is another day and you could feel a lot differently in a few weeks time once you've settled in to your new house and surroundings. Good Luck and pm me if you wnat to chat as we are at around the same tiume line as you
Mandy x
hello
hope it all works out for you are you SURE you want to go back to BOLTON
cold windy dark expensive crime ridden lol thought i would try to shock you out of the homesickness cant you get your mum and stuff to move over to
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lol,,grayda!!! ,must admit though i wouldnt return to Bolton and im born n bred there!!
BB can you not hold out at least another few months ?,there is no disputing the first few weeks are bloody hard i still have the odd down moment 18mth later but seriously think what your going back too.Think of the reasons you left,moving here is like setting out when you first left home ,,not easy but you get there in the end.If you would like to come around here for a chat and a brew please PM me id hate you to spend all that money going back to get there and think what have i done!!keep smiling
Cal x
