Totally Lost

**Lost9** · 11-01-2012, 01:06 AM

Hi,

I have been reading the forum and thought it would be a good idea to write on here to see if there are other people out there feeling how im feeling.

I moved out to Aus 7 years ago with my mum, dad and brother i was 16 at the time. So i left a lot of very close friends back in the UK as well as my mums side of the family. I went back to the UK a couple of times when i was 17/18 years old, and was always very excited to get back to Aus as i considered Aus home. I have since then got married and my husband and I went back to UK (for the first time in 5 yrs) in November 2011. As soon as I got there i had this instant feeling of that is where i want to be, seeing my friends, close family again was fantastic. my husband absolutely loved the UK and is very keen to go back. We decided to see how we felt when we got back to Aus to see if we really did want to move there or whether it was just a holiday crush.

Since being back i have felt more unsettled than i ever have and cannot stop thinking about the UK and everyone there. My parents have basically gone balistic as this, telling me its ridiculous that i should want to go back and how i have an unrealistic view of how the UK will be like to live in. My husband and I have researched things like average electricity/gas, water costs, mortgages, food bills etc etc and we know how much we could expect to earn there (thanks to a friend in recruitment), and we realise that it is very possible. I miss it so much it hurts to think about, my husband has said he will take me back but i do not want to make a mistake...........

**RockDr** · 11-01-2012, 01:10 AM

moving doesn't have to be forever, why not go for a couple of years, enjoy yourselves, see how you like it and then reassess the situation.

You're young, the world is your oyster, make the most of it.

**pintpot** · 11-01-2012, 01:13 AM

Originally Posted by RockDr

moving doesn't have to be forever, why not go for a couple of years, enjoy yourselves, see how you like it and then reassess the situation.

You're young, the world is your oyster, make the most of it.

Exactly that

**bensdad** · 11-01-2012, 01:22 AM

Go with your instinct but remember the UK is still in a very bad recession, jobs are harder to get, if it was me i'd wait it out for a few years then if you still feel the same look into then, also remember your friends may of well possibly moved on with their lives and not be around either.

**chisel1** · 11-01-2012, 01:37 AM

Hi there, I can completely understand how you must be feeling, i am currently living in oz around the same age as you (23) over from the UK. I am living with non immediate family at the moment, and as lovely as they are, when i first arrived here we were mere strangers. I find it very difficult at times knowing i left my roots back home, a lot of friends and all my family behind, all of whom i am very close to. However i can advise on this matter from personal experience.

I dont know what line of work you guys work in but personally i am a time served tradesman, the UK has one of the HIGHEST unemployment rates in Europe at the moment and is only getting worse, the country is suffering a huge financial recession, that is estimated to last around 5-10 more years yet. We are the one of the highest tax payers in the world!

People from all walks of life are being made redundant in their thousands every week, whilst immigrants claim benefits of obscene cost to the tax payer.

Pensioners who have worked their entire lives there are being screwed for every penny, and not having delivered the promises they were made by the government.

In summer 2011 the country was nearly brought to its knees in the space of a week, due to rioters running amok in the main cities and surrounding areas, which has brought the UK into serious social decline.

I could go on forever, but as a fully qualified Joiner who was struggling to take home 300 quid a week, i feel strongly about this.

The other side of the coin is that the UK has some really beautiful places and true greenery that Australia doesnt have, the weather is **** to be frank but i do miss going away to Wales and the Lake District. These are some of the few good points.

Your parents obviously left the UK for reasons better known to them, but there was still a reason. The UK is Finished! I would strongly advise you dont go back there to live!

I hope i haven't poured too much cold water on any plans you may have made, but seriously i only tell you what i have experienced and for the last 10 years it hasnt been a good chapter in many Brits lives.

Chin up, and try and find more reasons to live here in Oz, the UK for a holiday is harmless, but to live there is a disaster.

Hope this redirects your thought process.

Regards

Mark

**Proud Pom** · 11-01-2012, 01:45 AM

Originally Posted by Lost9

but i do not want to make a mistake...........

Don't worry too much about that. You have no dependents and you have family in Australia - so if things don't work out in the UK you can come back (make sure you have Australian citizenship before you leave!). Go for it!

**pintpot** · 11-01-2012, 01:55 AM

Originally Posted by chisel1

I dont know what line of work you guys work in but personally i am a time served tradesman, the UK has one of the HIGHEST unemployment rates in Europe at the moment and is only getting worse, the country is suffering a huge financial recession, that is estimated to last around 5-10 more years yet. We are the one of the highest tax payers in the world!

People from all walks of life are being made redundant in their thousands every week, whilst immigrants claim benefits of obscene cost to the tax payer.

Pensioners who have worked their entire lives there are being screwed for every penny, and not having delivered the promises they were made by the government.

In summer 2011 the country was nearly brought to its knees in the space of a week, due to rioters running amok in the main cities and surrounding areas, which has brought the UK into serious social decline.
Your parents obviously left the UK for reasons better known to them, but there was still a reason. The UK is Finished! I would strongly advise you dont go back there to live!

I hope i haven't poured too much cold water on any plans you may have made, but seriously i only tell you what i have experienced and for the last 10 years it hasnt been a good chapter in many Brits lives.

Chin up, and try and find more reasons to live here in Oz, the UK for a holiday is harmless, but to live there is a disaster.

I can't agree with a lot of that

It would be wrong to say things are all a bed of roses in the Uk but it is far from finished, it's still a major economy of 60million people. Unemployment is *not* as bad as some countries in Europe, nor is tax higher than everywhere comparable

The GFC and its aftereffects have had a big impact and continue to do so (only over the past 3 years though rather than 10), and people have lost jobs - but if you are in employment it's not a disaster zone. The effects of those riots was seriously overplayed, 99% of the country just got on with business as usual, as it continues to do

It would be better if poss to get jobs lined up before you go but I'd still give it a shot if you don't have dependents and ties. Better to do it now, before you have a family and whilst you can take advantage of the strong dollar than wait until you have kids, when chances are you'll never go. It might work for you, it might not, but you won't have lost the earth

The biggest issue for me in the UK, and wy I came here, is the lack of prospects for short and medium term growth. I agree it could easily be 10 years before the economy gets motoring again, and at my time of life (40) I have the pressure of time on me that you don't.

**Skani** · 11-01-2012, 02:06 AM

Originally Posted by Lost9

my husband has said he will take me back but i do not want to make a mistake...........

Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them.

But now is the time you can take that risk - you are young, you don't have children to complicate the issue, presumably your parents are not so old that you have to worry about looking after them, you have some knowledge of the UK so you are not jumping into a complete unknown. No matter how "ballistic" your parents have gone, you are now an adult, it is your life and you have to be free to tread your own path... even if you do make mistakes along the way. I'd go while you have the freedom to do it, I can't see that you are burning any bridges - presumably you both have PR in Australia - and if you do eventually decide to return to Australia you will have learnt a lot and had a lot of memorable experiences.

**Paul1Perth** · 11-01-2012, 02:11 AM

I would give it a go. If you both feel like a change and it feels right do it. Otherwise you will be just left wondering and might feel resentment to your parents. After all they took the risk of coming here.

You might like it, you might find it was just a holiday crush, who knows. You are young enough to give it a try and if it fails you've not lost too much.

**Proud Pom** · 11-01-2012, 02:16 AM

Originally Posted by Skani

I can't see that you are burning any bridges - presumably you both have PR in Australia

As I said earlier, make sure you take citizenship before you go if you don't already have it. Then you can stay away as long as you like and come back. Otherwise, you are at the mercy of the expiry of your RRV.