Should we move back!

**Quoll** · 11-08-2011, 07:11 AM

I think your husband is going through what many of us go through as we get older - that indefinable need to return where we belong. My yearning started a few years before I hit 50 but now over 60 the pain is getting worse and I am stuck here - trapped in a time warp.

I think there is so much more for kids to do in UK, far better opportunities being in the big European pond rather than a little Aussie one. If you feel that you can live there then go for it - he is just about as old as he would want to be to resettle - any older and it could be a bit more of a challenge but there are a load of 50s and 60s returnees (on another board) who are finding that it is working really well.

There is no guarantee that once they have left home the kids would want to stay in Australia (one of mine hasnt!) then where would you be? Stuck in a place because of the "kids" with no kids around you anyway. You have to live your lives for yourselves.

**Paul1Perth** · 11-08-2011, 07:35 AM

I know you mention things like being close to Europe but if your hubby is going to be working 10 hours a day, weekends and a 1.25 hr commute you might not have time to go.

**ali** · 11-08-2011, 08:18 AM

I guess the advice is the same if you were contemplating the move to Aus ... If you don't go you'll never know. Like Moving to Melbourne, I would dread the thought of my hubby saying he wanted to go back, but we are a family and a couple and being together is more important to me than where I live - like Quoll I would learn to compromise (but hopefully it will never come to that). Your children are at a young enough age to adapt to change.

**OzzHammer** · 11-08-2011, 08:43 AM

Hi there,my name is Jessica,Im 40 have 2 kids my daughter will be 10 in Sept,& my son will be 12 in January,so starting secondary school.We have toyed with the idea to return to the Uk for the last 2 & a bit years.Have been living in Melbourne suberb Berwick for 7yrs in March2012. We have finally made the decision to go back & are happy that the decision has been made.
Like you Im happy & love Australia,but not as happy as I know I would being with my family & friends,O/H has a very good job 45mins on freeway,lots of prospects for the future etc but Xmas & birthdays are just not the same & never will be.
Its not going to be easy to start,but will be home where we belong & will eventually settle into a way of life with routine etc like we did here & like we were before we came to Australia.
Hope this helps & good luck

**Shelduck** · 11-08-2011, 09:13 AM

hi. We are also in the same boat. We are thinking of returning to UK next year. My main concern is for my son who will be 12 by the time we go back and i am worried as it is a crucial time for him ie going up to high school. It is mainly me that wants to go back for the same reasons as others have said.. family etc.. i also really struggle at xmas time. This is such a hard decision to make as my husband and i have good jobs, the kids are happy, so on paper it sounds madness to be wanting to go back. I feel awful as given the choice my husband and eldest would gladly stay in oz, my youngest has said he would be happy either here or there, and day to day i am happy but i know that i want to get back to family at some point. However i love australia and the lifestyle it offers my family and we will definitely not get that in UK! hence my mood is showing as "torn" lol i now know that i am not alone though! good luck with your decision. by the way we will be citizens by the time we go back (if??)

**JackyJax** · 11-08-2011, 10:52 AM

Thanks so much to everyone who has written back. You've given me lots of courage to say yes to returning to UK.

Husband's commute from Brighton (actually Lewes) to London would be lengthy but he could read on the train/do the crossword, etc. And he would have every weekend free. At the moment, as he runs his own business, he works 7am-6pm, comes home at 630, is jumped on by the kids, then does another couple of hours in the evening or he works 7am-10pm plus every weekend so for him, even with the commute, life would be easier.

The point about how age affects one's yearning to return 'home' was interesting. As I'm not 50, I try to imagine how my husband feels and his need to go back. It's not just about Europe, family, etc it's something about Englishness, about the dead pan humour, the distinct seasons,- hard to put into words as lots of it is intangible.

The point about the NHS is very important for us as one of my children needs ongoing medical treatment (funded by Oz government at cost of $50k per year!!) so I'd need to look into that. Area of Lewes has good schools so that's not such a concern as long as we can get in.

Really appreciate responses from everyone and for everyone being rather gentle with me! It's a really emotional time for us as we ponder on this potentially huge leap!

**Dawny** · 11-08-2011, 10:57 AM

Hi i have no useful advice, just want to wish you all the very best which ever way you decide

**Petals** · 11-08-2011, 08:30 PM

Good luck with what you decide to do. I would consider the pension aspect though as your husband has been here for twenty years.

**ali** · 11-08-2011, 10:55 PM

Originally Posted by JackyJax

Really appreciate responses from everyone and for everyone being rather gentle with me! It's a really emotional time for us as we ponder on this potentially huge leap!

I know we don't always succeed - but I'd like to think that PIO can give just as much advice and support for people making a return journey. From threads/posts it's an agonising decision at times and one taken because of lots of different things.

Keep us posted and good luck

Ali xx

**gypsy6** · 12-08-2011, 12:45 AM

Firstly i would like to wish you all the best in what you decide.
We are going back after three years in melbourne. We have had a lovely time but knew within 6 months of being here that we were going to go back. It has been hard for some family members and friends to understand why and at times its very hard to explain. Fortunately for us we are so sure that it does not matter when people look at us like we are bonkers!