over 60's

[Tanda]

Hi, we have 2 children living in NSW and one son still living in England. Do we go to Oz or do we stay in England. Is there anyone out there that has had this dilema and what did you do and how has it worked out. We feel so torn. We have visited NSW four times and fallen in love with it.
Look forward to hearing from you
Anne

[Gollywobbler]

Hello Anne

Welcome to Poms in Oz.

I will ask Caz Beckham to reply to you because she is a mother in the same position as you.

Also, please see this thread on British Expats. Join BE as well and join in, I suggest, because several of the Parents who contribute to that thread have left children behind in the UK.

the ALL NEW SPARKLY contributory parents visa thread!!! : British Expat Discussion Forum

My mother is one of them (I'm in the UK, my sister Elaine lives in Perth.) However, Mum is 87 and won't go near a computer! I know that Mum felt very torn. However, the Aussie option was and remains the best one for her so I pushed her into it. She tried to quibble but irt was necessary just to override her and get on with it in view of her age.

Once she got to Oz, it was a bit of a mixed bag for 8 months or so. She seemed very unsettled and I was quite worried, wondering whether I had done the wrong thing in pushing her as hard as I did. However, it was also the case that the doctor in Oz decided to give her a complete MOT - which revealed that Mum had become very anaemic. He put her on a course of iron injections which sorted that out.

15 months on Mum sounds as bright as a button again, so I am not sure how big a part the anaemia played in making her feel as down as she seemed. The (many) nurses who post on this site would know, I expect. However, she is absolutely fine again now so whatever it was it was transient.

I would say, "Go for it, my dear. Please do it. Give yourself the option to choose. It is not rocket-science to arrange matters so that the Parent will be a free agent in both countries. The best thing for all 3 of your children - by miles - is to know that you have that choice."

Obviously I speak as the child left behind, but I reckon I speak for your son as well, honey.

Best wishes

Gill

[Tanda]

Hi Gill, many thanks for your reply. I am so glad that your mum has settled OK. My son has said that the decision is ours and he will be happy or us whatever our choice, but I just feel so guilty. It was my other son and daughters own choice to emigrate but my other son hasn't got that choice as he is divorced and his children of 11 and 7 would stay in England. Still your reply has given us something to chew over.
Anne

[Lin]

Hi Anne,
This is my first time so I hope this works!
We'll be in a similar situation. Our middle daughter is married to an Ozzie, been over there then came back again to work but will eventually go and live there. We have just started to apply but (if we are sucessful) we'll be leaving the other girls over here plus our first grand child. I'm just hoping that they will follow and join us eventually. Either way we will be split between them! We also have aging parent to consider but that's another story!
Let us know what you decide.
Lin

[Dalts]

First time here too. What a relief to find people talking the same language. My husband and i are going to apply for a visa to give us the option of choosing which country. We have two children in Brisbane and two in UK. We too have fallen in love with Australia. As parents you have to live your own life and let your children live theirs. We miss our grandson in Oz but visit as often as we can. There is never going to be an answer so..... just live in a fab country in your later years if you are lucky enough, as we are, to be given a chance.

[Gollywobbler]

Originally Posted by Lin

Hi Anne,
This is my first time so I hope this works!
We'll be in a similar situation. Our middle daughter is married to an Ozzie, been over there then came back again to work but will eventually go and live there. We have just started to apply but (if we are sucessful) we'll be leaving the other girls over here plus our first grand child. I'm just hoping that they will follow and join us eventually. Either way we will be split between them! We also have aging parent to consider but that's another story!
Let us know what you decide.
Lin

Hello Lin

Welcome to poms in Oz.

Which visa are you considering applying for? With 1 child in Oz and 2 elsewhere you do not meet the Balance of Family test for offshore Parent migration.

Are you looking at the subclass 405 Investor Retirement visa instead?

Best wishes

Gill

[Gollywobbler]

Originally Posted by Dalts

First time here too. What a relief to find people talking the same language. My husband and i are going to apply for a visa to give us the option of choosing which country. We have two children in Brisbane and two in UK. We too have fallen in love with Australia. As parents you have to live your own life and let your children live theirs. We miss our grandson in Oz but visit as often as we can. There is never going to be an answer so..... just live in a fab country in your later years if you are lucky enough, as we are, to be given a chance.

Hello Dalts

Welcome to Poms in Oz.

I agree with every word you have said.

I would add that when a Parent is getting on a bit (as Mum is) the medical care in Oz is a million times better than in the UK even on Medicare only. The NHS here is a total disgrace by comparison in my opinion. Why didn't Mum's GP in the UK suss out that she was anaemic? What is the matter with them? It took a doctor in Australia to find it out and sort it out for her. Thank goodness for him.

Best wishes

Gill

[jogrant3232]

Hi Anne what a toughy.... Im leaving all my family behind but you only live once. Its going to be hard but Im sure your children will understand whatever you choose to do..

[KALINDA]

Hi, we too were torn in our decision to emigrate to Oz to join our son and family, leaving behind our daughter (twin to our son). It was heart wrenching making the decision to come to Oz, leaving her behind, but we discussed the matter very thoroughly with her and she gave us her blessing. We have been in NSW for a complete year now and have settled very well into our new life. Our daughter has just made her first visit to our new home and we have fingers crossed that she might consider joining us all eventually!!! It has to be her decision and there is much to consider for her, mainly employment. We only have one life and this is not the rehearsal as they say so..... we felt the opportunity was not to be missed so here we are. It is not easy, as a mother, to leave your kids behind even if they are mature people but...........the world is a small place and modern technology makes it all so much easier.

Linda

[Lin]

Hi Gill,
I suppose we are 'younger' grandparents so we will both be working over there. Simon is 42 so it is all down to him to find a job (I'm a bit older!). I'm doing all the searching and he's doing all the applying. We have wavered between Oz and NZ for a few years but have now settled on Oz and are looking Victoria area. Just heard that eldest daughter is thinking of Canada so we're living for the moment and being selfish for once in our lives!
Lin