Franky84

Thank you all for your thoughts and feedback. Yes i have joined my local playgroup and am getting to know a few mums but it hasnt made me feel I want to stay anymore. We are not married but I have suggested we go and see a relationship counsellor. Might be good to air everything out with someone who is un - biased and doesn't know us. Then we can go from there with our next step. F

Im in a pickle!! - My partner and I are both British and met on our travels in Oz 5years ago. He was sponsored by his job and therefore I went as his defacto on a 457 visa. After 3 years together we were granted our permanent residency. I was happy to spend my life in Australia and although I missed my family and friends I did not want to live back in the Uk. I fell pregnant early 2013 and after a 2 week trip back the Uk in March, I really felt a huge pull and desire to go back to be able to bring the baby up with its family and our friends for support. I felt so scared that I wasnt going to have any help. When our son arrived, I struggled - my partner worked very long hrs and I ended up alone and calling my mum upset almost everyday. I have a few friends in Sydney but none of them had children and really knew what I was going through. I ended up with depression and I am still suffering with it to this day. I told my partner I was missing my family terribly repeatedly and suggested we think about moving back. I always got the cold shoulder from him for a while then brushed it off. In May this year I went through a bad period with my depression so my partner suggested I go visit the Uk with our son to see the family. We headed back for 3 weeks and I felt so happy and like my old self again. I actually had a life away from just being a mum and it was so good to have help and support My partner figured this would cure my depression and i would come back a happy different person, but of course that was not the case. I told him things have changed so much and life is different now we had our son and I want to back in England. Now things have just fallen apart. He told me he would hate me for making him go back and that I would ruin his life he worked so hard for. He said he would go back just for our son. Ive been made to feel such a terrible person for wanting this and I dont know what to do. Every time I bring it up we argue and then we don't speak for days. I dont feel happy in Australia anymore and havent for a while but if we move back I lose my partner and have him resent me. Has anyone any advise or been in a similar situation??? Thanks