Lambethlad

Phillip Island is a good place to kick back and relax for a few days but hardly worth a day trip. You could join the busloads of Chinese tourists who arrive every afternoon. They come to see the penguins and go straight back to the city. If you do that make sure to take a warm coat - it's bloody freezing at night with the wind blowing off the ocean.

Bloody hell - I hope you haven't had to put up with that for the whole nine years.

This appeared on my Facebook today. Looks like someone added the bottom line (obviously an Aussie who can't spell).

It sounds like he is in the early stages of dementia. We had the same problem when the MIL was living with us. She was always going to the next door neighbours and just walking in anytime day or night. They ended up putting up a gate she couldn't open. With dementia they loose their inhibitions and manners and normal social standards no longer apply. This guy will never leave you alone. Find a new place to live before something bad happens.

Go for Cairns City. More to do and a huge choice of restaurants. and there is a nice safe man-made lagoon to swim in. There's no point living on the beach cos with all the stingers, crocs and other nasties you can't swim in the sea anyway.

Great - that will only encourage more people to come here. Melbourne is overcrowded, has terrible traffic problems, unaffordable house and land prices and a winter that lasts 6 months. For anyone thinking of coming here - just don't. There are hundreds of places in Oz that have a better climate, are more affordable and much nicer places to live.

Patterson Lakes is very nice. My daughter was hoping to buy a house there but it was just too expensive. Anything with a water frontage is $2 million plus.

Yeah, more tiny, crappy blocks in the back of beyond. Land should be dirt cheap in Oz but zoning of land for subdivision is strictly controlled - keeping prices artificially high. There is plenty of land much closer to amenities and infrastructure already in place but council's won't rezone because of greenie pressure. I would love to be able to subdivide my 8 acres in the City of Frankston and sell the blocks for half the price the land rats are selling for.

The most dangerous thing about Bali is walking at night. Lack of street lighting, broken footpaths, loose chunks of concrete, open pits and drains in the middle of footpaths are very dangerous. So always take a torch when walking at night. Mate of mine rented a villa for 6 weeks for a surfing holiday on the second night he fell down an open drain pit when walking back from dinner. He spent the rest of his holiday on crutches and couldn't do any activities. Ubud was particularly bad when I was last there 5 years ago - you really have to watch your step even in daylight.

Yeah Frankston has gone crazy. 25 years ago I bought an ugly 1950's asbestos sheet clad shack on a large block for $83,000. I never did any improvements and sold it two months ago for $630,000. At the time I bought it I could have bought any number of houses in Frankston North for $40,000 - now there's nothing under $400,000 and despite its bad reputation caused by a minority of low-lifes who live there, it is now the fastest selling suburb in Melbourne.

I have to disagree with those who bemoan Australia's lack of cultural diversity. Every race and culture on earth can be found in Melbourne alone. Yesterday I had reason to go to the suburb of Clayton which is only 30 mins from where I live but I had never been there. It was like a small part of China had been picked up and dumped in Oz. All the shop signage was in Chinese - nearly all the people were Chinese. I went into the "Hong Kong" supermarket to buy some smokes and was told they only sell Chinese cigarettes. Then I spent half an hour wondering around the supermarket being amazed by the strange foods. What the hell do they do with those huge sacks of black fungus?

Australia is not a racist country. The Chinese integrate and inter-marry probably as well as the Brits. My sister-in-law is Chinese. The Chinese embrace Australian lifestyle, food and sport. They make great Aussies - the ones I know love to gamble, drink, eat and are crazy about AFL. It's all good.

My daughter attended EMC and enjoyed it. I'm wondering why you haven't considered Frankston High School - it is one of the best performing government schools in the state. People buy houses in its zone just for that reason.

I've only stayed there for a couple of days but thought it was quite a nice place. I stayed at Elliot Heads which is on the coast about 15 mins from town and it was lovely and relaxing.

It can get cold in April at night so bring some woollies. Things I would do include: Dinner on the Tramcar restaurant, dining in Chinatown (The Flower Drum if you really want to lash out), drinking and gambling at the casino, catch a show at one of Melbourne's great theatres and of course an AFL game at the MCG. My favourite places outside Melbourne are - Bright, Echuca/Moama, Mildura, Great Ocean Road, Sovereign Hill, Mornington Peninsula for wineries and restaurants, Arthurs Seat, Phillip Island (have lunch at Rhyll Trout Farm - you catch your own fish and they cook it for you with chips and salad - beautiful). Good luck.