tea4too

We have definitely noticed a change in the weather, with UK winters consistently milder and wetter. But to be honest whether it's freezing cold or chucking it down for days, winter tends to be the time of year when we catch up with all the stuff there was no time for during the rest of the year, so I don't mind overly much. In some respects reading a good book in front of the log fire while the rain lashes the house is possible one of my happy times! Mum on the other hand really struggles when she can't get out to the garden and finds it hard to find other ways to fill her days. Time hangs heavy until the approach of spring, when she seems to shed the years as the lighter, brighter days put a literal spring in her step. Horses for courses I guess.T x

It's hard to offer advice in the circumstances you describe, but in truth I struggle and we live just a few hundred miles away rather than thousands. It's not necessarily the big stuff either as living in the UK means we can visit regularly and respond quickly in a crisis. It's simple things like picking up the shopping or a prescription when the weather is wild, fixing a door that sticks, changing the battery of a bleeping smoke alarm, making safe that bit of loose carpet... day to day things that happen regularly and are fixed by others, often without even hitting our radar. Mum wouldn't choose to move and our life is rooted here but it has become more of an issue over time and doesn't sit easily with me. It's hard not to feel selfish when someone else is left with no option but to fill the shoes we chose to vacate, but thank goodness they do because I genuinely don't know what Mum or myself would do without them. Sorry Adam, possibly not what you want to read right now, but if there are other family members or even good neighbours willing to provide some level of support, if needed, it might be an idea to sound them out. If nothing else it would give you some degree of peace of mind. Good luck, I hope you can make it work. T x

Hi, and welcome to the forum. If you haven't already, check out some of the threads in the 'Moving Back to the UK' section where you'll find some kindred spirits and discover you are not alone in terms of the issues you are struggling with. A sense of belonging, or lack of it, is a common thread in many posts. It's difficult to offer advice because there's no guaranteed outcome whatever you decide, but I would be cautious about drifting too long in the hope that things improve. On a practical basis it could become a more difficult decision as you and your family grow older. Sometimes instead of trying to decide the best option it can help if you flip the question and work on the least worst option instead. Maybe ask yourself; if you were to make a mistake which outcome would you regret more - being stuck for the foreseeable future in Aus, or in the UK/ Ireland? Which is more likely to have the most negative consequences? It will still be a dilemma because weighing finances against emotions is an apple and pears thing, but it might help to clarify some priorities. Wishing you all the best, T x

@Cheery Thistle The issues you raise are worthy of debate however, while all opinions are valid, reflecting that people happily living in the UK are in denial because they don't share your view is questionable and more likely to push the thread further off track, rather than supporting those 'expats using this part of the forum to discuss the move back.' Perhaps a separate thread in Chewing the Fat would be more appropriate? Either way, as I'm not sure I can add much to the practical advice and support already provided I wish the OP well, and will leave it at that. T x

Who wouldn't? We're posting in MBTTUK, a small section of the forum designed to support those thinking of returning. It was reading negativity about life in the UK that prompted me to join PIO more than a decade ago because I didn't recognise the desperate, gloomy, dispirited place regularly described then, and I don't now tbh. It's right to acknowledge the huge social issues impacting the UK, but it's just as important in my view to acknowledge that many continue to live a relatively comfortable and happy life in a place they are content to call home. I get that planning a new life on the other side of the world might bring into sharp focus negative aspects of the life being left behind, but not everyone is going to share those opinions, or accept that life in every part of the UK is directly comparable. T x

Without doubt life is a struggle for many in the UK just now as the country continues to navigate the economic legacy of covid lockdowns, Brexit and years of austerity policies delivered by successive tory governments. The media is full of stories warning of high interest rates, redundancies, an increase in homelessness and an NHS buckling under the strain. So it would be unrealistic to pretend there is no direct impact on society or individuals and I understand why those looking to emigrate do so in the hope of a better quality of life. But, for all its problems, the UK is still a first world country and the entire UK is not labouring under a constant cloud of despair. Personally we are happy here, our family are settled and making their way in life just as we did at their age, carefully navigating the cyclical ups and downs of economic downturns. If contemplating a MBTTUK my advice would be to choose your area carefully and be thorough with your research, because if you get it right it is still possible to have a good life here. T x

To some extent it depends where the OP (or anyone thinking of MBTTUK) will be living, as devolved governments often operate differently, and even some local authorities will provide support or access to schemes not available in neighbouring postcodes. As a starting point the UK Government website is a mine of information and a useful tool as it helpfully sign posts alternative advice for people living in Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland. T x

Also, if you haven't already, check airline policies regarding flights and pregnancy, a quick look suggests few issues up to 28 weeks, a medical certificate 28-32 weeks and a reluctance to facilitate travel after 32 weeks. The UK benefit system is notoriously complex but the government benefit checker might help. Check out the 'habitual residency test' too. www.gov.uk/check-benefits-financial-support It varies but rental property in the UK can be difficult to secure in many places. 'Rightmove' will help provide an insight into what is currently available in your preferred area, the prices, deposit and such like. Managed tenancies tend to use checking services that require verification of income, savings, credit score and possibly references or a named guarantor. On a more general note, while I understand your reasons for postponing any relocation until later in the pregnancy I can't help but think you are contemplating some huge changes at a time when you a likely to be both physically and emotionally vulnerable. Take care of yourself, involve trusted friends and family to make enquiries and manage practicalities where possible. And lists...I am a great one for lists, if only for the boost of crossing things off. T x

Call makes a valid point. 'From' 2023 would imply a general policy of no charges however, 'for' 2023 is not so clear cut and could equally mean things are open to review in subsequent years. T x

I think one of the great things about this forum is the fact that so many posters have stuck around for so many years, offering advice and opinions based not only on their own life experience but on information shared by and with other posters. And when it comes to the emotional aspect of migration all sorts of thoughts and feelings are explored and shared in Aussie and UK Chat threads. People can read, skip, ponder or ignore that stuff, but in reality those of us that have been part of the forum for a long time know that while some doubts are probably just a wobble, other worries could be key issues the poster would be well advised to weigh and consider carefully. Migration is not an an exact science, as demonstrated by the fact that while life is truthfully very grim for many in the UK just now, other people such as the OP live in a nice place, with a decent income and a network of good friends. Gambling all of that to move from one first world country to another is a big decision and one that is hopefully helped by the shared thoughts and experiences of others. Particularly those who have been there/ done it. Tx

Pob, many recent migrants seem to struggle with their first Christmas in Australia as familiar lifelong traditions don't quite fit with the new environment. In time you will find new traditions, little things that are more geared to the new life you and your family share on the other side of the world. In the meantime you are creating memories that you will one day look back on and laugh at - you've made a start with turkey stuffing! Enjoy the journey. T x

Between loved ones, or in a formal setting such as school or the workplace, it may well be delivered and received as supportive and useful feedback. But on a public forum among strangers it is perhaps more likely to come across as unnecessary criticism, rather than one filled with bonhomie, tbh. Tx

Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda, Bugfamily... lots to look forward to in 2023. Take care, Tx

Thinking of you @bug family at what I know is a difficult time of year for many and possibly for you too this year for a number of reasons. Be kind to yourself and maybe try to keep busy if you can, too much thinking time is not always the best way to get through tough times. Best wishes, Tx

Nana, Blu Flu is right, it is ultimately a decision you have to make for yourself. There are books and experts galore with advice on coping mechanisms, decision making strategies, methods for prioritising what is important ...but no-one can guarantee what will actually make us happiest in the longer term. Big decisions usually carry an element of risk but there comes a time when we have to cross fingers and jump, or stay put which in itself can present different risks. Accepting outcomes on the basis of 'it is what it is' together with a determination to celebrate the positives while managing or accepting the negatives could be key. But whatever you decide at some point you will move on, hopefully with peace of mind for knowing the decision is made. Who knows, you may discover that the indecision and anxiety was far worse than the reality of what you end up dealing with irrespective of where you finally settle. Take care and good luck, T x